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Shy about him going down

December 22 2004 at 5:27 PM
RitaD.  (no login)

 
Hello, my question is this: My b/f wants to eat me out but i've never had that done to me before but i want him to. We've been dating for 8 months. We talk about everything and is very comfortable w/ each other but i'm afraid he may or may not like my vagina. I shave completely, that i know he likes from asking him questions about his past relationships; I'm somewhat embarrassed to have him go down on me. I'm very clean and know nothing is wrong but i am still shy about it. What can i do?

 
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(Login Xuxan)
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Re: Shy about him going down

December 22 2004, 6:30 PM 

Rita,

We are taught from a very young age that are vaginas are private. We are told to keep our legs together. There are jokes about patent leather shoes showing what is under our skirts.Our vulvas cannot be see the way a penis can be seen.  

Even when you first experience sex - most of what can be accomplished can be done without actually showing the person you are with the entrance to your vagina. They see your pubic mound ( where your pubic hair is) but they can slip their penis inside you without actually looking at where it is going.

So now you are supposed to show this part of your body to someone else to see in a way you can't actually see yourself. This part that reacts to sexual arousal by getting wetter and changing size.  It is about having a mouth and a nose near the part of your body that pees and menstruates.  It is about opening your body up (literally and figuratively) to someone else who then has control over how your body responds. He will know things about your body that you have little knowledge of.

Cunnilingus/ oral sex on a woman takes a tremendous amount of courage and risk-taking for women. You can eliminate a bit of it by doing a few things. These may seem sorta weird, but they will give you some better understanding about your body.

Masturbate with a tampon in. Then after you have masturbated awhile (and had an orgasm if possible) take the tampon out and smell it. You will smell the healthy smell of your vagina. You will smell how a women smells when she is sexually excited. You will see what your sexual fluids actually look like and how much of them there are. Then squeeze the tampon in your hands. Taste one of your fingers. This is what a person will taste.   

The other thing to do is to get a mirror and look at your vulva and vagina opening. See how it looks when your legs are spread wide open. This is what he will see.

Now you have a better idea of what he will experience and hopefully you will understand that this is a wonderful thing to him. And the best part is that no matter how wonderful it is for him to see and taste you - it will be so much better for you.

Oral sex is one of the most wonderful sexual experiences a woman can have. Nothing feels like it and nothing compares. You have a wonderful experience ahead of you. Close your eyes and enjoy!

Susan


 
 
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