i cant have an orgasim no matter what i try i cant even have one alone please help me i dont know what to do

cassie

Cassie,

How old are you? It is very very common for many women not to be able to have orgasms until they are in their 20s.

Are you using artificial lubrication?

Susan

i am 15 and why cant women usually have one till their 20's and no we dont use artificial lubrication

Cassie,

Orgasm is the action of an adult woman's body and at 15 your body might still be more a child's body than an adult body.

It takes time for a body of a woman to develop. A girl begins puberty - which essentually mean she has female hormones than become active. When the hormones become active her body changes shape. Hormones are also partly responsible for a woman's ability to orgasm.

So although a young woman might be interested in sex it can be that she is unable or has a very difficult time acheving orgasm. Some young women can - others can't. It all about how your body is developing and not much you can do to change it.

Lubrication is what naturally happens when a woman gets excited. Very few woman have as much lubrication as what makes sex the most pleasurable. Artificial lubrication makes sex feel better.

I I know this is not what you want to hear - but it is simply the way the body works.

Susan

A reply from Saint that wouldn't post correctly-----

hi cassie:
i have to agree with xuxan here - perhaps your body's not ready yet for the full works. but hey there's nothing to stop you from having koochie fun, is there? so stop obsessing about the big-O and introduce the many kinds of little-Os in your life! i remember my gf and i getting really steamed up by a kiss when we were all of 13! so chill and find your own pleasure points.
~saint

I have the same problem as Cassie and i have really been concerned about it..the only difference is im 17 going on 18..im 5'3ft 115lbs.. i dont know if my size would have some kind of effect as to why i cant reach my peak i hope not because im pretty sure i wont be growing anymore..but my boyfriend and i have tried so many different things and nothing seems to work all different kinds of positions and the extra 4 play..we havent used lubricants however, so maybe that will work, but when im actually in the process of having intercourse i dont feel anything..it just feels like my partner is just thrusting in and out, back and forth...and occasionly my lower abdamen will hurt..is there any kind of advice you could give me? the only time i have felt an orgasim is through masturbation..but i want to be able to feel it with my partner..can u help me?

Nene,

You are still young. Try lubrication it will probably help.
But the sexual intercourse may never make you orgasm. Many many many women never orgasm from sexual intercourse. They may enjoy it - but not orgasm. Teach your boyfriend what you like to do during masturbation and have him do it as part of intercourse.

Susan

the best advice i could give would be try rubbing. the most surefire thing i've heard of for a girl to get off is by just kindof a soft, and increasingly hard rub. experiment a little bit with it

I am 19 and pretty close to 20 and I can't have an orgasim me and my partner have tried different positions and it doesn't seem to work what could I do to help me have one even when he gives me oral I don't have an orgasim and its really aggrivating! Any suggestions?

Michelle,

Are you having orgasms from masturbating? Start there. If you can't do it for yourself- no one else can either.

Susan

i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. i am 19 going on 20. i have been having sex with the same guy since i was 16. i have never had an orgasim while having sex. but i do masterbate. maybe becasue we only have sex once every 1-2 months. it still hurts. what do i do???

Sex should never hurt ( except if and when your hymen tears). If sex is hurting you two are doing something wrong and it has nothing to do with only having it every 1 or 2 months. Why do you even do it if it hurts?

There are a small number of cases where sex hurts for medical reasons - but when you are a teenager- the reasons below are most likely:

You are having sex too quickly - you need atleast 20 minutes of foreplay for your vagina to get ready for sex

You need artificial lubrication - every woman needs extra lubrication - no exceptions - natural vaginal lubrication is not enough

He is too rough - going too fast, pushing in too deeply

You are under too much stress - you are worried some one will walk in, hear you, find out

You have a very immature body and your hips have not widened and there is just very little space ( not likely given your age)

Good luck.
Susan

I cant even orgasm when i masterbate is ther any hting i can do?

Since I don't know what you are doing it s very hard to suggest anything.

Susan

Hi Susan,

Now what would you say that my problem is? I am 27 yrs and I have never had an orgasm. I have never even gotten close. I have tried to relax. I have tried to focus. I have tried the oral sex. I have tried the forplay. I have even tried to masterbate. What is wrong? But you want to know the tripped out thing. I have had what I thought was an orgasm in my dreams. Please let me know why I cannot have them? I am becoming very sexually frustrated and I am about to give up!

Annette,

You said " I have even tried masturbating." Doesn't sound like you have a really positive attitude toward masturbating - so I would start there. If you can't have an orgasm from masturbating you will most likely not have one from sex.

So you need to work on feeling good about masturbating.

Then you need to buy some lubrication and a few sex toys. You need to relax and play with them and yourself. Try doing all sorts of different things.

Learn to make love to your clitoris - forget about the inside of your body- the sensation you feel there are secondary to what your clitoris feels. Rub it, tickle it, vibrate it fast, vibrate it slow, rub in circles, rub with a piece of silky cloth, with a towel -try anything you can think of. Just tyry to feel sensations. Don't worry if you orgasm or not - just see what feels good to you.

Susan