ok, i can only have an orgasim when i use a vibrator, not with my hand or by my husband, what can i do we have been trying and i don tknow what to do. is there a medical problem, because i need a stong vibrator and sometimes it takes hours?
please help

Dena,
Since you can orgasm with a vibrator you don't have a medical problem.

But since it takes so long for you to orgasm- and you can't do it with your hand and your husband can't do it - you have an efficacy problem- meaning you must be doing something wrong.

If takes different women different amounts of time to orgasm--but hours is not OK. If it takes hours my guess is that eventually you are stimulating some part of your body finally long enough just a tiny bit at a time that it finally adds up to an orgasm.

What are you doing with the vibrator? If it is a straight vibrator and you are sliding it in and out of you- you are probably missing your g-spot. The g-spot is really the only place inside the vagina that is sensitive. Get a curved vibrator and try that.

Are you using it on your clitoris? Are you using lubrication? A vibrator on a clitoris for a long time will will need lubrication or it will take a much longer time for it to feel like you want it too.

Lots of women can't have orgasm from vaginal intercourse. It is a very normal thing. The clitoris is the main source of a woman's pleasure - and it is usually tongues and fingers that cause more pleasure than penises.

The exception to this for a lot of women is using positions that help the penis connect with the g-spot. The easiest position to this is doggie-style/ rear entry-- but a scissor style - or a modified missionary-style/with your legs up over his shoulders works well too.

Buy a book with lots of sexual positions in it and try different ones. Different people fit together different and some positions work better for some people than others. The Joy of Sex by Alex Comfort is a good place to start.

Good luck
Susan

thank you for responding so quickly, i got a little help from your message, but the vibrator is soley for clittoral stimulation. wheni use my hand or my husband performs clitulingus(?) my legs either shake uncomfortably or it just doesnt feel good. i will try to use lubrication when i mastrubate but what should i do with the hand issue? why is it so different from the vibrator? i thought the hand would feel better. i really wish it wouldnt be such a problem just to have an O.
plese help me
thank you