Clay

It you are going to keep using that offensive name wil you please spell it right.  Resurrected.

Susan

Susan, what is so offensive about my name? I stopped using the Clay_Is_God name like you asked. Plus, I thought that this was a friendly, open forum where people don't have to worry about spelling?

Clay Resurrected has religious connotations as you well know. Some might think it is you claiming to be a resurrected Christ. I don't see it as much better than Clay is God. I haven't said anything because I get tired of harping on you - but there have been several complaints sent to me privately.

You condem others often for their grammar, etc. - the least you can do is the same you expect of others. Plus it makes you look stupid..

Susan

You see Susan, I believe that God is in everyone, to varying degrees, which is why some people act in a devine manner while others act more like animals. Some people refer to this as a "soul." So in a way we are all like Christ or at least we should all aspire to follow his principles. I just chose the name Clay_Resurrected in all innocence and I am surprised that people would complain to you and not post a message on the forum. I never claimed to be Christ resurrected, although I do try to live a "holyer than thou" existence, which has resulted in a neglected sex life.

If you want to live a Christ-like existence than you need to sincerely look at the way you treat people on this forum. Acting holier than thou does not give you the right to say some of the very mean-spirited things you say here. I doubt Christ in all his wisdom would find your intolerance for interracial marriage and homosexuality the least bit acceptable. I don't think Christ ever thought of himself as better than anyone else. Christ was a humble person.

I get just as many posts privately as I get on here publicly. There are people who refuse to post for fear of the responses they will get from you. ( That is exactly what they say! ) I get pleas from people to ban you - and I challenge them to see the growth in you. You have changed this place from the once friendly place it was to a place where people hesitate to post because they anticipate your reaction. You once said you didn't care what people thought of you- that you did not come here for friends. That's obvious - what is not is why you do come.

Why can't you simply be Clay?

Susan

I remember saying that I didn't come here to make friends. That was quite a while ago when I first started posting here. Back then I didn't really care how people reacted to what I posted. I think I have become more tolerant over the past couple of months and I think you would also agree with that.

Are people really afraid of posting thier concerns here out of fear of what I might reply to them? And they plea to you to ban me from here? That really hurts. They must see me as a cold, heartless human being who doesn't give a damn about anyone but myself. That is just not true. I do have feelings like anyone else and I like to read the messages that people send in to you and offer my humble suggestions.

Unfortunately, my comments are more often than not interpreted as hateful attacks and the people who I was sincerely trying to help end up attacking me. Claire's thread would be a good example of that.

I am truly sorry if I have caused your forum to change from a friendly sex-discussion forum into a dark place where people are afraid of posting thier sexual concerns. That was not my intention at all. All I ever wanted to do here was to help people have wholesome sexual relationships, by giving them suggestions as how I would go about it. That is why I keep coming back.

I am grateful that you haven't banned me, even though some of my previous comments were hurtful. Together, we can make this forum back into the friendly place it once was.

Clay

Clay,
The difference between you and me is that I can appreciate that some people do not share the same views of life as I do. I am not an ordinary person who practices an ordinary sexual lifestyle, but I do not attempt to force my lifestyle choices on others. I can hate the way a person behaves sexually and still try to help them without condeming them.

You fail to see the humanity inside people who make choices very different from the choices you make. People come here in large part because they want to stay safe - and not to be moralized against.

Try to think about how it would feel to hear what you say to others.

Susan

you TRY to be holier than thou? you do realize that "holier than thou" is a completely pejorative phrase, right?

Pejorative? I have no idea as to what that means. You are very eloquent for a 16 year old girl Devin. I'll have to look that up. Holier than thou is just an expression, lighten up.

Here's a few definitions for you ( from 2 online dictionaries):

Pejorative: A word or phrase is pejorative if it expresses contempt or disapproval about the thing or person described. Most pejorative expressions may also be used in a non-pejorative way, however, and (as with any implied meaning) determining the intent of the speaker is problematic.

