I was wondering how long does it take after having oral sex with a girl to check if i contracted anything from her? I want to go for a blood test to find out.

It depends on the type of sexually transmitted disease you think you might have gotten.

HIV
It take 45 days in general to test positive for HIV. But it can take as long as one year. So if you think she might have HIV take a test now and then another in six weeks, another in six months, and another in a year. The sooner you test postive the sooner you can get treatment.

It has taken as long as 11 years for HIV to turn into AIDS. And yes you can get HIV from oral sex.

HEPATITIS C
It can take up to six months for it to test positive. But it usually will show up in 2 weeks. So take a test now and in six months.

CHLAMYDIA and GONORRHEA ( Epidemic among teenagers who have oral sex)
You can get tested immediately, but it may not test positive until three weeks after exposure. You may have no symptoms. You may never have symptoms but it can stil be damaging your body. So if you are worried- get tested. Be sure they do a swab test of your mouth and not just a blood test.

STDs from oral sex is SOMEWHAT preventable.

If you are a man receiving oral sex you should have a condom on. An unlubricated condom. They come in flavors for women who dislike the taste of condoms. If a woman has an STD she can give a guy some STDs through oral sex. A woman who is giving oral sex can get even more STDs than the guy can.

If you are a woman receiving oral sex - you should insist on using a dental dam. A dental dam is a flat piece of plastic the guy puts over the area he wants to lick/suck. You can also use saran wrap/cling film or cut down the side of a condom to make it flat. Woman can get STDs from guys thru oral sex. Guys are at even bigger risk from gettinng STDS from girls from oral sex.

If you have sex with more than one person- or that person has sex with more than one person - or you don't know their sexual history ---it is really stupid to have oral sex without a condom/ dental dam - NO MATTER WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS IN HOW IT FEELS. Have sex as safely as you can becasue your life might depend upon it!

Susan

ok susan, i know that you know what you are talking about, but really whats the point? Getting oral sex while using a condom or dental dam, kind of ruins the fun. Shouldn't the person find someone that is trustworthy and have more pleasure, instead of messing around with random people?

Derek,

I agree 100%, BUT...... How many people are really honest about whether they are having sex with other people? How many people are really honest about their sexual history?

A 15 year old girl has sex and then regrets it. So she doesn't have sex again until she has her first serious boyfriend when she is 17. All this time she has had an STD and doesn't even know it. She has no symptoms she recognizes as STD symptoms. She tells her boyfriend she is disease-free. She passes on the STD to him. He has no symptoms They break up after 2 months. He has sex with a new girlfriend after one month. He still has no symptoms. He passes it on to her. She does get symptoms of the STD she got from his old girlfriend. But she doesn't know whether she got it from her old boyfriend or her new boyfriend or the guy she had sex with once between boyfriends. Neither boyfriend has any symptoms so she assumes she got it from the guy she had sex with once.
She gets tested, she gets treated, and then crosses her fingers that her new boyfriend didn't get it and won't find out. But he does get it and is another guy who doesn't get symptoms for a long time. So the scenario goes on and on and on.

The once 15 year old girl who started it all still has no idea she has an STD. She remains symptom free for 3 years when she a horrible pain. She has had chlamydia for all these years and now has a very serious ecoptic pregnancy. There are allso literally dozens of people who now have chlamydia because she passed it on to one guy.

So that is the worst case scenario---but it is all too often true!!!

Susan

I would think that using a dental dam or some other barrier method would make it quite pointless to even perform in the first place. Isn't it just better not to do it at all?

If the person is good at what they do there is still a point to it---a very good one!!!!

I think that the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease is the most important reason that I don't have sex. If people were cleaner then I would be more intrested in it. But with all of the risks involved, its probably best to wait until getting married or engaged. But sometimes it gets really frustrating being a virgin.

Clay,

I thought you had had sex? Just not sexual intercourse. Or haven;t you done anything yet?

Staying a virgin is a personal decision and if that is the choice you want to make I am all for it. What happens if you never find anyone you want to marry?

Susan

The truth is, I have never had sex of any sort and I never had the chance to even kiss a girl. Now, I have known this nice hindu girl for about 4 years now. She is a good friend of mine and my family is very close to their family. I am hoping that in a few years that we will get married, because we're quite compatible, from what I know of her. The thing is that I don't know how to best tell her that we would be good together. I don't want to spoil our friendship. Any suggestions?

Does your and her family believe in arranged marriages????

i think its good that you are saving your self for one special person because it means so much more when you do with that one person.

Our families in general don't really believe in arranged marriages in the same way that they used to do it in India, where people were forced to get married with other people at the request of their parents. What we do now, is that our parents or other relatives might introduce us to family friends or people they meet at some point, say at temple. Most people though just find their own boyfriend/girlfriend on their own though.

well do her parents know your parents and this mint be a way to find out idshe is at all interested.

Thats just the thing Susan. My family and her familiy have grown very close over the past 4 years. They usually have religious gatherings at their home every month and we go to some of them. I really like her parents and I know that they like me and I hope that one day they will be my inlaws. Her name is Neetu and right now we are just close friends. My dilema is that since our families are so close that if I persue a relationship with her now and if I screw it up, I'll lose the friendship with her and possibly her family, which I don't want. What should I do?

