To Clay...You have got me so confused. Every issue has several views...most people take just one.
First, you say you are a 23? year old virgin and saving yourself for a lady, which is absolutely fine and admirable...... because you are afraid of getting stds, hiv etc. ( glad your concerned...wish more youngsters were) Then, on other posts, of which you make many sometimes questionable comments, you describe how you have had sex the best
( yesterday), or comment on issues only a person that has actually had intercourse could..... negatively impacting your credibility, questioning your sexual cognizance and impacting major decisions of readers on this site looking for the qualified information that Susan already provides. . (Virgin, in case you are unaware, usually means that you have never had sexual intercourse)...(by definition, you can masturbate and still be a virgin) So, I'm obviously confused as are others...are these comments fantasy driven? apparitions?..please explain. Also,in this same disturbing light, are you, in any possible, remote way, related to candidate Kerry?

My dearest Gregorio,

Well said except that last line! Lets not get too deep into poltics- but to me Kerry is a person who has been willing to look at facts as they change and come to different conclusions when his initial assessment of a situation has been proven wrong - or just evolved differently than expected. Bush to me is unwilling to rethink that which he has done- he is committed, but to a fault.

Susan

I think what clay is doing is amazing. He highligths exactly the different perceptions and understanding that everyone has. He is perhaps not of the majority in his views but somehow the way the majority perceives things is skeward by his standards and he can give a totally different albeit a little extreme perspective. I suppose thats why we would always have laws 'cos we can't always assume others will think like we do.
Christianity started as one religion but broke off to different followers who understand it in different ways, ISlam has the same followings so does Buddhism, Hinduism and even now Yoga. Everything branches off from what it was supposed to be in the start.
I have met people like Clay before and he could just be a guy or a girl that loves to provoke others just so he could get a response from them. They say extreme things just so they would know someone would pay them attention and after a time they too would start to think in such extremities. is it bad or good? I don't know but at least it keeps some of us on our toes and not to take things so blindly. When we are complacent that is when we make mistakes.
Susan is right to censor some of his post which could be detrimental and the objective of this site is to educate and help and not be a forum where dangerous views are discussed freely. Someone just might interprete wrongly to dire consequences.

Didn't mean to rattle your cage. Politics and religion.... you know.
Susan...we all want the same things in life..freedom, security, financial freedom, freedom of speech, peace etc.
How this all happens is a matter of personal choice and really is private. There is no need to divulge personal preferences...
which is why there are booths at voting halls. I take none of it seriously......it's life.

First of all, thank you Gregorio and Anonymous for your comments. As you mentioned Gregorio, I am 23 and still a virgin and plan to remain that way for a few more years at least. I don't recall saying something like "how I like having sex the best," as this implies that I have already had sex. It may have been in reference to a sexual position in a porno that I saw. And no, I am not related to Kerry nor am I American, I'm Canadian.

Now for Anonymous' comments. I am glad that you find what I'm doing amazing. I think you're right in saying that I am probably in a minority with some of my views, homosexuality and interracial couples, being some of them. I haven't been posting these messages to deliberately provoke Susan or anyone else for that matter, like Bjorn might be doing. I just like to add my perspective on some of the issues discussed here. Maybe I have been a bit too extreme in some of my posts and for that I apologize for. I will also try to be clearer to avoid any future confusion.

Clay...please let me refresh your memory about having sex...

Clay ....You wrote the following:


Hey Susan, what is your favourite sexual position? Are there some positions that gives the girl more pleasure?For me, that is when I start having sex, I would prefer having my girl on top as opposed to me being on top. I really don't like the missionary position (male on top).

Q.Have you tried this? How could you positively prefer any position? Many girls like it on top ..they get more pleasure and like being in "the drivers seat". Other girls like the missionary position. Others on the side. Others end to end. Others in an "x" fashion. Etc
But, you got to try it before you can honestly comment on it.


You wrote: I think its just for amatuers, plus it makes it seem like the girl is being forced into having sex.

Q. Forced? Amateur? How so? Maybe thats her favorite position.
Q. How would you know this? At what point does one become professional? Give me a clue. Am I an amateur?

You wrote: I also like back to front positions, since the feeling of hips grinding together is (present tense) quite unpleasant.