Although pejorative means the same thing as disparaging Terms of disparagement (or fighting words) are pejorative terms such as yid, kike, nigger, whore, slut, fag and queer whose use usually arouses painful feelings in the target, members of the targeted group or sympathizers.

Main Entry: 2pejorative
Function: adjective
Etymology: Late Latin pejoratus, past participle of pejorare to make or become worse, from Latin pejor worse; akin to Sanskrit padyate he falls, Latin ped-, pes foot -- more at FOOT : having negative connotations; especially : tending to disparage or belittle : DEPRECIATORY
Adj. 1. holier-than-thou - excessively or hypocritically pious; "a sickening sanctimonious smile"

Main Entry: ho·li·er-than-thou
Function: adjective
: marked by an air of superior piety or morality

Main Entry: sanc·ti·mo·nious
Function: adjective
1 : affecting piousness : hypocritically devout;

Thanks for clearing that up Susan.

Thank you, Clay :) My parents taught me well.

What Would Jesus Do? Call people fat slobs?

Your right Nick. Who am I trying to kid anyway? Your more like Christ than I could ever be. If everyone in the world were more caring and considerate like you, the world would definitely be a better place. But sadly, the world is not like that. It is filled with mean, hate-filled people who commit crimes for a living.

By the way, you should get over that "fat slobs" remark. It was just a joke.

Calling somebody a "fat slob" can't even be considered a joke.
Most of these people gained their weight very slowly over time; most have very little control of it; are sensitive about it and are already tortured enough everywhere they go. They realize it everytime they go to buy clothes. Many have become paranoid. They listen to people whispering. It bothers them and the people may not even be talking about them.
Like I said before, some of the nicest, friendliest and warmest people on this planet are a little bit overweight. Their hearts and souls are the very same as before. Call me crazy, but I also think a LITTLE bit of extra weight on a woman is somewhat attractive, if not sexy! Charlotte Rae for one.
Just think if that trim Indian girl that you finally marry, gains substantial weight, then what are you going to say about her? Are you going to love her less? What if she hears you making fun of someone else? Are you going to divorce her?
You must learn to respect all people, unless they ask for less than that. You gotta start ACCEPTING people, from all walks of life, the way they are, knowing that they are all different, and don't try to change or make fun of them. It doesn't hurt to be nice...try it and see!

Clay,

Calling a person a fat slob is never a joke to the person who is called that. And to people who are caring people it is never a joke either. Words are powerful. Words hurt. Words kills people's good feelings about them self.

A person told me a throw a away comment that hurt my feelings when I was about 14 --I can still hear it to this very day. They had no idea it would have such a profound effect on me.

You are 23 years old - it is time to stop acting like a child and grow up. You ought to be able to think through what you say or write before you say or write it. If want to participate in a forum that is designed to make people feel badly about their choices and situations you need to go somewhere else.

So you know, your days here are numbered, my patience is growing very thin.

Susan

But still, it is not particularly healthy to be overweight! (I mean really overweight).
So to just accept and think that overweight is the way it is supposed to be is not right. It is a fact that the western world is gaining weight (with the US in the extreme end) and that is a serious problem. It is not okay with a lifestyle that results in diabetes /heart problems/etc. I do of course realize that various medical conditions can cause overweight, but for a lot of people it is a matter of lifestyle/poor diet.

By the way, you don't loose much by skipping the softdrinks, why not just drink water?
I just can't understand why people use a lot of money on food that is nothing but sugar and fat! Just quit using sugar and you will notice that things that barly tasted sweet suddenly is really sweet!

I'm sorry about the fat slob comment. I realize now that it was not funny to anyone, especially overweight people. I know now that you yourself Susan are overweight (after seeing your picture on somethingawful.com), but I swear, when I posted that fat slob remark, I had no idea that you were overweight and didn't mean any disrespect by it. I just posted it witout giving it much thought. I didn't think that it would cause so much grief. Please don't ban me from here.

