Hi Susan,

I needed help about sex. I found this site and it seemed to helped a lot of people. I need help fast. My girl and I just decided to have sex together. She is about 4 years older than me. I knew her because she was my older sister's friend. I know her since I was young but never really talked to her because I was too young but she was the one that I fantasized about. Anyways I met her again after so many years and hit it off. She told me she like guys who have experiece. I told her a couple stories about me and other girls and so did she about other guys. We shared our best times that we had sex in the past with others. We've been together for a while nowand we just decide to have sex together on her birthday. It's this weekend. The problem is that I lied to her about my experience. I never did it with any of my girlfriends before.

I need help on how to have sex. I watch many pornos before but I don't know if I can do the positions. I searched on the net but they only have pics and minor details. I need tips on the position if I'm on top. I don't want to look like I never done it before , especially after I already told the stories.
I'm serious can you get back with me ASAP.

Hey,

You've gotten yourself into quite the situation here =)

Here's my similar experiance: When I had sex for the first time I had lied to my gf as well and told her that i had had sex before. The difference with her was that it was also her first time. I did this for two reasons, first was that I was always a bit embarrased that i hadn't had sex yet b/c i wanted it to be with the right person (now i realize that this is definilty nothing to be ashamed of and i heartily recommend doing that as well to everyone) and 2nd was that i knew it would make her feel more comfortable and safe knowing that she was with someone that was more experianced. It ended up working out alright b/c i had a fair bit of knowledge about sex (from watching lots of porn...as every guy does...and reading up a lot on it). About 4 months later i finally told her the truth that she was my first and she actually like that a lot more and it made her feel so much more special knowing that, i thought she would have been mad, but really she wasn't and it made the relationship that much stronger.

As for your situation, you have two real options.

The first being that you you don't tell your girl. This can either go ok, or very badly. You have no idea how your body will respond to having sex for the first time. You might come to early, or be so nervous about performance (which you seem to be from your post) that you can't even get it up. It could also go ok, in the fact that you're able to perform alright but you'll still probably come across as inexperianced to her since she has had sex before and this will be your first time. And getting really good at sex takes time and practice. If this happens then she might think you're just bad at sex. There is a chance that everything will go as you want it to but i wouldn't count on that too much. There's a lot of little things that happen during sex that you won't know about unless you've done it before. The cycles of how hard you are during a given time period, how to control when you're able to come, knowing how to angle your body to hit that sweet spot inside her or grind into her pelvis. These are things that do come with experiance that you can't really just learn all from theory.

The second option, the one i recommend to you, would be to tell her the truth. Just say you have a confession to make, and let it out. Try to get her to empathize with you and say you were just embarassed that she was so experianced and you were not and try to take the focus away from the fact that you lied to her before with your stories. I would recommend doing this after some foreplay where you had just pleased her for a loooong time. This is no doubt the harder of the two routes to take but I believe if she really likes you she'll understand and will be that much more accepting of any slip ups that may happen and hopefully make it a more fun experiance for you rather than you constantly worrying if you're doing it right and such. I would definltly emphasize that you wanted to wait for the right person and that you know that she is that person, make her feel all warm and tingly inside =)

Regardless of which option you choose to take, make sure you start off with a lot of foreplay. If you can make sure you can get her to make you come (bj, hj, however) then allow like 5-15 mins for yourself to get ready to go again (during which time you get to please her!). This will give you a much better chance of lasting during sex.

As for positions, doing her from behind is always a safe bet. You can have her just on her knees on the bed, or have her stand up and spread her legs while you do her from behind standing as well. For being on top, straight up missionary is usually good as a warm up. You can put a pillow underneath her butt to help pivot her hips a bit more and that usually makes it more pleasurefull for the lady. You can lift her legs straight up so that they're resting on your shoulders, you can do this while kneeling upright so that her legs are more verticle or you can lean forward more so that you can kiss her and bend her body a bit more (depends on her flexibility i guess). Another variation of this is to let her legs slide from your shoulders down to your arms so that as you lean forward her legs are forced apart and you place your arms to the sides of her and proceed to have sex that way. You can go to some bookstores as well and check out different positions in the books they have there. Also just watch some pornos and get some ideas. I wouldn't recommend trying anything crazy like where she's in a handstand and that stuff (at least not yet =), but just look at their body positioning...but keep in mind that a lot of the positions are made for the camera angles and aren't necesarily the best positions to do, so that's why i would recommend checking out books instead. Either way though if you end up telling her the truth then she'll help guide you and then you won't have to worry about it. Above all communicate with her. Ask her "does this feel good?" "Want me to position differently?" Talking to her is the best way to find out what she really likes and how to give her the most pleasure.

Final advice: Stay relaxed, try not to get too nervous/stressed, (a definite hard-on killer), tell her the truth, if you come to early, don't worry worry about it and just be like "well looks like i get to go down on you for another 15 mins!", i'm sure she won't mind that.

Ok this turned into quite an essay, hope it helps out though.

Good luck! Drop back by and let us know how it turns out!

Later,

- Mike

Mike, and Need Help Fast 

Mike, you did such a good job - I am not even going to try to elaborate. But I am going to say - like Mike said- that you can't get experience from talking to others - because your body is unique. The only way you are going to act like you are experienced at sex is to be experienced.

And also----most women love to be a guy's first - for all the same reasons that guys like to be a girl's first.  You've acquired no bad habits and will do sex exactly the way she wants you to-as she will teach you the way she wants it.

Susan

Thanks for your advice. I told her right before we started to have sex. She wasn't mad at me. She thought it was special since it was my first time. I wanted to be on top for my first time. It didn't went that well. I accidently put my penis in the wrong whole. I think that really hurt her. But she wasn't mad instead she just said for us to switch position with her on top. I wasn't too embarrassed because she already knew that it was my first time. I didn't think she was mad because it was my first time too. Anyways I just wanted to thank you for the advice.

Hey,

I'm glad the advice helped and everything went well! You should stick around the forum, I'm sure that you'll have a ton of questions that come up now that you're having sex, I remember I sure did, and still do!

Later,

- Mike