Q. How would you know this? Are you sure? What grinding? Tell me more. I've had 37 years of marriage, experienced intercourse thousands of times, lots of positions and no GRINDING yet. Am I doing it wrong? Grinding? My imagination runs wild.... from a closet laboratory skeleton to a semi- petrified rubber doll..
Grinding?

The last sentence, written in present tense, leads me, and others, to believe that you have somehow, possibly accidently experienced some form of sexual intercourse which, by the way, is perfectly okay.

I was speaking from a theoretical point of view Gregorio. Like I said before, I haven't had sex yet. Whether you believe me or not, I really don't care. I should have been more clearer in my posts so you and others wouldn't get the wrong impression.

Clay,

What Gregorio said is true. It is part of why I have deleted some of your posts or edited them. You offer facts based on your thoughts - but not actual experiences. Sometimes what you think is what you think and that is OK - but other times you mix your thoughts with the idea that they are the way you will actually experience them- and you have no idea if that is true or not. ( Like hips grinding - the only time that happens if both people are EXTREMELY skinny. )

Susan

Sorry Clay...you are an important part of this forum and you seem to have really good values. If I made a mistake, I truly apologize. I tend to get carried away.
What you NEVER asked Susan is how you could protect yourself from diseases and start having safe intercourse....since this seems to be your primary reason for not having sex. She can advise you of questions to ask your date etc.
You are passing thru or have just passed thru your sexual peak and should have been or should be most active..
I stayed a virgin till age 22...something I always regretted. The pressure, pain and frustration were overwheming. It affected me emotionally, physically and mentally. I developed a stomach ulcer. I became very sick. Basically, I missed those years of my life shaded with confusion all because of antiquated ideas from my parents, lack of information and absense of positive advice. When I finally had intercourse, I became mad at my parents and wouldn't speak to them. I never knew what it was or how good. At least, you can ask Susan. That's what makes this forum so great and so important for everybody. Play safe.

Greqerio wrote:

> I stayed a virgin till age 22...something I always
> regretted. The pressure, pain and frustration were
> overwheming. It affected me emotionally, physically and
> mentally. I developed a stomach ulcer. I became very sick.

Man ... you're describing exactly how it feels for me (I'm 22). It's hell.

You understood precisely, understood more than I thought possible what I'm going through.

Nick

Good to see you again Nick. I'm 23 and still a virgin. Now I'll admit that I would like to have a decent girlfriend and haven't been able to find one yet. But surprisingly, unlike you and Gregorio, I'm not dying to have sex. I know that you have a physical condition that limits the movement of your body and I'm sure that is very frustrating for you. Maybe I'm just different than most people in that way. I don't place a high emphasis on sex. My buddy (who has had sex) has told me that sex wasn't all that great for him either, which I found surprising.

Now for Gregorio, how did you manage to have a stomach ulcer when you were 22? Was it from constantly hoping that you were going to have sex with a girl? I just don't get it. Life isn't all about sex.

That's the way it is Clay.

Clay you are completely wrong! Life is all about sex. If you pass up everything else in the world - the money, the religion, the politics- it all comes down to sex. With out sex people wouldn't survive. (which the homosexual community might have trouble getting around) When it all comes down to it, sex was made pleasurable for a reason.
Now I could rave on and on about but my opinions, but sadly i am afraid that Susan would edit me out.
By the way I am 17 and yes I am currently having sex. Judge me how you will, I have no regrets with what I am doing and like Susan I put my real name on the board.

Clay you are completely wrong! Life is all about sex. Without sex there is not life. If you pass up everything else in the world - the money, the religion, the politics- it all comes down to sex. With out sex people wouldn't survive. (which the homosexual community might have trouble getting around) When it all comes down to it, sex was made pleasurable for a reason.
I could rave on and on about but my opinions but sadly i am afraid that Susan would edit me out.
By the way I am 17 and yes i am currently having sex. Judge me how you will, I have no regrets with what i am doing and like Susan, I put my real name on the board.

P.S. i posted this before with being logged on but i can't wait so here it is

I appreciate your honesty Derek on how you view the world, but how can you honestly believe that life is all about sex? Granted, when you meet the right person and feel comfortable enough and responsible enough then by all means, but there has to be more to life than sex. Otherwise, if all we did was have sex all the time, wouldn't that make us animals? What seperates us from the rest of the animal kingdom is that we were given the capacity to think and use our minds to make wise decisions, not to engage in as much sex as we possibly can.