Clay,

My weight is irrelevant in this. The comment I received when I was young was in regards to my having ugly toes. To this day I cannot see my toes as anything as ugly even though many have told me differently. I have not worn a pair of sandals since then. This guy made a throw away comment that he thought meant nothing (and actually it did) but it has stupidly haunted me all my life.

You say things that hurt people's feeling - not things that are supposed to help them share the same moral values as you do. Ever hear the phrase "Criticize the behavior, not the child".
Very few people in this word are bad people but lots of people in this world make bad choices. Criticize the choices people make - but do not condem people for the choices they have made - at least not here.

Susan

Ok pyld, enough!
first of all, this forum is not the place for overweight discussions, though i'm sure susan and others would be plenty glad to talk to you about it, if you speak respectfully. it is never just a matter of diet, and/or exercise. some people are genetically different than maybe you or i.

That being said. there is no excuse to attack people the way you did. as you have very well seen here, especially on this thread, attacking people is not the way to get anything done, or any information out around this forum. this society forces people to be thin, makes us want to be thin, and all look the same, and think the same. and while i don't believe that being overweight is a community, or somehting like that. you cannot just come here and tell people to drink more water, quit drinking pop, and they'll lose weight. it doesn't work like that. i don't know your experience, but my guess is that you were born with a comparatively faster metabolism, and have not had weight issues, i would hope you would speak with more understanding if you had. many people have had weight issues one way or another, and, without speaking for anyone else on here. when i say, just don't be offensive. if you have a question about overweight people, you may ask respectfully, or go do research on your own. that is all. i am perfectly willing to talk about it, if done respectfully.

Butterflie ----you go girl! I am so accustomed to Pyid's sane comments that this one threw me for a loop.

Susan

Sorry I started this maelstrom up again Susan.

Clay, thanks for the compliment. Sorry if I harped on this. It's just I've fallen for many girls of all sizes, and I took it personally, like you were dissing the girl I'm currently crushing on. Sorry.

I tend to be attracted to girls based on how/if they react to me, their kindness, values, intellect, etc., NOT if they fit into some sick media image. I know what it's like to be different, I know what it's like to be outcast, I know what it's like to be sad, so I reach out to the girl in the corner whenever possible (not often)
Maybe I'm weird for 22.

All the best.

Nick

I wouldn't say that you're wierd Nick, just different, like me I suppose. I know that your situation is different from others since you can't move your arms much. I'm glad that you have found someone you can be happy with. Your doing better than me right now, since I am still lonely. Maybe I should just take whatever girl comes my way and be happy with that.

Sorry if I was a bit harsh, maybe I did not express what I ment clearly, sorry for that.
I tried to comment the overweight problem for large populations, not for people that have a
medical condition of some sort that causes/increase the probability for overweight. What I mean, is that many people can do a lot more to reduce overweight problems which is a serious threat to the health of a lot of people.

all i can say, is that it is not easy to lose weight for many people. and those who are overweight cannot necesarily lose weight, whether or not it is a medical condition. your personal experiences (or lack thereof, i have never met you), quite possibly are not similar to anyone else.

as i say when i do GLBTQ speaker panels. i speak only for myself, and tell my story which may or may not be similar to anyone else's. please keep that in mind when you are posting.

I haven't "found someone I can be happy with" yet.

I am still lonely.

Point I was making is, I've fallen for girls of all sizes, so I took it personally.

Sorry.

*hides*

Nick

There's a new reality show on tv that gets a bunch of overweight people and have them try to lose as much weight as they can. The one who loses the most weight gets $250 000. I don't know why the networks would create such a show, if they are mocking them or sincerely want them to lose weight for their own good. One thing's for sure, the money is surely an incentive.

