Clay,

You just responded to a post about all the countries people come here from. Almost 50% of the people who visit here come from countries where English is not the native language.

This forum was specifically designed for people who do not read or write English well. This could be because they have a disability or it could be because they do not really speak English fluently.

Nomi is from Africa ( if I recall correctly) and I would suspect that the message he wrote took him a very long time to figure out how to say what he wanted to say and that was the best he could do.

Susan

I'm sorry for what I said about speaking more coherently. I had no idea that he probably can't speak english.
Sorry about that Nomi. Sorry Susan.

Susan, I was wondering, is there anything I can do to straighten my penis out? When it becomes erect, it sort of curves a little to the left.

Clay,

Not a thing you can do. Most men curve in one way or the other. Relax and enjoy it the way it is.
Susan

Clay,

Your login in name many people will find very offensive. Do you want people to hate you? Personally I don't care - but I know others who post here take their religion very seriously. In the future any messages you write with that login name will be rejected.

Susan

I honestly didn't mean to offend anyone. I just thought that it was a cool name. I won't use clay_is_god anymore.

Hey Susan, is there a certain time when people come to use the chatroom?

Nope- I've tried to get people to vote on a time - but no luck.

Hey Susan, what is your favourite sexual position? Are there some positions that gives the girl more pleasure?For me, that is when I start having sex, I would prefer having my girl on top as opposed to me being on top. I really don't like the missionary position (male on top). I think its just for amatuers, plus it makes it seem like the girl is being forced into having sex. I also like back to front positions, since the feeling of hips grinding together is quite unpleasant.

Clay,

I don't like being on top - not a good positon for me because the way my pubic bones are arranged.

Susan

Susan, do you think that having cyber-sex in chatrooms is perverted? Occasionally, I like to cyber-sex chat with people while playing online checkers. Does any one else like doing this?

Clay,

I used to have a ton of cybersex - but haven't in a few years.

Susan

Hey Susan, why are a lot of my messages getting deleted? I don't think I was giving bad advice or being rude.

Well Clay since you asked - yes some of your messages are being deleted (as are others). Occassionally I'll still edit your posts I find unacceptable - but it is just taking up too much of my time to edit your posts. So now I delete them when they include inaccurate, not relevant, or unthinking posts.

1. Deleted because you recommend anal masturbation to a person who enjoys urethra play with his wife. Stop recommending this to every guy here. Especially when they are not asking about OTHER possible sexual techniques. Most guys are not into it . Urethra play is not dangerous if done carefully. It is no more dangerous than your anal masturbation. This was an irrelevant post.

2. Deleted because you recommend lying to a person and staying in a relationship to prevent suicide. All this does is create trust issues for future relationships and delay the inevitable. A person who is considerinng suicide needs help- not lies. This was an inaccurtae post.

3. Deleted because you tell a person who is 16 not to have sex because you don't have sex and aren't that into anyway. If you notice I rarely tell a person NO to anything when they need to make choice. I try to give them all the information they need to make a good choice. This was a unthinking post.

4. Should have deleted- and might still. You recommend the morning after pill. A person who posts here is too late to use it. You need a doctors prescription to get it - and it needs to be taken very soon after the event. Most doctors wil not prescribe it for accidents - it is used primarily in the case of rape.

I work very hard to provide information that is accurate and reasonably unbiased ( I do have biases, I will admit.) I try to give people the outcomes no matter which choice they make. i give my personal experiences as examples of the outcomes I encountered. I know that my choices are not going to be the best choices for others.

You need to stop putting your 2¢ in on every post without having anything really pertinent to contribute to it. Every guy in the world is not into anal masturbation. Every person has not made the decision to have sex when they are young foolishlessly. You do have some good things to contribute when it is based on your own experiences and matches the experience of the person who is asking the question. But sometimes what you say is just completely off-base.

Susan

Well thanks for clearing that up. I'll stop giving my 2 cents worth, as you put it, to every post.