It's caring for someone else, sharing life's good and bad times; doing things together; treating that person with respect; giving of yourself; being that person's very best friend...being true...being honest...and much more...that's all very important. Most people call it love. Sex really should be the prize for doing all the above; not just a rush of 2 bodies to get naked. Sex without love would be rather cold I imagine...love makes the difference between animals and humans. Sex is how MOST of us got here. Right time, right place, right person, right reason and with protection.

Dude, Clay, seriously...

Dude, you're extremely confused and contradictory, which brings us back to the orginal subject.

You're contradictory big-time. You're confused as hell man. You're conflicted between your true feelings and the conservative ideology you have. And you've got ADD or something so don't remember previous posts you or I or others have made.

So many conflicts you have.

1. Interracial Marriage.

a) you repeatedly state you are against interracial marriage. you repeatedly state you would only marry a Hindi girl.

b) you state you are not from India but Guyana, only your grandparents were Indian. Doesn't this mean you yourself could be considered interracial? would you marrying a Hindi be interracial marriage?

The lines of ethnicity are not clear at all. I am part Jewish, German, Scot-Irish, French and more. Am I interracial? If I marry an Italian or Swede or Indian or Pole, is that interracial?

2. Homosexuality

a) you repeatedly state you are against homosexuality.

b) you make an anal sex toy and use it, want it to be "lifelike."

I don't know if you're gay, I can't make that assumption with as little info as I have. That's not what I'm saying at all. But I know you're insecure that your friends think you're gay, you've posted concerns on this repeatedly. And this fear (called internalized homophobbia - fear of your internal gayness) I think is conciously or subconciously fueling your strong opposition of homosexuality.

3. Focus on sex.

a) in your most recent post, you say "I don't place a high emphasis on sex," and "I just don't get it. Life isn't all about sex."

b) you state earlier you think of sex all the time. you spend a huge amount of time making posts on a site about sex, you comment on a huge range of sexual issues on a daily basis and you watch porn and anal masturbate. If that's not an emphasis on sex I don't know what is.

Me, you, most every human being on planet earth are focused on sex. It's just an indelible part of human nature, and it is totally normal and okay. Feeling insecure is okay. It's all okay man. Relax, pull back, and reevaluate everything.

I think you're just a normal guy, struggling and learning and questioning and insecure and normal. You're intelligent. Also like any other young male, unsure. And you, like the rest of us, are here for support on sexual issues. This is all totally normal and cool.

Just relax, this is here for everyone and I will help you anyway I can. Susan too. We all care about helping.

Peace,

Nick

Nick you'r talking about that your confused about Clay doing gay things. Well you have alot to learn if you think that your gay when you analplay! It is something that can be done by both homo & hetero people.
Homo's are bound to it when they want to proper penetrate there partners in the situation of men. Hetero's are not but can surely do it without being gay.
Well yes he anal masturbates himself and its not something i would do, but that doesn't make him gay. Its just a way to learn about his sexuality and have plasure doing it.

"Just relax, this is here for everyone and I will help you anyway I can. Susan too. We all care about helping."

Well that is something you can't do apperantly. As said by the all-mighty Gregorio - that you cant interfere and let the expert Susan figure it out.
In the 'how can i get an orgasm' post, me and Clay wanted to help Nicole. We cared about here and here quistion. We helped her, but Don't, because Master Gregorio, wont aloud it.

HELLO GREGARIO! ITS A FORUM, THAT MEANS THAT EVERYONE CAN READ THE POSTS AND EVERYONE CAN ANSWER. THIS IS THE PLACE WERE YOU CAN TALK ABOUT SEX: NICOLE WAS, I WAS AND CLAY WAS!

Bjorn

Very detailed and thorough evaluation of the messages that I have posted Nick. You deserve an "A" for your efforts. Nicely done.

Well said Bjorn. Thank you for your support and not saying that I'm gay for anal-masterbating. You should give it a try just to see how it feels. If you do it properly, it honestly feels many times better than simple jacking off and the orgasms are much powerful.

