I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 months and last night we became intimate for the first time. I'm ashamed to admit, I was completly horrified and devastated when I finally touched his penis. I've been with enough guys in my 30 years to know that its not normal to have a penis this small. Its not that its small in length its small in girth and the length isnt so great either maybe 4 to 5 inches. I didnt think it was possible to be so small that way. I was ready to tell him I love him until this and now I'm so confused and distraught I just dont know how I feel. We have conected on every possible level and were taking it that final step. Our relationship is/was the perfect loving respectful relationship I have ever been in. He has no Idea how I feel right now, I hid my feelings well and we did not actually have sex because we did not have protection...do they even make condoms to fit someone with no girth whatsoever? Are there other people who you've heard about like this? I feel like such a horrible person for thinking I might not be able to spend the rest of my life like this. (before last night I had decided when the time was right I could see us married) I enjoy sex very much and believe its a very important part of a loving relationship. I never thought size mattered until I discovered this size. Help, what do I do? I'm devastated, you may think I'm over reacting but this is the biggest disappointment I have ever felt. The cloud I've been walking on for the past four months has now disapeard and I've hit the ground hard.
Sue I'm desparate for any advise. He is a great guy, he deserves to be happy, but do I deserve to sacrifice my sex life already at 30. Sex is not everything, but it does matter to me.
Please give me a clue
Since you just were intimate and didn't actually have sex - are you sure he was actually was as erect as he would be when he was ready to have sex. Since you knew you didn't have protection this might have intimidated him a bit.
There are lots of guys who are very small and get erect to a normal size when they are ready for sex. (I tease my partner and call his my little mushroom.)
Some guys can have a condition called a micro-penis - and this could be the case. Do you know if he has been intimate with other women? Did he seem at all as if he was concerned with his size?
Some guys who have small penises benefit from the use of Viagra. Viagra usually makes a penis thicker and sometimes a bit longer too. ( When he sees the doctor to get Viagra - the doctor could have other suggestions, too.)
Guys with small penises also seem to learn how to mke up for their lack in the penis department by learning how to use other parts of their body ( fingers and tongues) for sex really well.
I GUARANTEE you a lover with a small penis is not the end of the world and sex can be still be incredible!
Susan
Clay (no login)
Re: unusually small penis
February 21 2005, 11:20 PM
I would suggest that you buy a dildo and maybe a vibrator from a sex store and use them to pleasure yourself. He could try sexual enhancers like Viagra or Cialis and see if that helps. I don't think you should break up with him just because his penis lacks any thickness. It is hard to find good people these days, and if the two of you are otherwise happy together then you might as well stay that way.
By the way, how thin is the shaft of his penis anyway? A few inches in circumference maybe.
Clay - edited - because you have reverted back to not thinking about how cruel some of what you say sounds to others. Susan
This message has been edited by Xuxan on Feb 21, 2005 11:44 PM
Sue
I'm very sure he was fully erect. I've never heard of micro penis but I'm sure that has to be the case. He didn't seem at all concerned about his penis size and I have never asked him about his past sexual partners but I know he has had several long term relationships in the past he is almost 40 years old. I feel like he should have told me, but he must have been hoping it wouldnt matter to me. The thing is it does. I know there are toys and I'm not ready to just give up on our relationship. How would I even suggest viagra... he things everything is still wonderful between us. How can I even bring this up without making him feel like less of a man? I dont want to make him feel bad... I guess I might not have a choice. I dont want to use toys. To be frank I love intercourse. I know there are other ways he could please me, but I know I will miss the real deal. I'm over the shock, now I'm just a sad. I'm not breaking up with him, In fact I'm going to sleep with him for sure this weekend because now I have to know how it will be. I fear I will not even be able to feel it inside. Do they make a condom for a micro penis? His circumference is about that of your thumb.
I'm so glad this board is here, thanks so much Sue. I dont know what I would do if I didn't have someone to talk to about this.