Clay,

Your words will be far more valued when you only respond to posts that you have real experience with. You can write really wonderful posts - but those get lost within the other ones.

I look forward to reading your next post.

Susan

Susan, you want to hear about my experience, well I'll tell you about it. Earlier this year, during my fourth year of university, I met a nice Punjabi (Indian) girl, who was also in her fourth year at the same university. Her name was Ruchika. I had the feeling that she liked me, since she would innocently glance at me when I would walk by her. So one day, I saw her at a computer in one of the computer labs and I went in and sat down next to her. I introduced myself to her and we talked for a little.

A few days later I saw her again and we exchanged email addresses. We also talked to eachother for nearly an hour. I was surprised to see how much we had in common with eachother and it seemed like we were compatible. So later, I sent her an email saying that we should go to temple some time. This is when things start going sour. She sends me a reply saying that we can't do anything together, because her parents are too strict and would be very upset if they found out that we were going places together. So I tell her, thats fine with me, I'll be happy just being friends with her. She then emails me saying to stop emailing her and if I happen to see her again at school with her sister, don't acknowledge that I know her. That got me really pissed off. I was so nice to this girl, more than I've been to pretty much anyone. So then I sent her a mean email and that was pretty much the end of that.

My problem with the whole thing is that if she didn't want anything to do with me in the first place, then why didn't she just say so when I saw her at university? Why lead me on like that? That whole experience has really turned me off from dating and girls in general. I thought that I was pretty conservative, but she was even more conservative than I could ever be. I just hope that when I decide to tell Neetu (a good family friend) about the possibility of being a couple, things work out better than they did with Ruchika.

Clay,

I could be reading between the lines here wrong - but this is what I see.

This girl shows an interest in you by glancing at you a lot.
You introduce yourself to her and she lets her guard down and you talk- a lot.
You share emails addresses.

All this is at college - away from her family where she feels a bit freer.

You email her saying you want to go to Temple together. This is not on college turf- but on her parents turf. She is not ready for that yet.

She needs to keep her college life and her family life separate.

She did not say do not say hello to me or acknowledge me ever - she said when she is with her sister.

This sounds to me like a woman who is very frightened of her parents reaction to seeing you. She is also afraid they will see your emails to you.

Your sending her a nasty email was not a good move on your part. any chance of a friendship with her is probably finished. If you learn anything from this - you need to learn patience and trying to see the situation from the other person's point of view.

Susan

I think you're right about her being frightened about letting her parents see us together. From what I've heard about Punjabi people is that their parents are much more stricter then average Indian people, why, I have no idea. I also doubt that she ever had a boyfriend before, or else why would she be so paranoid of being caught.

I probably shouldn't have sent such a nasty email to her, but she kind of had it coming. I still don't see why she would want me to stop emailing her, unless her parents actually check her emails, which is a violation of privacy. I figured, since there's no chance of having any kind of relationship with her, might as well end it with a bang.

But you know something, deep down I had a feeling that it wouldn't work out with her, so I wasn't too surprised when she said to stop emailing and acknowledging her. I did send her an apology email to her and she replied by saying her message was mean as well and it didn't seem to bother her too much. If luck should have it and I run into her again, I would probably say hi to her, but thats all.

Hey Susan, why did u deleted my freak cock thread. It wasn't something i made up, just enter master E/monster tubes and google it (i tried it a while back but it didn't came up, just search long). I just thought it would be an interesting topic to talk about ---- also what do u think of me, because i bet that u just think im annoying.

Bjorn,

Yes, I deleted the monster cock post because I saw no relevance to this site. It discussed a dangerous practice, It was not something you were considering doing and i don't want anyone to consider it.

What do I think of you? I think you are trying to push me to a point where I get angry at you - possibly ban you. I think unlike Clay you are doing it deliberately. Do I annoy you? No, you amuse me.