I don't know why Gregorio doesn't want us giving information to people who want it. People post on this forum to talk about sex and sexual issues. Like you said, we tried to help that girl Nicole when she wanted to know how to have an orgasm, but the all-knowing Gregorio thought that maybe she was a young girl and wasn't ready for orgasms. The way I see it, if she wants to know, and she has every right to know, then we should help.

So what's your response to it?

Well Nick, you want my response to your analysis of me, here it is bro. First of all you say that I am extremely confused and contradictory as hell. You even stated that you think that I may have ADD. I am not confused at all. I know exactly what kind of girl I want to be with and won't stop looking until I find her. Love makes the world go round, not mere sex.

You then say that I want to marry a Hindu girl, because I am against interracial marriages, which I am. My parents are from Guyana, but originated from India, so I don't consider myself interracial at all. I may not come from India, but I'm still an Indian Nick. I just don't plan on dating or marrying a black, white, chinese etc. girl, because my family and relatives would never accept her and would probably mock us.

Next you go on and discuss my views on homosexuality. I've repeatedly stated that I am against homosexuality and I always will be. Just because I like playing with a dildo, doesn't make me a fag. I don't ever plan on having sex with another man nor do I have the desire to. Susan even agreed with me on that one. I used to think that maybe I could be bisexual, but I doubt it. The reason I don't like homosexuals (males mostly) is because they act wierd and talk wierd and are too "in your face" like in the gay pride parades. They're turning Toronto into the gay capital of the world, which used to be Sanfrancisco.

Finally, when I said that I don't place a high emphasis on sex, I meant that I don't really care about having sex. I like to masterbate, watch porn and post messages on this forum. I guess I like to think about sex and discuss it. I also don't think that I'm insecure about "internalized homophobia" as you put it.

Nick, you should post some more updated threads on how things are going in your life. I used to like reading your stories as I found them quite inspiring. We're all here to help eachother and I'll try to be more accepting of others and not judge people too harshly. I look forward to reading your updated messages.

Peace.

Good grief dude.... I never said you're gay, you saw where I wrote "That's not what I'm saying at all." You read that right?

Clay...you missed the point. Using logic, Nicole wanted to know how to have an orgasm. Susan would say to stimulate herself to see if she got one...which is the first logical thing to try. If so, teach your boyfriend how. If she didn't, oral sex probably wouldn't help...she is probably not ready yet. If she had asked about oral sex...okay, but she didn't. You gotta walk before you can run. Do you finally see the reasoning? If you don't believe this, do a search and read Susan's answer to similar questions. I don't need to cause I have read and remember her answers.

Here is the proof:
From Susan......
Re: cant reach orgasim Thread! on Jul 29, 2004 7:32 PM
Jessica, If you can reach an orgasm thru masturbation- then teach your boyfriend to do the same thing. Lots of women have to teach the men they have sex with what to do. Susan

Now do you see?

Clay You wrote on Sept 22, 2 days ago!

Next you go on and discuss my views on homosexuality. I've repeatedly stated that I am against homosexuality and I always will be. Just because I like playing with a dildo, doesn't make me a FAG.(offensive word and offensive implication) I don't ever plan on having sex with another man nor do I have the desire to. Susan even agreed with me on that one. I used to think that maybe I could be bisexual, but I doubt it. The reason I don't like homosexuals (males mostly) is because (sensitive description) they act wierd and talk wierd and are too "in your face" like in the gay pride parades. They're turning Toronto into the gay capital of the world, which used to be Sanfrancisco.

Sept 24- From Gregorio
Below is a copy of Susan's comments on July 27. It has only been a very short time and you have already forgotten her advice. I remembered it...why can't you? You are stepping on peoples toes using inappropriate language and offensive description even though you probably don't mean to, and you're just trying to defend your position.. but please think before you post. These people have many of the same rights you do, like it or not.
Gregorio


Re: What makes gays gay
July 27 2004 at 10:35 AM Susan (Premier Login Xuxan)
Forum Owner
from IP address 68.21.44.163


Response to Re: What makes gays gay

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Susan wrote:
Clay,

I realize you are ignorant on this topic, but you have got to CLEAN UP YOUR LANGUAGE or you are not going to be able to post here. Calling a person a homo is equally offensive as FAG.


Susan

I have been thinking, though and homosexuality may be an option

How dare you impersonate me with your homosexual post?