Anonymous (no login)
Re: unusually small penis
February 22 2005, 7:15 AM
Sue
I just did a search on a micro penis and that is not what he has. He has about 4 inches maybe, it was dark... give or take. Its just really really thin. I'm going to have sex with him this weekend with a positive attitude. I don't know how to talk to him about this. I guess we just wont talk about it. He really is a great guy.
Width is actually usually more important than length. 4 inches is definitely not a micro-penis.
As to condoms - you can go the link below -where it says keep this site ad-free and then click on the condom link on the top left. Then go to the form fitting condoms.
I have some other ideas for you - but why not get back to me after the weekend and we can see what happens.
Viagra is nothing to be ashamed of needing to use. It a medication designed to enhance the sexual experience of men who would benefit by a little help. I consider it a girl's best friend. Bring it up as something to make sex better - not becuase he is inferior,but because the technology exists - whynto use it????
Relax and have fun this weekend.
Susan
Clay (no login)
Re: unusually small penis
February 22 2005, 4:49 PM
Dee, always feel free to post your questions/concerns here. Susan has dedicated her time to help people with sexual questions.
I'm sorry to hear that your boyfriend's penis is about the thickness of a thumb. But it is about 4 inches in length, so I guess you could make the most of that. You might want to try sex positions that make it easy for him to penetrate you. Maybe doing kegal exercises will make your vagina tighter and accomodate his small penis better. You could also buy a strap-on-dildo for your boyfriend to wear during sex. Just casually introduce it to him and he shouldn't be too upset.
You also mentioned that you feel that he should have told you about his penis size before. Did you honestly expect him to say "oh by the way, my penis is very small, but everything else works fine?"
Most guys are very proud of their "manhood." You'll have to have a talk with him about it sometime or another. Better sooner than later.
Good post Clay,and well thought out, and Gregorio is proud of you, but I'm going to disagree with you on just one point.
You stated that most guys are proud of their manhood.
I'm going to state that SOME guys might be proud, but MANY guys are VERY insecure about their size..many feel it is too small even if it is of "normal" size......which is why there have been many posts here and other sites asking about methods that will enlarge a penis. These guys are so afraid of being rejected and quietly laughed at after the final "unveiling".Others take a tape and measure it often to see if it is growing bigger. Many continually look around the locker room, etc to see how they compare with their fellow man. Above all this, a quick look at a well-endowed performer in a porno, is bound to leave them feeling short-changed by mother-nature and sorely inadequate.
Many guys feel that a mate may leave them for a guy with a larger penis for fear that it does a better job.
Is there an easy answer? No. A man can feel better by knowing all the sensual plumbing is at the beginning of the vagina, like Susan stated, and that Viagra type enhancer helps.
And the mate can really help, especially if it is a serious, loving relationship, by reassuring him often that his penis is perfect just as is, no matter what size it is, as long as it fits and works right..
However, if the size (too big or too small) is an overwhelming issue, the relationship should be questioned before it goes too far.
"Little" Gregorio
Clay (no login)
Re: Big or Small Issue
February 23 2005, 11:04 PM
What I really meant to say was that the guys with smaller penises are sensitive when it comes to thier penis size. They know that men in porno films have large penises and may feel insecure with thier small penis. The guys with average to larger penises are quite proud of thier manhood.
Guy (no login)
I have an idea...........
February 24 2005, 12:54 PM
his dick won't feel so small if he puts it in your ass. Do you like anal?
Sometimes I wish mine was small, but it's too big for most women I have met. Or they're just the wrong women?
Guy
dee (no login)
Re: I have an idea...........
February 25 2005, 6:57 AM
Yes, I did think about that... every possible thought you could imageing has already went through my head. I'm not into that but It might be something I could get into... I guess time will tell with that I'm not ready to even suggest it. He mentioned to me that he has never found a condom that fit right. I'm wondering if he has tried the snugger fit or if even those are too big for him.
Tonight is the big night. I'm really trying to stay positive. Its just still very unsettleing but I will give it my best shot to make things work.
Clay (no login)
Re: I have an idea...........