Susan

I was never trying to deliberately annoy you Susan, unlike Bjorn. I know we usually don't see eye-to-eye, but its good to have different opinions and perspectives when it comes to sexual issues. Gregorio has offered a lot of useful advise, thanks to his many years of experience. He knows exactly what women want and how to please them, and thats something that I need to learn. Maybe that's why my last relationship ended so quickly. I had the impression that she didn't want anything to do with me, but it might have been that she was just too afraid of her parents finding out.

Clay,

I hope you understood I was not saying you were doing anything deliberately to provoke me. If I thought it was deliberate I would not have taken the time to edit your posts. But I am a bit saddened that you aren't learning from those edits.

I think part of the problem you experienced is from how you just described it---a relationship. It was not a relationship. It was a bit more than a casual acquaintance. You seem to have the pattern of misreading or not paying attention to the cues that can give you valuable information.

Susan

it isn't my intention to annoy you, I think im just mizzundastood. ----also i've been working out with a dumbell kit (weights). I am doing 2 kilos each hand for about a week now. In the manual it said that i must do it 3 times a week so that tha muscles can recover and and grow, but i wasnt payng attention i gues, and im doing it every day about 25 times since tuesday. yesterday i did it 50 times, but my muscles are not rock hard, there just soft. I faced this terrible truth that it wasnt working back in the morning. I Was windsurfing for the first time, with a 5.5 sail, wich was for good for my posture, but i couldnt pull the sail up, because it was to heavy.
Q: So should i follow the manuel doing it 3 times a week or can just keep un doing it everday

I guess I'll have to work on properly reading and interpreting people and these threads. Sometimes when the thread is too long, I'll just skim through it and comment on it without taking much time to see what the person was acutally trying to say. I will try not to do that in the future.

You need to follow the manual. What it says is what has found to be true about muscle building. If you do it everyday you accomplish next to nothing- the muscles do need time to recover and grow. If you want to work out everyday- just work -out using DIFFERENT muscles or an entirely different kind of workout.

You apparently haven't met the right girl yet. When you do, it will be a great feeling. Right now, the feeling is only coming from you. You try hard to make her like you; try hard to make it work, but you can't, and don't want it that way. The harder you try... the more she will go the other way. The right girl will accept you the way you are... good and bad. She will want to know all about you. You will catch her going out of her way to see you; to get a glimpse of you around a corner.... thinking you don't see her. She will call you on the phone and try to get you to come over. She will meet you half way on issues. She will be anxious for you to meet her parents. You will feel open and relaxed around her. You will be able to tell her your deepest, darkest secrets and she will understand. Then you've found the right one...a true friend. You must become friends first way before anything else. She must like you for you and just not for your car, clothes or whatever.
All of the above is hard to do with your hormones jumping a mile a minute..looking at, drooling over and wanted to touch a pretty girl.

Bjorn,

{I know this is really off topic in a sex forum now but i can help bjorn out.}

When you're windsurfing, a lot of the lifting is using your body weight. If you're trying to muscle even a 5.5 sail you're going to have a really hard time of it. The best thing to do is grab the pull up rope straighten your arms and legs then just lean back, and as long as your back is to the wind the mast will come up. Use your legs and just keep your weight back and the sail will come, up you will see. Don't get discouraged by having a hard time the first day. Windsurfing takes a while to get the hang of, but once you get the hang of it (go at least 5-10 times) it's a blast to do!

As for your working out problem, you need to work out your entire body. You say you can do the weight for many repetitions (50) but what you really need to be doing in order to build muscle is increase the weight so that you can only do 12-15 repetitions. So get some larger weights and find a weight you can do curls with 12 times, and if after 2 weeks you find you can do over 15 then increase the weight again. You also need to work out your back, triceps and abs if you want to be able to windsurf well. In working out, you don't notice immediate results, think more of monthly increases rather then from week to week. Keep track of your repetitions and weights in a log book and track your performance through that. Windsurfing itself (once you actually get up and going) is a great workout as well on it's own!

