Second topic I need advice on... my boyfriend is up for Anal sex. He says whenever I'm ready he is game, but he never pushes the issue because i'm really uptight and a little scared about it. He has done this before, I have too technically, when I was a teenager I had only one bad, painful experience with someone uncaring and too rough who didnt ask or prepare me for it and it was very tramatic for me.
He is so good to me and I know he loves me dearly. I would love to be able to please my boyfriend in as many ways as I can so how do I get over my hang up/fear of this? I really want to be able to experience this with him. Cleanliness is one an issue for me, pain is also an issue. I've been to this site and read about it, but that really only gives information about toys and i'm not interested in toys for that.. just me and him. Is there anything I can do physically to prepare for this? If they had a book called "Anal Sex for Dummies" I'd buy it. Help!

First of all, you need to decide whether or not you really want to have anal sex. If you don't, that's fine. