Hi,

I found your site last week, and have read much advice that has been given. I bet a lot of people are extremely thankful for your help.

I am a female nearing age 29, in a live-in relationship with a 46 yo male for two years now. His sex drive is low.

I can't sum up everything, so please forgive me. Here are just some basics. My partner is quick to reach his peak, averaging somewhere from 2-5 minutes. I have previously had encounters that lasted well beyond an hour. Although I try not to compare things from one man to the next, I have a hard time with the endurance here.

I have a difficult time obtaining the big O. But I do have techniques by which to reach it, usually I WANT to include an erect penis.

He used to concern himself with my satisfaction, but lately, I think it is just troubling him that he cannot cause me to reach the big O on his own.

This man does not LISTEN to me, so his failures in these areas are now chosen.....

Anyway, while looking to decrease my own sexual desire (to improve my satisfaction with my partner,) I found your site. I LOVE this man. I also am aware of the fact that women reach their sexual prime in their thirties, or thereabouts.

Does anybody know of a way to decrease sexual appetite in a woman? Herbally, by some type of medication, or otherwise, I think this is what is bes for my relationship.

Thanks in advance,
sam

Sam,
I once had the same problem as you. I found nothing helped.

In the end I had to embrace masturbation. Just do it. Enjoy it. Relish it. And it he feels bad that is HIS problem, not your problem.

Very few men can keep a woman at her sexual peak happy - so it isn't entirely this man's fault. Every woman needs to know how to satisfy herself by herself - because it is the rare man that can do when she is between 30 and 40.

Susan

Men have a lot of trouble accepting advice from their woman....they like to think that they are in control and know everything....a response usually similar to asking them to ask directions while driving. For a man, a woman's sexual needs are hard to understand and a complete mystery. They need to ask for directions here too, but don't.....so, they remain lost.
Susan's idea about masturbation is valid,and can really help, but don't give up just yet. This is a real problem that needs to be solved....it's what a relationship is all about...loving, caring, and understanding. Talking is part of that. When you have a problem, talk about it (not just at sex time)..... he should listen.
If you cannot get thru, seek professional help where both of you go.

Thanks for your advice.

I feel very guilty when masturbating, like I am taking back what I said I would give to him. As I am, I probably do so up to 7 times a week anyway. Sometimes, when I think I might get lucky, I wait till we connect in the evening instead.

I can masturbate with him, before or after intercourse, and he is very physical , providing lots of foreplay. He enjoys this, but I still feel the lacking of physical comfort I used to feel after sex.

After all our discussion on this matter, I feel you are likely right, that masturbation will be my only outlet. Who wants to keep beating a dead horse? I seriously think that eventually, this will not be enough, though.

My sexual relationship has become frustrating at best...

Thanks again, though!
sam

Maybe Sam should consider buying a vibrator to pleasure herself. It might be a better option to stimulate yourself Sam, rather than try to find some drug that reduces your sex-drive (libido). A dildo might be another option.

Sam... sex and gettimg off is one of the pleasures we humans have. Do not do any thing to lower your sex drive... its to bad your SO is not the same way as you are.... I would by a dildo or a vibrator for your self.... and last but not least get your self a fuck buddy..... JMO... My number is 478-873-xxxxx LOL

At what age does a man usally lose there sexual drive?

Masturbation during sex deprives him of nothing. He can enjoy your pleasure. He can learn from you from watching you what you need. Women have have an unlimited capacity for orgasm.

Men and women never lose interest in sex hopefully. Men slow done often around 30 and women speed up.

Susan