Hi,
I just had sex for the first time with my girlfriend, a first for both of us, and it was fairly awesome... the only problem was that I couldnt seem to orgasim. Im a fairly fit young man and we went at it for atleast 45 min to an hour per time (once late at night and once in the morning) and she got a lot out of it but for some reason i couldnt seem to come. Ive had the same sort of problem with recieving oral sex aswell and am rather concerned. To be honest Ive been a fairly avid masterbator since a fairly early age, i havnt really done anything perticuraly odd or distructive but I've definently done it a whole hell of alot and was wondering if that could have contributed to allowing me not to be able to orgasim normaly from intercourse or otherwise because as I stated before, im rather concerned as well as embarassed about this problem. The only other background that I can offer is that while masterbating I move my hand REALLy quickly cause as I said im a rather athletic youth and it is what is most time efficient and pleasurefull. (Also as a note, there arent any genitailia compatibility issues aswell, im a little above average for a man and as i said she was a virgin) For the moment i have stopped masterbating but seek any other advice I can gain :-( for I am rather distressed

Brandon,

Stop being distressed. What you have experienced is very common. Since you have orgasms with ejaculation when you masturbate you know it is not a problem with your body - it is a problem in your head.

You have a couple of choices ----

1. Don't masturabte for 2-3 days before you know you will have sex - that way your ejaculation builds up.

2. Accept that having an ejaculation is not going to be part of your sex together until you are more comfortable together.

3. Teach her how to masturbate you after you have sex so you can ejaculate.

4. Masturbate yourself so you can ejaculate.

Another thing you need to realize. Ejaculation and orgasm are different things. Ejaculation is that stuff that flows out of your penis - orgasm is that wonderful feeling you get.

If you are missing that wonderful feeling it is probably just a stress issue - you will probably get over it when sex with a person becomes more familiar. Lots of guys have this problem with new partners - and at other times tooo. Some guys get it even worse - they can't get hard enough - be thankful that you didn't have that problem too.

So relax and stop worrying and pick one of the solutions above.
Susan

Thanks for your help, its reassuring to know that its probably phycological and not me having messed up my body over the last couple of years :-) I had indeed used alternative methods to stimulate myslef to Orgasim (which is paired with ejaculation automaticaly for me since I havnt expirienced one without the other) after we were done actualy having sex, i was just kind of dissapointed not to be able to expirience the joy of sex start to finish in the traditional way. anyways ill just try to relax and still enjoy the expirience to the extent that I can,
Thanks again

The trouble that you have is that there is a big difference between jerking off and putting it into a pussy. You probly are in the habit of gripping it to hard, therefore you have a lot of friction and therefore makes you cum fast. Being in a woman is a different story, especially if she is really wet.

Thats why I think anal sex is as popular as it is. It is a lot tighter and feeds good.

Susan has a good point. Dont play with it for a few days before you have sex with your G/f. That will make you horny enough to do the trick.
Happy humping.
Big John