Good luck with the windsurfing and working out. If you have any other questions about windsurfing or working out, just drop me an e-mail and i'll talk to you through that.

Later,

Mike

i just wnated ot clear a few thing sup with clay. Whether you're punjabi, gujurathi, telengu, whatever form of indian you are...you're parents will be what they wer etaught by their parents. Over 50% of the indian parents, whether living here in America or in India or whereever are extremely conservative do to the fact that their parents were as well. It's rare, to see indian parents allow their teenage (could be in 20's too) daughter or son to date. Most of the time they reason why they don't want their children to date is because it's shameful in their indian community wherever they live. another reason is because alot of times, they dont' want their children going for somoene of a different race. (Sorri Clay but i have a feeling thats wut happened to you)..and even if they do go for another indian..parents still worry about the whole sex thing,, getting pregenant, just maybe a little bit more neurotically then other parents of a diff race.


i'm a malayalee. i'm from south india and honestly i have to defend this girl. yoou dont know much about this girl's race or culture and yet u get offended by what she said. You told her that you wnated to go to temple with her...that would really ruin her rep in her community, i dont know if you knew that. If she brought a white guy with her, even if it was just as friends do you know the kind of things that would spread about her...i'm sure by the end of that day after the temple together she'd be labled as a first class whore with the punjabi;s all around. And her parents would kill her too. I know it wasnt right for her not to even ackwoledge you in college...and i know its kind of immature of her, but maybe she thought it was for the better b/c she knew she would never get her parents apporval of you anywayz. even if you guys just turned out to be friends..her parents would think it was more and make her pay for it like it was something bad to be friends or "going out" wit u.

It's hard being indian...me i get around it all.I have been thyough a couple boyfriends..and now i think i've foudn one thats a keeper. my only problem is he's north indian not south indian..and i have a feeling my parents will never get used to it.plus i'm christian and he's hindu..and thatll really be giving my parensta heart attack.
My parents dont like me and boys. but even at ayoung age i taught myself there was nothing wrong with them...but that always got me in trouble cuz i would sit there and just tlak with guys at indian parties and thta always gave my parents a bad name of "not raising me well". it's not true and its all bullshit. one fo the reasons why i hate the stupid indian communites ...Their all a bunch of hypocrites looking to point a finger at each other because it makes them look better. But a rep is a rep. And for my parents and for alotta other indians..youre rep is an important thing. Me being a next generation indian and not raised in india...things arent gonna be like that for my kids. they'll be able to date, and experiment and theyll be able to tlak to me the way i was never able to tlak to my parents. i learned what not to be from my rentz.

So its hard being indian....please i'm sure she was a sweet girl and she liked you, butshe knew in the end it would never wrk out cuz the way her culture was. please dont be offended by that clay. it's just how these things are. but i garentee you in the future there's alot more ppl like me out there, and our kids wont be as frusterated as we are.

I hope that I meet someone like that in my lifetime, preferably before I'm old and whithered so that we can get married and have a nice family. I think my family friend Neetu could be that person. I'm going to tell her how I feel about her the next chance I get and hopefully I don't get rejected once again. That would really piss me off.

Thank you for taking the time to respond to my story, Amrita, it really means a lot hearing it from someone who understands how things are for us Indians. My parents are actually from Guyana, but my great-grandparents originated from somewhere in India. They are not too strict when it comes to dating and reputations, rather they are somewhat liberal. What really bugged though about my encouter with Ruchika was not that she turned down going to temple with me, it was that she said to stop emailing her and even acknowledging her. I think when I told her that I was West Indian, she kind of lost interest in me, although she never actually said that. I used to think that there wasn't much difference between West Indians and East Indians, but from what I've heard, East Indians don't think much of West Indians, probably because many of them act like black people.

