Hi, I'm pretty young, however, my boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now, and are very much in love. We are sexually active, and I really would like to tell my mom, I'd like to tell her because I'm so honest about everything and we have a very opened relationship. I don't like keeping it a secret, and I know even though she will be dissapointed it will be good in the long run to tell her. She can take me to the doctor and we can get birth control together, instead of me getting it from planned parenthood, where I am going. Also in the long run, it will build our trust and relationship. My mom and I talk about it a lot, and I've always told her I'm not ready, and when I am I'll tell you, It's harder than I thought to tell the truth about this to her. I know she will be understanding, as she has been with my older sister, although she will be dissapointed, she won't be mad. But I know she's always wanted me to wait until I'm atleast 16, so this will be a killer for her. I just want to know if you had any suggestions, to break it down to her in a good way. i thought about writing it since it will be awkward, but we talk about everything and no matter how awkward this will be, I want to tell her up front to her face. I was thinking I maybe talked to her about it with my doctor, or a counselor when I say it. So I have someone on my side, but someone who is on her side too, and things can be worked out. I love her and I hate keeping it from her and lying to her. Thanks.
'I also had a question about sex. When my boyfriend and I have sex, or when he "eats me out" "I" make this sometimes little noise or sometimes it's a loud pop. It's very embarassing because it sounds like a fart, my friend said it's "quefing". Or whatever you call it. He's never said anything, and although I'm not embarassed about anything around him, because I'm so comfortable with him, It bothers me a lot. What is it and is there something I can do to make it happen less often, my friend says it happens to her, but only once in a great while, but it happens to me like every time! Ugh what can I do about it, if anything? Thanks!
How old are you? If you are under 16 and your boyfriend is over 16 you coud be putting him at big legal risks. But that doesn't answer your questions.
I don't recommend you write to your mom. If you and your mom have a good relationship than she will want to talk to you right away. I also recommend that you have this talk with her alone.
The thing your mom will want to know right away is that you are taking care that you do not get pregnant or get any disease. So I think I would start there--------Mom - you know I have been going to Planned Parenthood. I've been going there on my own because I was really worried about telling you why I wanted to go there. Then tell her you saw a doctor and that you are using the birth control you are using.
Of course she will want to know who you are having sex with, if she doesn't already suspect or know. Tell her whatever committments you have made to each other.
She will want to know what you have done, where you have done it, etc. If you were older you could say none of your business it is a private thing, but since you are under 16 that is not really true. She is responsible for you--because she loves you, but also legally.
Realize that this might be a big shock for her and she may be totally unprepared - so she may say some things that aren't exactly what she would say if she had been able to plan it. Try to be patient and listen to her fears about what you are doing. Try to listen without saying anything.
The more mature you can be when you have this conversation, the more mature she will know you are and will more likely support you in being the person you have become.
Now about your vaginal farts, or varts, or queefs ------not a thing you can do about it. Women have different shaped vaginas and some shapes hold more air than others. When you start to get excited and bear down -you force the air out--not a thing you can do about it. The one thing to remember is that unlike typical farts these don't smell bad. No just relax.
Hello again, I am 15 and my boyfriend is 16, I'm not worried about any legal trouble, they love him and would never do anything like that! I'm sure my mom and dad will still love him after I tell them. I will deffinately tell her I am taking care of myself, and I'm sure she will trust that from the start, I always told her I would be safe. She will know who I am with, that will be obvious to her, I think she kind of suspects it, but isn't ready to admit it to herself. She knows I'm mature, and I hope we can both handle this situation as rationally as possible. I have an appointment with the doctor, that we made after an incident, for me to talk to the doctor about sex and other womenly things. So I think there I will tell my doctor, and she will give me birth control. and then I'll tell my mom alone with her afterward or in the room. Does that sound good? It's February 3rd. Thanks. I have more questions but I need to run, talk later thanks again.
Let's say the incident, is when My boyfriend and I wanted some special alone time. And the special moment was pretty much ruined, when his Aunt and Uncle dropped by. They didn't understand very much and were angry, but it's not their decision its ours. We are very careful and care about eachother more than anything, using all precautions. Although we both know that there are never any garauntee's we are prepared for them and talk about the consequences. But also enjoy our relationship and the ups that come with it. I wish they understood more, but they don't. Its ok, one day they will. That's why I think my mom know's but she doesnt want to admit it and she wants me to be honest with her. And thats why I also think she suggested this appointment with my doctor.
Kelsey,
Yes, I suspect your mom knows. Might the Aunt or Uncle told? Best to get this out in the open soon. Please let me know how it goes when you do.
Susan