I'm 21 years old and because I have no sexual release of any kind because of not having enough muscle movement to use my arms to do anything about it, I'm often really tense, arm shaking, uncomfortable, or in outright pain (the latter now.)

Ok, all that was really difficult to say but I have to give you context.

My question is about wet dreams. I've had only one, back in 1996. I'm glad that happened because otherwise I would not know if my body could ever have orgasm and I would be worrying. It is possible. But I've not had any kind of relief since then.

I have graphic sex dreams a lot. Since February my entire sex drive has been really intense. Dreams and really major and long term arousal (actually that is common when awake too) but no relief. Ever.

My question: is no wet dream for nearly 8 years at all normal or is something seriously wrong?

Come on now, I need a magical dream nymph -- succubus -- to take me in the night. The succubi are slacking. :)

Probably why no wet dreams is how I live with no privacy at all even when sleeping, constant supervision by my grandmother or strict medical people. *shakes his fist at the medical model*

Is being human/sexual a blessing or a curse? I've often wondered about this but today I think it is a blessing. My extreme desire for life, for living, for girls, for loving, for feeling and helping and giving are very wonderful things.

I just hate the pain, both physical and emotional/psychological that has been coming with it. It can wear you down. Also operating at a perpetual state of tension can cause really weird stuff in your life. Like the girl that awakened all this in February, started something, the ultimate girl i've never had such feeling for in my life (she has a serious boyfriend, i've no chance) ... last month we spend an hour walking around and talking and then I've got to go and she gives me a big hug goodbye (only girl to ever hug me like that). The hug was so awesome, so wonderful, when it happened. But such intense feeling that then when I got home I spent the rest of the night trembling and trying not to throw up. I've never told anyone about this before. That part of it was not fun.
Or a girl will touch my arm and talk to me and then I can't sleep that night.

But all that pain aside, I really appreciate a lot about life. There's so much life around when I can get out -- earthy and real and messy and beautiful. I love the way a girl's hair falls down when she lets it drop from her fingers. I love the way the lights beam through the streaks of rain.

I want to get out of my cave more and live. Maybe next semester. I won't stop trying.

No one reading this should give up either.

N

N

Some men have lots of wet dreams, or men have none. So I doubt anything is wrong.

But if you enjoy that sensation - it is possible to have orgasm without using your arms. It may take some work on your part - and maybe some frustration - if you imagine the feeling of sex - recreate how it feels - your body will feel it even without any outward physical sensation. It might not happen the first time - or even every time you try it ----but it is possible. I KNOW - I have had orgasms simply from using my imagination. This is not the same thing as having orgasms with someone you enjoy being with and /or love - but given your situation - Ithink you will enjoy it!

Susan

You did mention that you have a great deal of pain. Are you using any medications to control it? I know from personal experience- long term med. therapies to control pain can have devastating side effects when it comes to sexual function! I, also, can become arroused, however orgasm is nearly impossible. I say "nearly" because if I cut back on my pain meds for several days (and suffer the consequnces- I wouldn't recommend it!) only then can I achieve orgasm, but I can't always say the increased pain and effort needed are really "worth it"
Is there some reason you can't approach your medical team (they are SUPPOSED to be on your side you know!) and tell them you're having a horrible time with desire and ignoring it is NOT the advise you are looking for? Is there a medically necessary reason for the lack of privacy? Even people with disabilities are allowed their sexual selves- but sometimes we need to work harder and yell louder to be heard and respected as the individuals we are- also, you mention a hovering Gma, does she help in your daily needs? Perhaps it's worth looking into to find a non-relative attendant of some kind, it's difficult for someone like a parent or Grandma to see us as fully adult when they still change our diapers - and thats NOT meant in a hurtful way!
I truly hope you find some kind of answer to this, best wishes and prayers!

Thanks for the responses.

Susan, I've tried the imagination thing and will still try sometimes but no luck yet.

I need to not have this sexual tension, pressure, pain in my life. It's hell sometimes.

At any rate, I will keep quietly working on a solution. I must. This situation doesn't feel healthy.

To the second person that responded: your comments about medications concerned me, so I did research online about all my medicines.

One of them listed under posssible side effects "may decrease sexual desire." I laughed when I saw that one, because I often WISH I had decreased sexual desire. I have overwhelming sexual desire. It's extremely strong. My desire isn't reduced. If it were any stronger I would go crazier.

Researching all the medicines I'm on, I didn't read anything about any side effects disrupting actual sexual function. If your medication is harming your lifestyle so much, can't you change medicationns?

Personally, I'm really easily aroused so my sense is that I'll be able to orgasm if I ever have a girlfriend. I hope.

As for my living situation, I've got to work within this system with its lack of privacy for now as much as I HATE it. It can be so much better than this! It's ridiculous. But I plan for next year to be better, with me getting out a lot on weekends, and then to move to an independent life far away in 2005.

Meanwhile, I have to find a way to survive these two years, get a better situation so I'll have the strength to continue and won't keep missing weeks of college from depression (yeah I'm on an anti-depressant and I do the best I can but it's still tough). I've got to get out there and meet people.

I'll keep trying.

Thanks for talking to me and listening to my deepest secrets and caring and for the wishes and prayers. I'll keep you all updated.

I'll also be in chat Wednesday at 9pm ET.

Best,

Nick