I hope that things between you and your boyfriend work out for you. Would your parents really object, just because he is North Indian and you are from the South. You would also have to work through being hindu and christian. When I was young, I was Christian and went to Catholic schools, but I always preferred being hindu, because I like going to temple and interacting with other hindus. One thing I don't like about us Indians is that they are too gossipy and like to talk bad of others too much to make themselves look better.

One last thing before I go, do you East Indians still do arranged marriages, whereby your parents pick the person you're going to marry? That's what I'm guessing, or else they would never approve of people that their children find on their own leaving them single and lonely. I suppose me and Ruchika could have snuck around and hope that we didn't get caught, but I didn't want to risk getting kild over this girl.

You know that is the problems with Indians. I read this article in the papers that the Malaysian government is lowering their requirements for indian nationals to invest and obtain PR status over here and for me that is a terrible mistake to do. The indians here have to a certain extent matured and become more tolerant.
The indians from india would bring their narrow minded views brought about from centuries of oppresion. Their misguided views would be forced upon the rest of the indians and non indians thus further disgracing the native Indians here in Malaysia.We have gone through a LOT over here, racial descrimination, treated as 3rd class citizens and now we are faced with this new threat. There is this saying, a CHinese will always help another Chinese but an Indian will try to bring down another Indian. All a matter of pride.
Every other race, be it the Caucassions, CHinese, Africans all adapt well to their new surroundings, all except the Indians. We have come so far but yet we let our ego, lack of self esteem, and un-Hindu views cloud our judgements. CHange with times and perhaps we can change with our children.

My grandmother, who was part Indian, was born in the 1800's. She had a lot of strange beliefs. Whenever I told her about a girl I was interested in, she would bring up Nationality or religion. I could never understand her point of view. If two ADULT people truly love each other, nothing much else matters. If it separates their entire family, so be it. The old folks will eventually be gone with their ideas and the two of you will be left fending for yourselves. Do you want to be your own person...to be independent; or live oppressed forever by someone else's old fashioned rules?
What's really important....is that we believe in ourselves as good human beings...to do what we feel is good and right; and to never pass down, obviously antiquated and uneducated points of view, to our innocent children; to give children the right to make clear life decisions using common sense and intelligence. This is the very least we can do to try to correct the wrongs of the past.... which sometimes separate cities or entire nations.
We no longer use crank up telephones, washboards or double ringer washing machines or drive Model T's ( most of us)...they are obviously outdated with much more modern inventions. We use the latest conveniences. So, in this same light, why should we guide our lives with outdated or foolish misconceptions based on antiquated beliefs of the past? The world has changed...we all need to adjust to make it better.

Gregorio,
I do agree with you- don't get me wrong, but there are things that we know that do not change. Women still bear babies, and babies needs have changed very little over time. The equipment we use to provide their needs have changed, but not the intent. Marriage is different though. Marriage has changed over time. For most of time there was no such thing as marriage.In history marriage is a fairly new concept - and I don't think we have it right yet. Interestingly enough, when I read your words to me they speak to the nonsense of religion- any religion. To me to use a book written a thousand or more years ago to lead you to choices you make today under completely different circumstances makes no sense. I can understand using religion as a guide - the books as records of past experiences -but to me it seems as if each person has to analyze their life situation and make sense of it given all the possible input they can use. The choice is theirs.
Susan

my prents know better then put me through an arranged marriage. they know that 1. i would never in my life agree to it. 2. that their arranged marriage never wrked well.

my parents dont get along well. sometime si truly wish they never got married because they would be so much happier. but then i wouldnt be born so there's no pnt of wishing that. my mom...even thought she doesnt believe in me dating has told me that after college i should go looking for somoene that i can marry. i guess in a sense thats "liberal" for a malayalee. no clay, they would like my boyfriend. my family is devoutly christian and in would be a dishonor for a hindu to enter the fmaily for them. i wish it was different but well see what happens.

