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Question for anyone

January 3 2005 at 10:47 PM
Anonymous  (no login)

 
Is it alright for 2 people to have sex with loving each other? I'm not talking about hookers either. This is what happen to me. My niece or cousin depending on how you look at it. She is my cousin's daugther so her generation is under me. We are also the same age. Anyways she and I are close, we knew each other since we were kids. One day she decided that she wanted me to her first, she would be mine as well. I was excited because I really liked her but since I was her uncle I never made a move. We both agreed but she said that we couldn't kiss each other. I wanted to kiss her but she wouldn't let me. We still have sex every now and then but she has her own boyfriends and I have my own girlfriends. But I really love her. Everytime we have sex together she we never kiss.

 
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(Login Xuxan)
Forum Owner

Re: Question for anyone

January 3 2005, 11:28 PM 

This sounds like a relationship that is going no where (boyfriend & girlfriend-wise) --and might hurt your family relationship if it continues. So I personally think it is a bad idea.

Susan


 
 
Rita Dem.
(no login)

Re: Question for anyone

January 4 2005, 12:14 AM 

Well first of all you are her uncle so that makes it incest that you two are having sex! Anyway you state it, she is still your blood. I personally consider that a taboo and very crazy/sick! So i would suggest you two stop having sex before this gets even worse, which i'm sure it won't because you two are already doing something that is bad enough; instead of worrying about kissing her, i would assume that you would worry about why you are having sex with your niece in the first place!!!!!!!

 
 
Starter
(no login)

Re: Question for anyone

January 4 2005, 8:06 PM 

The relationship is not developed so it is not ok to continue it. But regarding Rita's comment, it is not incest. The person is not her real uncle. The Two are of same age group. So the sexual attraction is genuine. I dont see anything like incest.

 
 

(Login Xuxan)
Forum Owner

Re: Question for anyone

January 4 2005, 10:15 PM 

There have been discussions of incest here before. Since we don't know how old either of the people are or where they live - whether or not it is incest  LEGALLY is unknown.

Here are a few definitions: 

England and Canada prohibit marriages between uncles and nieces and aunts and nephews but allow first cousins to marry. Some U.S. states follow he same pattern, but others have made first cousin marriage illegal.   ( Because these are considered incestual relationships.)

and

A. Sexual contact, inappropriate touching, or sexual penetration involving people who are closely related -- for example, a father and daughter, sex between a brother and sister, sexual contact between a child and his uncle. Sex between persons of unequal power can also be considered a form of incest, such as between a therapist and patient, or a student and teacher

B. There is now an evolving definition of incest that takes into consideration the betrayal of trust and the power imbalance in these one-sided relationships. One such definition is: "the imposition of sexually inappropriate acts, or acts with sexual overtones ... by one or more persons who derive authority through ongoing emotional bonding with that child." (Blume, 1990, p. 4) This definition expands the traditional definition of incest to include sexual abuse by anyone who has authority or power over the child. This definition of incest includes as perpetrators: immediate/extended family members, babysitters, school teachers, scout masters, priests/ministers, etc.

C. "Incest between an adult and a related child or adolescent is now recognized as the most prevalent form of child sexual abuse and as one with great potential for damage to the child". (Courtois, 1988, p. 12)

D . The definition of incest varies from one group to another. In the United States, for example, marriage between first cousins is illegal in some states, but legal in others. Americans don't carry the ban against marriage beyond first cousins, but some groups carry it much farther.

E. The Arunta, a tribe in Australia, for example, look at relationships in an entirely different way than we do. They think of certain clans as being "blood" relatives, and marriage between people in those clans as incest. They reckon such blood relationships so extensively that for Arunta men marriage to seven out of every eight women is defined as incest.

F.  Perhaps one of the most trying issues for the worker is that of sibling-to- sibling sexual abuse.  In this article, when sibling incest is mentioned it is referring generally to older brother abuse of a younger sister. Recognizing the risk factors, understanding the causes, and making an assessment, can be challenging.

 


 
 
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