February 25 2005, 4:23 PM
Good luck Dee. I hope everything works out for you and your boyfriend. Hopefully his penis will not be too small for you to get any enjoyment from sex. Make sure to engage in foreplay to give his penis a chance to get fully erect. A few viagra pills wouldn't hurt either.
NEVER a few Viagra pills - see Gregorio's note to follow.
This message has been edited by Xuxan on Feb 26, 2005 8:24 AM
Clay...I really hope he doesn't take your advice, and I'm surprised Susan let this one go by. She must have been tired.
It was mentioned that this was THE night.
You said: Make sure to engage in foreplay to give his penis a chance to get fully erect. A few viagra pills wouldn't hurt either.
A few Viagra pills Clay? These are not M& M'S ! The word few, as used here, could be dangerous and could hurt. Susan will tell you that side effects from sex enhancers can be very painful. Muscle cramps, flushing, vomiting, diarhea, etc. could cause serious trouble. Like in one night, how many? We don't want anybody taking a few..one 100mg could be the same as a ballistic missile, two 100 mg would way too much and give unpleasant side effects and not be any better, maybe worse. If he takes 50 mg, two would be possible. So, never a FEW in just one night. We all need to remember that Viagra can affect blood pressure so it becomes a touchy issue as to who and how much.
Viagra is a great idea Clay, only in the right dose for the right person..
I thought I would clarify that point for this person, and before some boy reading this gets into his father's Viagra and takes a few...MY ADVICE DON'T DO IT !
Gregorio...thanks for watching my back! Yes, I had some upsetting news and I remember thinking there was something wrong with the post, but just didn't have the energy to deal with it. Been trying to give Clay as much slack as possible. He's doing much better these days don't you think? On the upswing of the learning curve!Susan
This message has been edited by Xuxan on Feb 26, 2005 8:28 AM
dee (no login)
Re: Clay...A Few????????
February 26 2005, 11:14 AM
He would never take viagra...he doesnt even like taking asprin. Unfortuantely that would not be an option. I was so nervous last night I was drinking a little and I passed out on him. It never happened. I have my period this morning so Its not going to happen for at least another week. I'm so mad at my self right now but part of me thinks I might have done it subconsiously on purpose.
Sorry to hear what happened- but at least I can uncross my fingers now.
Just so you know drinking is one of the worst things HE can do. Alcohol may make you more interested in sex, but it is going to decrease the size of his erection.
Dee...just relax...you have your whole life ahead of you.
When sex happens, it happens. The two of you will look back at this and have a good laugh...which is what a good relationship is....sharing special moments, caring for each other and being able to laugh at yourselves and then going on. You'll have another chance at it in a few days and many, many more as time goes on. Tons and tons of sex...you won't miss any...promise.
I've passed out before...face down on the bathroom floor.....kaplunk....that's how come I'm so ugly (lol)....but I learned...very little alcohol for me. I'm still laughing about it 32 years later....before passing out, however, I had the longest slow-motion orgasm I've ever had...or so it seemed.
And, we are still deeply in love.
Funny how that remains etched in my mind....my very first and last drinking experience. The next day, however, was one to be remembered. OUCH!
So, maybe just a little to take off the edge and no more, might work best for you. Don't let this experience throw you.
"Little" Gregorio
Clay (no login)
Re: Funny, huh?
February 26 2005, 10:02 PM
Sorry guys about the "few viagra pills" comment. I shouldn't have said that he should take a few pills. I just meant that viagra could be an option.
Hi Clay..I love your posts.....You would be a little more sensitive to this had you had actually tried Viagra and felt it's incredible power, which makes me wonder.....you probably are a lucky young guy (I'm jealous) and don't really need it, but do you ever wonder what it would do for you? Rhetorically speaking, would you get bigger, stronger erections and more powerful, earthshaking orgasms and more semen volume? I bet you must have wondered a little bit.
