Young people should wait until they are old enough to make responsible decisions about having sex before chosing to have sex. Teenagers are too young and immature to make a decision like that. Parents are also at fault for not informing their children about the issue. Some teenagers are foolish enough into thinking that they need children at that age. Personally, I have chosen to wait until I get married before having sex (yes I'm still a 23 year old virgin), because if your already having sex and making babies, what's the point of even getting married? This is why STD's are on the rise, too much promiscuity and not enough monogamy. I would be interested to hear what your position is on abstinence Susan.

Clay,

I too believe in abstinence as a choice. A choice not chosen often enough. I don't think age has a whole lot to do with it - I know irresponsible adults and very responsible young teenagers.

I think marriage has nothing to do with responsible sexual behavior. Marriage is a legal contract - people can behave responsibly about sex with or without a signed marriage contract.

But I do believe that teenagers often are more wiling to take risks that a person a few years older won't take - and that is a problem.

I also know that teenagers often have inaccurate or no information about how to stay sexually responsible - to themselves and their partners.

Personally I think very very few teens under 16 have the maturity to behave responsibly when it comes to sex. But I am unwilling to promote abstinence as their only good choice because it just isn't going to be listened to. Abstinence sexuality education has been proven NOT to work. Kids need knowledge to make good sexual choices.

I will and do promote abstinence as a good valid choice. And I do recommend abstinence when a person is demonstrating an inability to be responsible about sex.

Susan

Clay you speak like a king sitting on his throne while looking down on the rest of us and thinking that you know what therest of us are feeling. You maybe in control of yourself or just never had the oppourtunity, a real oppourtunity to have sex or maybe you had the chance but backed away due to some unknown reasons
The way i see it is that you're no longer a virgin the day you are mentally prepared to have sex. It's only a matter of time when the act is consumated. Sexuality is perhaps the strongest force on earth, it is both god send and a curse to humanity. Some are burdened by it and some have embraced it. The strongest of men both written in religion and in present day have been brought down and raised by their sexuality.
There is an appeal in abstinence, if you are abstinant and if your girl is abstinant then you can rest assure no other guy would want to have anything with your girl once they know they can't get the full treatment.
A lot of religions talk about abstinence, Islam, christianity, etc but that is perhaps one of the last things those followers adopt. even so called church leaders are unable to control themselves. So we cant assume and force abstinence onto others, we have to find a better way. People will have sex no matter what and with that knowledge in hand we have to educate them in the right way or doing things. When there is no stigma to sex then more help can be given.

Clay,

I also had to take issue with one more thing you wrote. Mongamy or the lack of it is not the cause sexual diseases.

Sexually transmitted diseases are simply those transmitted by close genital contact. Galardia is a very common sexually transmitted disease - so common and so innocuous that it is rarely discussed. It is caused when a person does not wash their hands well after going to the bathroom, or touching raw meat, or using sex toys in the anus and then in the vagina without washing them. Two people could be virgins by definition and pass on this sexually transmitted disease to each other.

Sexual diseases are largely caused by irresponsible behavior.

The other main cause of sexual disease is deceit/ lies. A woman is in a relationship with a man she thinks is monagamous with her. (or vice versa) They don't use condoms because they are supposedly monogamous. Because being honest would end the relationship - the risk is taken to go without condoms. So instead when the deceit/lie is discovered because a sexual diseasse is passed between them - the relationship ends.

We push people into monogamy and think that is the solution. We push our teenagers into monagamy and so they get too seriously involved with someone too early and have sex before they are really ready.

We need to emphasize responsible sexual behavior without morals and values that most people have made their mind up about by the time they are teenagers anyway.

Susan

I didn't mean to sound like an anti-sex dictator looking down on everyone else or anything when I said to practice abstinence. I just though that it is the proper thing to do. I disagree with your definition of a virgin. A virgin is someone who has not engaged in sexual intercourse. According to your definition of virgin, a young child who thinks about having sex is no longer a virgin, which is nonesence. I am strong in my religious/spiritual beliefs as a hindu, and maybe thats why I chose not to have sex until I get married. For us hindus, marriage is for life, but for others, marriage is just a signed agreement between two people. Maybe if people were more serious about their marriage commitments then there wouldn't be so much divorce in our society. I still believe monogamy helps to prevent sexually transmitted diseases, contrary to what Susan said. It just seems strange to me that people want a monogamous relationship, but deep down they want to be with many partners. Well, we are all primates in the end, and as such, it is biologically advantageous for men to have many sexual partners. We should resist the temptation to act like animals or "players."

You have misunderstood what i said. When a person is ready to have sex, then at that point he is no longer a virgin. All he is lacking now is the PHYSICAL act to consumate what he has set his mind out to do. A precusor is as important as the act itself. A child doesnt know what they want so if they want sex then they are being misguided. If a adult who is in full control of his faculties decides to have sex then he should do so responsibly. Marriage is for life, it is easy to say but marriage it more than just words. Any daft can spew that phrase out. Have you read the Kamasutra? You should, it would teach you a lot about male and female relationships. Hinduism teaches but it is up to you to understand the true meaning. All religion has laws but most of us are blind followers. Are you a blind follower?

Mr. Anonymous, why don't you try using your real name next time. I am not a blind follower of religion. I know that all religions including Hinduism are full of garbage in some form of another. Its up to you to "sift" out the meaningful aspects and abide by them. I still believe your definition of "virgin" is still quite perposterous. I think I've been mentally ready to have sex, but I haven't yet, so to you I would not be considered a virgin? I prefer the traditional definition of virgin, as I think most others do as well.

Clay,

Actually there is no one accepted definition for virgin. Here are a few:

A person who has never had vaginal intercourse with the opposite sex.

A person who has never had penetrative sex ( anal or vaginal) with anyone.

A person who has never had anal, oral, or vaginal sex with anyone.

A woman who has an intact hymen.

A woman who has never been ejaculated inside of.

A man who has never ejaculated.

Personally I find the term virgin to be useless. I think there are far more important considerations when a person is coinsidering having sex or engaging in a partnership with another person.

Susan