You must know by now that I'm level headed.
The reason why I left the forum is that I'm wary to further discuss with you the problem I talked to you about earlier.
After trying things about (20 minutes) your way, I'm still disappointed after all these years. I'm afraid nothing much has changed and thats the way things are.
The first time, it works okay. But the second time, I start to get pressure and become uncomfortable. The third time in a row, I'm totally miserable. My wife asked me if I was feeling okay. I told her it was sinus. I was looking at the computer, all the letters were blury even with my glasses on, those old feelings were coming back.... that I decided better go.
Because I know all I'm going to hear from you is that it is in my head, and I know it isn't. At that point, I do not want to see anybody or do anything although it isn't even close to how I felt years ago. All I want is for you to recognize and acknowledge that there is something wrong or not quite right with congestion on the left side.
Yet, just one time with the wife clears it up and I feel great.
This may blow everything that you have learned, but if you were to experience it; it would certainly change your mind.
You must do something different when you masturbate - I have no idea what it could be. Your penis has not a clue whether it is inside your hand, a vacumn tube attached to a pump, a squisy sex toy, or your wife. The physical response of your penis to ejaculate is identical no matter what stimulates it to to ejaculate.
Examine what you do and see what is different.
Do you take Viagra/Cialis/ Levitra before you masturbate? If not that could be what the problem is as part of what those drugs do is increase the power of your ejaculation.
Do you try to hold back the quantity of actual ejaculate because of not wanting to make a mess?
Could it be because you sit when you masturbate - but are lying down for sex? Do you consistently masturbate in the same position that somehow puts pressure on one testicle?
When you say 3 times in twenty minutes - what 3 are you referring to? 3 ejaculations? 3 thrusts? 3 rounds of masturbation? For the life of me I cannot imagine what 3 things takes 20 minutes - that could be a clue.
I don't deny you are experiencing a difference when you masturbate versus when you have sex. And I am not saying precisely that it is in your head ---what I am saying is that there has to be a specific difference that is causing it- and it is not masturbation versus vaginal sex.
Physical symptoms are physical symptoms and there is no denying that. But there is also no inherent difference between ejaculating into a cup versus a vagina. Sorry if this answer displeases you.
Susan
G (no login)
Re: Untitled
November 29 2004, 10:15 AM
It was taking 20 minutes or more each time, 3 separate days..no intercourse in between..
I was sitting and laying down. But that should not make a difference or there would be other guys complaining. I was not holding back...I let it fly. Listening to your words of wisdom, having lots of confidence, being optimistic, I did not have any guilty feelings...I just forgot about it.
So, I don't know either. It is puzzling.
When I had the problem before, the doctor said that intercourse would clear it up. He was right. I was afraid to have intercourse cause I thought the problems would just continue. I was questioning his diagnosis. I really wasn't ready for a relationship. He did say that a CONDOM would NOT work for me.
(So what did he know? Maybe he knew something that we don't.)
He spent a lot of time with guys in the Army as a Medic and he said the problem was VERY common. So in his mind, masturbating and intercourse are slightly different cause it wasn't working for some of these guys either..
(that might mean something to you)
I was very afraid to have intercourse to get a repeat of the past. It was his assurance that got me thru it.
My first time with intercourse,I shot a big load and 10 minutes later in a second time, shot another good load. (This is after 3 years, (once a week) of prostate/ seminal vesicle therapy) I was amazed enough the next day while driving, to pull off the road and kiss my wife. It was the first time I felt good in 5 years having a sexual experience. I had sex almost every day for 4 years after that in all kinds of positions...and always felt great. And now of course, it's been 37 years. It's always good.
Before that, and even after getting married, I tried masturbating in all positions. Sitting up, laying down, sideways, standing up, having her do it, in the bathtub in hot water etc. All felt great at the moment.....
I did notice with intercourse that I was much warmer ( the heat permeated my pelvis) and I ejaculated more. I've have used condoms, but can't get fully satisfied with them and needed more sex.
Does any of this make sense? Some of the other guys reading this might comment.
There was a clue in there --no condoms. That might correlate to a tight grip. A vagina relatively speaking is pretty loose around a guy's penis. ( Which is why some guys wonder what is wrong when they first have sex - doesn't feel nearly as good as when then masturbate.) Maybe you just grip too hard and need more lubrication? Myab eyou need to masturbate like Clay and focus more on the head?