Is it just me, or do all the threads with more than 10 posts involve an argument, which more likely than not involves Clay? Isn't this forum supposed to be about helping people confused about sex? I wouldnt be surprised if many people would be scared to post, what with all these topics degenerating into inane arguements about the proper etiquette for posting in online forums. Lets stop the hate and spread the love!

I know exactly what you mean Zack. This forum is supposed to be a place where people can feel free to post their sexual concerns and get feedback from others, but it seems like as soon as I post something, there are about 5 posts that follow saying that I should have said what I said with different words. I really do hope that people aren't afraid of posting here, because of me.

Amen brother!

- Mike

=)

Not to bring up the weight thing again, but why are people so concerned about it? it's not like smoking where it is unhealthy for more than just the smoker. Isn't it only more unhealthy for just the overweight person? I just don't understand why people worry so much about over weight people. This subject always gets to me everytime! Why can't we just enjoy people for who they really, truly are?

I was watching an episode of Dr. Phil today and one of his guests was this woman who weighed about 360 lbs. and her goal is to get fatter and weigh about 600 lbs. Apparently, she wants to gain this extra, unhealthy weight, because she wants to look more sexier and dress sexier.

She clearly needs some counseling, because I don't think anyone would consider a 600 lb. woman sexy. My point is that people who criticize obese people are doing it for thier own good. It is very unhealthy to be that overweight. It is not right though to ridicule those overweight people.

Clay,

There are men who think that the fatter a woman is the sexier she is- and some women think that of men too. Different people want different things from their partners. To me 600 is way too much - and she obviously has some hesitation about it - otherwise she would not be on Dr. Phil.

Susan

Just like exessive alcohol consumation, overvweight is a problem that concerns the society.
Overweight causes many problems like high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, etc. Naturally this
places a burden on the hospitals and health system.
According to the World Health Organization [1] more than 1 billion people are overweight today,
which is a SERIOUS problem. Overweight and lack of exercise is maybe the largest health problem in
the western world.

I cannot imagine that this is not possible to reduce!

Ofcourse I would probably see this from a different viewpoint if I was overweight myself.
I can't understand how hard is it! just try to use your body a bit! bicycle, walk, whatever!
did I mention bicycling! It is very enjoyable, try it some day. This summer I bicycled about
2300 Kilometers, I did enjoy every kilometer. Getting physically tired is actually enjoyable,
I sleep a lot better, the food tastes better, I can eat anything I want without getting fat, it is actually hard to keep my current weight.


1:
World Health Organization
http://www.who.int/dietphysicalactivity/publications/facts/obesity/en/

Pyid,

You make it sound so simple - and you think it is so simple - becauuse obviously it is not a problem for you.

For some people there is a genetic component.
For some people there are other health issues involved.
For some it is a financial issue ( healthy food costs more.)
For some people it is related to disability.

I have 3 fibroid tumors on my uterus - which will cost about 30,000 to get operated on and 6-8 weeks with no work. I'd have to put my son in some sort of care home as he couldn't be on his own without me being able to check in on him. I have no health insurance. As long as all these tumors do is make me fat- ithey will stay as I simply cannot afford to have them removed.

Pyid - be as compassionate toward people with weight problems as other problems that are not entirely of their own choosing. Do you really think most pople would choose to be fat if another choice was a real possibility?

Susan

Susan, it's too bad that you don't live up here in Canada. With our health care system, they would remove your fibroids free of charge (I think).

I think that Pyld has virtually the same position that I do in regards to the obesity problem in North America. We Canadians and Americans used to be some of the nicest looking people in the world, but now, due to our poor diet choices, lack of exercise and dependency on the automobile, our countries have become home to some very obese people. I heard that even children don't like to exercise and as a result, they too are getting type 2 diabetes, which not too long ago was only associated with middle aged obese people.

Some overweight people think that their weight problems can be solved with a magical diet like the "Atkins" low carb diet or with diet pills. Sure, with the "Atkins" diet you will lose weight, because your body goes into starvation mode and consumes your glycogen reserves (stored carbs). It's not a healthy diet, since it produces ketones (toxins) in your body. This is why doctors don't recommend it.