i just wanted to say to anonymous, i know i shouldnt have taken it too offensively because it's juts ur opinion and that how you feel, but since i'm indian i can't let that go cuz it kinda hit deep. not all indians are there to put other indians down. i say this because i know i;m not like that and i'm disgusted by the ppl in my race that do. remember when i was telling u about the next generation indians raised here, i garentee you we wont be like that. We're too i guess "americanized" for sumthin like that.

good luck wiht that family friend of yours clay. Also about the girl from your university...maybe there's somethin else to her story maybe there isn;t...you never truly know what the other person is thinking. i think you should forget her, because if anything is supposed to happen, it will happen. if it doesnt, i doesnt. just move on with your life im a big believer in fate.

I believe religion has evolved thru time from superstition.
Let me explain....
Example: Years ago, when the sky clouded, lightning flashed and thundered, people shuttered and said the Gods were mad. It was written down.
Today we know it's static positive and negative electricity.
Example:
Years ago,when a very good friend passed away for no apparent reason, it was said that God has asked for him to join him in Heaven. It was written down.
Today, we know he had a heart attack from a clogged circulatory system.
Example:
When it became dark, mystical beings roamed the earth. It was written down.
Today, we know many animals hunt at night for food.
And so on.
Superstition ...for lack of a better explaination.
People still run around throwing salt over their shoulder. The older folks carry more of this superstition and you hear them recite the various words often.... like "Tragedy happens in three's." And others I've heard.
And the rule book was written and rewritten on information like the above mostly from SHEEPHERDERS superstitions. They had a lot of time to write...to observe the strange world of phenomenons they couldn't explain...to explain the death of their brothers.
Susan... your right in saying...the rule book is old because you look at life as I do, in a logical manner.. should we still guide our life by it? The world has changed.
However,
...let me make it clear that I DO NOT have anything against anyone's religion...not yours, not anybody's...it's an individual's right and should be exercised if desired..
(each person has the right to worship as they please and to form whatever beliefs they wish)....but in the rare event religion should embarass, annoy, inconvenience or cost me money...then I care. That would include insistant, rude people knocking on my door of any faith....to people using it as a "crutch" to guide their every little move in public.... to acts of religious guided terrorism on our country or any country..

Gregorio

Couldn't agree with you more.

When I lived in England I appreciated truly for the first time in my life the meaning of the separation of church and state. It was the only thing about living there that was a constant problem for me,

During this US presidential season the separation of church and state has been muddied. I have grave difficulty with a president who forces his religious beliefs upon it citiizenry in regards to abortion, pornography, gay marriage, stem cell research, and more. To me it is of no matter what he believes personally - these are not issues to which our constitution was designed to address using religious based values. These issues can be addressed using objective data driven information - it is difficult to separate ourselves from our religious values, but recently there seem to be no attempt to do that at all.

Susan

I too also believe in fate to an extent. I also believe that God helps those who help themselves. Having said that, I want to thank you again Amrita for your insightful comments into my situation. I really appreciated hearing it from someone who knows what we have to go through. I want to be a good Indian person and eventually marry a nice Indian girl that I can go to temple and other such places and be proud of who I am. I don't regret being born West Indian, except that my love life has suffered greatly. I could always hook-up with a white or black girl to get some dating/sexual experience, but I won't do that, because I know that I wouldn't be proud of myself and it wouldn't mean much.

I really hope things go good with my friend Neetu. I'm going to tell her how I feel about her in about two weeks. I'll keep everyone posted on how it unfolds. I would like to hear how things go with your boyfriend and your parents Amrita. I really hope it works out for you. I'm kind of surprised how many Indians from India are Christian. I used to think that they we're mostly Hindu like me. I'm sorry to hear that your parents don't get along. My parents have been married for about 30 years now (not arranged), and they have their ups and downs, but they usually work things out. I doubt that they have sex anymore; they pretty much just live like best friends.

I don't plan on sending that Punjabi girl from my school any more emails as she has made it clear that she doesn't want to hear from me.