my gf and i have kinky sex alot and it's fun, but she is always the sub one..e she says she has no interest in being domme. i like dom but i think i'd like to sub more. how can i get her to tie me up and make me do things?
Some people are Dom, some people are sub, and some people are switch, and soe eare none of the above. You are evidently a switch- and unless your girlfriend is too--not much you can do except ask her and hope she does it just for the fun of it.
I thought for a very long time that I was only submissive, but a year back, I decided to try new things and have a more dominating presence in the bedroom. It was such a new and empowering thing for me, and now I would venture to say I'm more often Dom.
You and your girlfriend have obviously been open to trying new things, judging from the kinkiness that you have mentioned. As long as it doesn't hurt anybody (too much *wink*), trying new things is a great way to enhance your sex-life.
I'm not sure how intense of a dom you want your girlfriend to be. I could imagine that coercing a girlfriend to step on your scrotum with high-heels might be difficult. If your aspirations are set a little lower than that, you may be able to convince your girlfriend to try it out on a trial basis. Tell her that you're curious about it, and that you really want to feel what it's like to be in the position that she normally takes.
Sit down and talk to her about it. Tell her you want to try a couple things you've never done before and want to experience it with her. Ask her to dominate. You'd be very surprised at how open-minded most girls are.
You and your girlfriend should watch some BDSM shows like "Kink." That will give you some other ideas and maybe make her open to being the dominant one. Personally, I don't understand how people can enjoy tieing eachother up or nearly asphixiating their lover for pleasure. Real love is not involve kinky sex.
Clay - Your opinion is that real love does not involve kinky sex - but millions and millions of people in love would disagree with you.
Susan
This message has been edited by Xuxan on Oct 12, 2004 5:15 PM
susan why are you defending some kinky stuff but you are telling me that im crazy and need to see a counselor for mine? :((( i dont want anybody to beat me or put me in leather, why is someone who wants that somehow 'less crazy' than i am for wanting what i want?
it makes me sad, like either i really am a freak for having these desires or maybe i havent found the right place with someone who will guide me to understanding myself