I've been married for 11 years now and up until about 2 years ago I could have wonderful G spot orgams along with manual stimulation orgams. Sex was wonderful.

I got pretty sick back in 2002 and had several back surgeries and I'm now on a daily regimen of meds to include 2 narcotics, nerve pain meds, anti-inflammatory drugs, meds for acid reflux, high cholestrol, and last, an anti-depressant, Welbutrin. I was on Celexa, but heard Welbutrin was better for sexual experiences and weightloss. I know most anti-depressants can cause problems with orgasms. I can have an orgasm if I stimulate myself with my wonderful "ROBO Bunny." It's an amazing toy! It doesn't take long with the vibrator, but when I'm with my husband it just doesn't happen.

I'm to the point to where I avoid sex with my husband. I just don't have ANY desire to have sex. Now once I'm convinced to do it, then I usually feel better once I get into it. I don't know if everything is tied together or not. Meaning, I can't climax with my husband because I just don't care one way or another if I have sex or is it the medicine, or is it a combination of the two?

Any suggestions? I really need help! I want my sex life back. My marriage is really suffering. I get to the point where I tell myself I'm just gonna have sex and like it no matter what, but that only lasts a few days.

Thanks so much!
Beth

Beth,

First, have you talked to your doctor about this? You are taking a lot of drugs - so that could be the problem.

Second, there is a difference between not enjoying sex and not having orgasms.   You are able to have orgasms- just with a sex toy. So what you need to do is to incorporate using that sex toy into having sex with your husband. Let him use the sex toy on you. Use the sex toys for awhile - then switch to without- and then back to the sex toy.

The fact you can orgasm with sex toy means you are capable of orgasm. But it sounds like what you need is more intense stimulation and direct stimulation that a sex toy provides. 

Vaginal sex/missionary position is not really about orgasm - it is about making babies. A lot of women have difficulty having orgasms from vaginal sex. The stimulation a women receives from vaginal sex/mp just isn't enough or in the right places. So they have oral sex or other kinds of sex first - they are 99% of the way to orgasm-then they start having vaginal sex/mp with their partner and they they go the final 1%.

In addition to your health - you are just getting older. Women sexual needs change as they age because their bodies change. SO they have to change the way they have had sex. They can have just as good or better sex - just not the same way. SO try experimenting and changing positions.  If you miss gspot orgasms especially- try sex doggie style/vaginal entry from behind.

Because of all the drugs you are taking and the fact you are getting older - you may also be getting dryer. You may need more lubrication than you have needed before. There are lots of lubrications on the market - but the best ones are sold in sex stores or online - not in the grocery store.  Eros has a line of lubrication for women that soaks into the skin to help not only lubricate for sex- but make your vagina less dry all the time. I never tried this - but there silicone lubrication is my absolute favorite - so I am going to think that there women's formula is also good.  You can get it from a link on this page.

Good luck. You don't have as big a problem as you think - since sex with a sex toy is good. You just need to experiment some more AND talk to your doctor.

Susan

my two cents......

Just don't avoid your husband. That will hurt your relationship. Have you tried riding him? Woman on top makes for good friction. That's the best for my wife anyway.
Guy