I did a very stupid thing and at the heat of the moment. I really messed up.

Yesterday me and my boyfriend were really in the mood and we decided to have sex and being stupid we didn't use protection and even though he plugged it when he came in me...we still did it after he plugged it. I am scared and nervous more because I just ended my period 2 days ago. I know you are more likely to get pregnant after your period. ugh. I messed up and now I am in a loss for words. I am confused and not sure what to do. My friends said I should wait till my next period and take a pregnancy test and so fourth. I am scared and nervous and feel stupid. I messed up. This time bad and I don't know what to do now??

what happens?

Kristen,

I am not going to tell you what you did is not stupid because it is. But that's the end of that.

You need to educate yourself about your body and about sex and about pregnancy. Do you want to have an abortion or be pregnant for 9 months now? If not you have to stop allowing yourself to get carried away in the moment.

First you are wrong. Right after your menstrual period is when you are the least likely to get pregnant. But it is far from not possible.

So now you have to wait - in ten days you can take an over the counter pregnancy test. If it is positive - you are pregnant. If you are pregnant you need to go see a doctor right away - and the doctor will retest you. Then you need to make some very hard decisions quickly.

If it is negative you are PROBABLY not pregnant. Pregnancy tests are not always right when they are negative (but they are usually right when they are positive.) So until you have your next period I would not completely relax.

Next go out and buy condoms. Make it a rule that you always use them, There are no good excuses not to use them.

If you and your boyfriend cannot agree to ALWAYS agree to use condoms - then you better have a discussion about what you are going to do when you get pregnant - because the odds are you will get pregnant.

Are you going to keep the baby? Who is going to support the baby? Are you going to get married? Who isn't going to go to college/ school or get a job and stay home with the baby?

Are you going to have an abortion? Who is going to pay for it? Are you going to tell your parents? Who will take care of you after the abortion when you are feeling awful and probably can't take car of yourself?

Are you going to give the baby up for adoption? Do you both agree to this? Will it be an open or closed adoption?

That's just the beginning of the questions you need to ask yourself if you are going to keep having sex without protection.

Good luck. Please let me know how things turn out.
Susan

You could try the "morning after pill" to prevent any chance of pregnancy if you are certain that you don't want a baby. Make sure to use protection next time so that you won't be in this mess again. Good luck.

Wait im confused.. is it safer to have sex after your period or before?

It is safeR to have it after than before. The 5 days before a period and the first day of it are the most unsafe days.

Susan

Thanks.
I finally got the courage to tell my mom. She is very angry with me, but she realizes being angry with me wont take back what happened and wont make anything easier. My mom decided if all in all I am pregnant I will be responsible and have the baby. I am adopted and I don't think I could put myself to give my baby up for adoption considering I would hate for my baby to go their whole life looking for their mother...I did that and I hate everything about it. I would never ever in a million years consider abortion. I take resposiblity for my actions no matter the case. I am sure these next 2 weeks will be rough, but I am mature enough to take it like an adult rather then mourn on what could happen. Sure I will have to grow up faster then anticipated, but I made a mistake and I'll go through it no matter the hardtimes. My mom will be here for me through everything and help me through it. My friends will be here and help me as well. Then my boyfriend who is being as mature as I am is supporting me and helping me deal and holding my hand through the scare. We decided not to have sex without a condom we even went out and bought a box of 20 and his mom got him a box of 44 to make us feel better. I realize my stupidy and what I did and even though I could keep yelling at myself about it all I can do is keep my head up high and whatever happens I'll learn from it.

Kristen,
It sounds like you are being very mature about this. But I want to suggest you rethink adoption. My son is also adopted. He doesn't know his birthMom, but I met her on several occassions and have been able to tell him about her. His adoption was not an open adoption so we are not still in touch.

There are adoptions called open adoptions. These are adoptions where you get to pick the family or person who will become the parent/s of your child. (My son's mom agreed to me.)

Then you can have whatever kind of relationship with your child you agree to. Sometimes it means you are a treasured member of the family and see the child as often as you want. Other times you see the child only on special holidays. With others you just get letters and photos about your child and when they are older get to meet them.

Adoption can be a very happy, healthy situation for you, your boyfriend, and your child. I understand it hasn't been for you - but adoption has changed a lot in the past decade.

Please think about it.
Susan