Clay
You need to decide which is more important to you - friendship or a wife.
If having a wife and Neetu as your wife is more important - than you have to risk the friendship. Otherwise she may find someone else.
Susan

I think that she was with some other guy before, but I'm not sure if she is seeing someone now. If it turns out that she is with someone now, would you recommend that I still try to hook up with her? I doubt that she will be getting married any time soon, because like me, she is very close with her family and I don't think she is ready to move out with some dude.

Clay,

If you aren't sure she has a guy now you can't be that good of friends. So I think you should work on being better friends with her.

Susan

Thanks for the tips Susan. I think I'll keep hinting to her that I like her and casually mention to her that I want to be with her the next time I get the chance. I hope it works out better with her than it did with this girl I met at university.

Yes, i think it's great that you are willing to wait for someone special. I mix with a lot of people, from white collar professional to blue colours due to the nature of my work and i can tell you most men out there are just looking for a good time and don't really care which hole they stick it in. Just be sure to continue your love and devotion even after marriage and try not to take things for granted. Its easy to do when in a relationship. I suppose before all of us get into a relationship we should write on a piece of paper our values and what and how we care for the relationship and every now and then we take that paper and see how far we have deviated from it.

There is a really great book I recommend to people who are in serious relationships and are thinking about marriage.

Meditations & Exercises for Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0671868837/qid=/sr=/ref=cm_lm_asin/102-5029430-0094511?v=glance

You may not want to do it all - but I found some of the exercises extremely enlightening. I learned things about myself I didn't know and I certainly learned things about the person I loved.
Susan

Susan, do you like to meditate? I sure do. I like meditating for an hour or so before I go to sleep. I find that it really eases any built up tension and stresses plus allows me to contemplate and introspect on different things.

Clay
I don't meditate - but I masturbate each night before bed and then I am ponder the universe in a half dream/ half orgasmic bliss state.
Susan

Susan...I think you got a great site and you do a great job.
I think answering questions for inquiring minds provides a great service and helps guide those who are confused about sex.
I know answers to some questions involve personal experience.
However, I do not think that you should be giving out personal, private information displayed openly to the world...especially to people you do not know or are "playing you".... as in your last post and many others. Would you give out this info to anybody on the street, face to face?
I think certain things are sacred and very personal and should remain as such. I believe your integrity, self-image and self respect are involved ..
A general answer might have worked just as well. For instance, " My studies show that many girls masturbate just before falling asleep putting them in a dreamy state." or "I understand semen tastes salty or bitter or sour" would keep it much less personal and still do the job. Why does anybody have a right to find out things about your personal life? However, that's just my meager, personal opinion. You can feel free to tell me I'm all wet, too square, too naive, where to get off the bus or not to respond at all.

Lols...are you serious? Is it some kind of tantric thingy or a susan thingy? where do i sign up for enlightenment?
;)

Well Gregorio I see where you are cominng from, but I have been blessed with an exceptionally good life with many varied sexual experiences and that the knowledge I have gained thru them is part of what I share here. But I have also been blessed with a good brain and I can research any question on the net I don't have experience with easily. So while I appreciate your comments - I think what i do separates what I do from other similar but very different sites.

Susan

It's a woman thing.

I doubt if there is anyone on the web who can explain it any better than you. I continue to read your posts and I'm astounded.
I just wish this site was around when I was a teen...it would have made a huge difference...maybe life changing.

For your information "Gregario," I wasn't playing Susan or anything like that. She suggested a book on meditation and exercises, so I was curious if she was into meditation like I am.

Susan, I like to masterbate before I go to sleep too. On very rare occasions, I have experienced a sort of half sleep, half dream state, and those are scary.

Thank you Gregorio.

I too wish there had been somebody around like me when I was young. I was one of those people with an STD without symptoms and had it for a long time before I found out. I was raped when I was young and never told anyone because I thought it was my fault. ( And a part of me will always think that - no matter how much I know intellectually that is not true.)

I never had any STD symptoms that I recognized. When I had sex for the first time because I wanted to when I was in college - I passed on a STD and found out that way. I had told the guy I was a virgin (because in some very real ways I was) -and then he gets an STD from me. How embarrassing is that! And even worse than that- the medical department sent a post card to my parent's house telling me I needed to come in for an exam and my parents found out.

I started this site because I have a son I did not want to be as ignorant about sex as I was - and I couldn't find any place for him to get information that I thought he needed.

Susan

Clay

Scary? Well I guess if you are not used to them they could be scary. But I would be quite content to live the rest of my life in that state.

Susan

When I went for a blood test a while ago, they told me the incubation period was 3 months. It seems to vary really.

http://www.stdresource.com/concern/c1_d_3_a.php

>HIV
>It take 45 days in general to test positive for HIV. But it can >take as long as one year. So if you think she might have HIV >take a test now and then another in six weeks, another in six >months, and another in a year. The sooner you test postive the >sooner you can get treatment.

Yes, the average incubation period is 3 months. Which means it takes 3 months from the time you get the disease for the disease to cause you a change in your blood. But it can test positive as early as 2 weeks if the strain of the virus is very strong and a fast moving kind. This is why people need t take the test more than once. Diseases do no pay attention to calendars.