Gregorio
Clay (no login)
Re: Big "V"
February 27 2005, 5:33 PM
Actually Gregorio, I have not wondered if viagra will enhance my performance, surprisingly. I think my erections and orgasms are great just the way they are. If viagra could make my penis a little bigger and a little straighter then I would consider taking it. But at most, it would probably make me have even longer erections, which I don't really want. I don't like walking around and having unecessary erections. I imagine when I'm around your age, I will give viagra a shot.
Again...another great post...Gregorio is proud of you.
Ah....yes, thanks Clay... I do remember those days...waddling like a duck ...waiting for it to go down. Doing mutual masturbation. Going on a date, coming home and taking a cold shower and drinking water to cool off.
As for yours being a little crooked, it shouldn't make any difference...in fact maybe it will ad pleasure during intercourse. You could even make light of it on an intimate date by putting on an eye patch and calling yourself Captain "Hook". Aiiiiii matey!
As for taking Viagra, it will give you something to look forward to when you get older. I believe if you took it now, you might find out you almost pass out with pleasure. It might be too much! I know kids in school have tried it, but I don't know the results.
What I never even thought of, as time goes by, is the huge amount of body hair that pops out of everywhere..I'm starting to look like the Strawman from the Wizard of Oz. Every time I look in the mirror, I've got to trim something, somewhere.
So, I'm glad that things are looking "up" for you!
Clay... In answer to whether Viagra would make you bigger and straighter, I'm not sure. My guess is that it will definitely make you wider and a little longer before you ejaculate, and give you better control to prolong that great feeling, however, it's only while you are using it.
You will definitely get a little wider as time goes on anyways and maybe that will work.
You could always try a free sample, measure and see.
You could also check Viagrastories.com for user comments and how they apply to you.
"Little" Gregorio
Your very welcome......I try, but can't always be here. There is a lot going on in my life. Next month, the toys come out so I'm getting stuff done now.
Susan...in answer to your question to me...yes, Clay is doing much better. I knew from one of his first posts, that he had a lot of promise, but realized personal issues, subconscious biases and a slight degree of insensitivity were influencing his answers.
You can take a lot of the credit for his improvement when you modify his posts to read correctly so as not to offend your readers. Maybe now, he's almost good to go....he is certainly much more polite. I like Clay...he's pretty sharp on stuff he knows and has experienced....and ads value to this site. I'd love to be his age again.
I hope your news wasn't too upsetting...I figured something was up, but didn't know what.
I'm still trying to put a little humor in my posts, even if you don't always post them, you can at least laugh.
I still would like to see this site grow bigger and more profitable.
The upsetting news related to Terri Schiavo-a woman with a brain injury in Florida who is going to be euthanized. I have followed her life for the better part of seven years and take her pending death very personally. It is going to be a permanent black mark on the American judicial system.
There is quite a bit to this story. It would be nice if her quality of life could be returned. This judge's decision will make her suffer even more; that in itself makes no sense to me.... she doesn't need that..why would anybody do that?
It's hard to know if there is a clear answer...a stomach tube is not considered as "artificial means" and much of her brain functions normally. So, she really isn't on "life support" as it is commonly defined.
So, with all this going on,I can certainly see why you are upset.
Gregorio
That is the part that makes no sense to me. Every opportunity there is for her to have anything that might help her quality of life change is denied her. That her husband wants it is no surprise - it is the judicial system's willingless to be complacent and support his decisons is inhumane.
The bottom line, to me, is that no person or group of people should ever make an innocent sick person suffer needlessly...a person should be kept as comfortable as possible before and after determining quality of life cannot ever be returned.... with their private wishes concerning life or death, carried out humanely as possible.
Maybe someday there will be eternal peace for her, and for others that suffer needlessly. We don't make our pets suffer with pain and discomfort...why should a human deserve less than that?
Gregorio
Clay (no login)
Re: Clay...A Few????????
March 2 2005, 6:53 PM
I agree with Gregorio. If someone is suffering from a terminal illness, he/she should be allowed to be euthanized if that is what his/her wishes are. Some will argue that euthanasia is the same as suicide, since it involves killing oneself because of physical or emotional pain. Suicide usually involves emotional or mental suffering, while euthanasia involves physically ill or terminally ill people.
