Hey Susan.. I've got two questions that i've tried getting answers from for a while.. but never seem to find mature answers that are worth listening to.

So i hope you can help:

first one.. i can orgasm perfectly fine and well when i masturbate.. but when i have sex, or when my bf touches me i don't cum at all and never have.. i was wondering why this is and if there is anyway of remedying it?

Second one is that when i do have sex, it hurts.. a lot, but the thing is.. is that i've had sex at least 30 or so times with my current bf, and i've been in 2 other long term relationships which resulted in sex but it STILL hurts.. like first time pain. I don't know why. My boyfriend and i use lube etc but nothing seems to help, any ideas why it still hurts and how i can stop it hurting?



thanks

OK, since you can orgasm perfectly well when you masturbate - that means nothing is wrong with your ability to orgasm.

When you say your boyfriend touches you - do you mean he touches you in the same way you masturbate? If yes, they you have a psychological problem and need counseling.

If no, then teach him how you masturbate and have him learn to do it the same way you do.

If you answered yes above and you have a psychological problem - that could be causing you the pain during sex. Sex can be painful physically, but it can also be psychologically. He feels like real pain to you - it is real pain - but it may not actual have a physical cause.

If you answered no above, the problem could be a variety of things. If sex has always hurt you may be too small - have you ever masturbated with something inside you or inserted a tampon - did that hurt? It could be your position - some positions are more likely to hurt than others for women with specific bone structures - try different postions.

Let me know what of this makes any senss to your situation and maybe I can help you some more.

Susan