My overweight sister takes diet pills to control her weight. Trimspa works pretty well and I think she is on Xantrex now. She doesn't like to exercise. There's no miracle to losing weight. People have been doing it for generations. With enough will power, I'm sure that most obese people can do it too.

Hmm, the reasons you listed is the exceptions I ment. People with issues such as you listed have a hard time controlling their weight, and therefore they do have a good reason.

What I try to say is that the population as a whole is too heavy, a lot of people with
no particular health issues are too heavy. Let me emphasize once more:
I do not refer to people with issues such as you listed!

I have one example, a friend of mine with normal health was too heavy and his doctor told him that in order to stay healthy he needed to loose some weight and exercise more. The guy
used to bicycle a lot, but things in his life caused him to exercise less and eat less
healthy. Now he has changed that, he use his bicycle a lot more and eats better food, and
he has reached a healthy weight.
He is a average person, no particular health issues. A LOT of overweight people do not have
any of those issues you listed! Thats what I'm talking about. It is important that
people are aware of the health risks with overweight and how to eat healthy!

I'm sorry to hear about your tumors and that you cannot afford to remove them.
It is sad that this is a monetary issue... thats why I prefer a government funded health
system with free/low price health services to the whole population... I rather pay
a lot of tax.

By the way, is healthy food really more expensive? I'm not sure about that..
vegetables like potatoes, carrots, onions, etc is quite cheap, so is fish, rice, and pasta.
I'm not an expert on diets, but I think I have a quite okay diet. It is not particularly expensive, I did record how much I spent on food earlier. I think I used about 7-8 $ pr day.
And that is for a single person, for several persons it will be a bit cheaper too as
you can buy larger quantities of food.

Heh, this is very offtopic, so I should probably end this now.

Americans are a very fat nation. The reason for this is poor diet and lack of exercise. If all those "other reasons" listed were important factors then all the people of the west would be equally fat. But we aren't. America is killing it's self eating muck and sitting around.

My whole point to all of this is why do you care? It has no effect on you wether these people are fat, skinny, slim, sexy, nada! I think that people who point out obesity or people who are overweight do it to make themselves feel better in some way. And the health costs? Yes it does cost a lot, but have you ever thought about how much money is spent in restaurants and on clothes to try and make us look slimmer and all these diets for people to buy and work out videos and fitness centers? Don't tell me those just came out of no where for no reason. They make a ton of money off people trying to loose weight, and that probably helps the econonmy.

hey, i'm plenty willing to talk about this, but if you really want to, please start a new thread.

Well at least the weight loss companies are making money making you feel better at urself AND saving your life instead of fattening you up and giving you a coronary at an age of 30

it seems to me, pyld, that you have been taken in by the media. yes, sometimes being overweight can cause those problems, but losing weight is not nearly as easy as you seem to think. i have struggled with weight issues for most of my life, i'm not going to get into details, but i can tell you that i can be incredibly commited to eating healthy, exercising, and doing everything that you have said, and i do not lose more than a couple pounds, after weeks, or months. it is not easy, it doesn't always work, and not everyone needs to be skinny, or even normal. i could get on my soapbox for hours, but please, don't talk about what you have not experienced, especially surrounding weight.

-- from a person who used to think it was that easy, and discovered that's not so.

But not all overweight people have all these problems that you seem to think they have, like a coronary at 30. Yes I think exercise and a balanced diet are good things. But the people I'm talking about aren't massivley obeise, and I hear people making comments about them all the time. I work in a resturuant, and I hear the things my co-workers say about people who are simple plump. It's ridiculous and I think people who have such a concern about it should just worry about what they look like and stop looking at what other people look like and what they are eating. Because I'm sure there are a few things you have to change about yourself, one of them being how you view other people.