I am confused about something. Well my brother who 15 is rather kind - I am 14 by the way - He is quite helpfull with things, like homework and stuff.

But the thing is that a couple of weeks ago i was sitting in my room. It was late and i was buisy reading a magazine with my back to the door sitting on my bed, so i didn't heard him coming in my room. All of the sudden i heard him telling me to turn around wich i did quite fast. And the next thing i know i turned around and he had his stiff penis in my mouth. I was scared and i wanted to get free, but he is much stronger then me and he pushed my head against his crotch so couldn't get out. After a minute or so i just froze and couldn't do anything. He started moving his crotch in and out of my mouth, but i don't think he'd come because i dind't taste anything. He did breathed harder though. I think it lasted about five minutes, before he stopped and pushed my head against the pillow and ran to his room (he did this twice more later on).

At first i was scared, fearing that he would come back, but later on i was also confused. I was thinking about if this was normal or not. Because i have heard that a few girls of my age and some older, that they have had sex already. But i'm scared to ask them if they had sex like this also. Maby they would laugh at me or even bullying me. I'm also scared to tell it to my parents, because they have yelled at me before about surtan issue's.

In the end i didn't forsaw it that he would do that. Now we just ignore eachother. But it is still in my mind and i rememberd that about 3 or 4 weeks ago. I took a shower, dried my self up and putted only my bra and thong on. In my bathroom we always let the door open, because there is no ventilation in it and then the bathroom would become a sauna. Now i thought that i was alone in the house, so opened the door fully and coamed my hair. Then i realised that i wasn't alone, because i saw my brother staring at me. I didn't knew what to think of it and just looked at him back. He then went to his room.

So maby this led him on to what he did. That i perhaps provoked it.
I also heard once that men have "needs", so maby he had that or something.

Please Susan i don't know what to do. Could u tell me what to do?

Yours truly
Josine

Josine,

First, you need to tell your parents. What happened is not OK. It is rape. You did nothing to cause it - the incident in the bathroom does not give him the right to do anything sexual to you. It is not your fault. It is your brother who did the wrong thing.

If your parents do not take the situation seriously - then you need to talk to someone else - someone your parents will listen to and respect ----a teacher, a grandparent, a religious leader, an aunt - keep telling people until someone believes you and takes this seriously.

Tell your brother he cannot have sex with you again. And if he tries it tell him you are going to yell and scream and fight him ( and then do that!)

Do not spend time alone with your brother. If he is helping you with homework - do it in a room where your parents are.

Get a lock for you bedroom door. You can get a lock that is the kind that is used on hotel room doors - so you put it on and take it off when you want to.  Don't let your brother know where you keep the lock.

You can use this same lock in the bathroom if there is no lock there.

It might be really a big pain - but you need to start closing  and locking the door while you are in the bathroom. This isn't fair - but you need to prevent your brother from "thinking" he has a reason to rape you again.

What your brother did to you is called forced fellatio. When two people do it because they want to it can be a wonderful thing to do. Some people call this BJ, Blow jobs, oral sex, going down, and other things. Brothers and sisters do not do this together - when they do it is called incest. It is not only not a healthy thing for you to do because it makes you feel weird, but because it is against the law.

Talk to your parents, and if they don't take you seriously you must talk to someone else ------ keep talking to someone until someone listens. This cannot happen again.  Please keep in touch and let me know what happens. I will be worried about you.

Susan

Josine, Susan is right. Brothers and sisters should not be engaging in any sort of sexual activity, no matter how tempting it may be. It just leads to problems down the road and makes your relationship with your sibling very complicated. It may also make your future relationships quite complicated and you may end up as messed up as I am.

Hello its me again

A week has passed and alot has changed. At first my relationship with my brother was gone. We didn't talked after the incidents. But recently he began to talk to me and said to me that we need to spend more time together. I didn't want to really, but he insisted or else he would do it again he said. The memories and feelings that i got from it are still in my mind. Also knowing that he is so strong, i couldn't possibly stand up to him. So i feel that i have no choice.

He wants to have a closer relationship and that i must do what he says. Not in the way of rubbing his feet or anything. No he wants me to hang out with him. Like watching a dvd and stuff. He wants me to cuddle with him and sit on his lap and so i do this. He talks about me being just like a girlfriend and how nice this is.

But afterall he was my big brother who looked after me. I admired him and i loved him. Know i only wished that he would stop doing this.

But all the cuddling and the time he wants to spend with me made me realise that maby i am just a substitute. Because i know that he doesn't has a girlfriend and most of his friends have or had. And he talks alot about girlfriends, so maby he wants to have a girlfriend so much that he forces it on me. I think that my only hope is that he could get a girlfriend to love her. So he would leave me alone.

About 2 months ago i rememberd that he brought a girl home. She was quite nice actually, i spoke with her for about 5 min. To bad that i haven't seen her since. Because maby she could be his girlfriend and then all this would end. I'm sure of it. Because he's my big brother. He wouldn't hurt. I just know it. I think soon, there's going to be a happy ending for me and my brother. It's just a matter of time.

Your's truly
Josine

Josine,

What your brother is doing is abuse and it is not right. You are not his girlfriend, you are his sister. He is making you feel more and more comfortable with doing what he says. He is manipulating you.

You don't think he will hurt you. He is hurting you. You trust him and believe in him and that makes it easy for him to abuse you.

You have got to talk to your parents about this today. It is dangerous what he is doing. It has to stop. You should not be alone in a room with him ever at all.

Please talk to someone today. You might not see where this is going - but to be it is as clear as day.

Susan

Its possible that you could be making it up but i don't doubt you things do happen. Just all the girls i know my age 14-15 would never let this happen unless they wanted to. When i read the first post i was going to say ar eyou sure it wasn't a dream but the second post made me not so sure. your brother may need counsellin. no he defiently does. I am 15 and a boy if i had a sister your age or an age for that matter i would never even dream of doing this. its is wrong just tell someone. he could of broken up with a girlfriend or be depressed for some other reason but you both need help. You from him and him for himself.