Clay reread the posts. You are not addressing the issues at hand at all. I'd respond to what you wrote, but I'll first give you a chance to catch-up. Susan
This message has been edited by Xuxan on Mar 2, 2005 7:17 PM
Dee (no login)
Re: Clay...A Few????????
March 10 2005, 6:56 AM
Susan
I was looking on the sex toy area of this web site. I noticed the penis extentions. I was curious, do they hinder the experience for the guy? I cant imagine that it would be the same. I knew about toys, but didnt even relize that they made this type... this gives me some hope. I still have not slept with him yet, but probably will test the waters this weekend. I know i will be back for more advise from you after that.
Also, does viagra increase the time before a guy cums? That is also one of our problems. Although we havent had intercourse, he does come rather quickly doing other things. That is a huge dissapointment due to what I have to compare it with from past relationships.
Penis extenders do reduce his pleasure. Viagra makes a man harder, longer, thicker, last longer, and get hard quicker. It's real purpose is to help men who prematurely ejaculate. Most men can take it - ask him to talk to his doctor andsay he just wants to try it. He'll get a free pack of 6 - all doctors have smple packs to give away.
dee (no login)
Re: Clay...A Few????????
March 13 2005, 8:13 AM
Susan
Its done, its over, it was very disapointing, I couldn't even feel him inside me for the 6 seconds he lasted and then he got a little upset with me for mentioning if he has ever thought about trying viagra. Does it make me a horrible person to want to end this relationship? The whole experience was horrible and he couldn't even try again an hour later.
Only you can make the decision whether to end the relationship or not. Sex is an important part of an intimate relationship. If you think this is going to stop you being seriously interested in him for the long haul -- than it is best to end it now. If you really want this to work badly, you could give it some more time and see if you can convince him to see a doctor. But I would set a time limit on how long you are willing to let this go.
I don't know when you brought up the Viagra, but it might not have been the best time to discuss it when you had just had sex. It really is sad that men think of Viagra as being something that represents to them that they are failures when they should utilize it whenever it makes sense.
You are very young. Too young to settle down with a guy who you think is not going to be the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Break loose now, or give him some time to think about the Viagra, but don't compromise for less than what you feel is important for you to be happy in a relationship. A breakup now is better than a breakup in 6 months or a divorce in a few years.
Sex is important. You don't need to feel badly for believing that. It doesn't make you vain or shallow, it makes you aware of what you want and need to be in a good relationship for yourself.
Susan
Dee (no login)
Re: Clay...A Few????????
March 14 2005, 7:03 AM
We were talking and he said how he puts too much pressure on himself and that he was tired, and never had this problem before and that next weekend will be different. I'm not buying it. Then he was talking about how he has been doing excersises to prolong his endurance, but he has no endurance whatsoever. Its the third time he has ejaculated prematurely but insists he has never had this problem before. I think that he is being dishonest. When I mentioned the Viagra it was several hours later. He said that he is not willing to do that just yet but didnt rule it out. I feel too much guilt not to give him a few more tries but ultimatly I don't see it working out. Thanks for all of your advise and making me feel better. Sex is important!
I cant help but wonder why god didnt create all men equal, but that is a whole other topic and not for this message board.
Clay (no login)
Re: Clay...A Few????????
March 14 2005, 4:01 PM
Dee, I think its time to move on and find someone else. Since sex is an important part of your lovelife, its only a matter of time before you find someone else and possibly cheat on him. Before that happens, its probably better to just break up.
If you see a reason to continue this, there is another way. Get pleasure condoms for a womans
pleasure.
http://www.trojancondoms.com/Her_Pleasure/main.asp
Be aware that it may not be big enough or tight enough with this condom.... even with Viagra.
You could break it off, but for some other reason besides size...like you like different things than he does or you're not quite ready for a serious relationship.
Because good sex is so important.
Gregorio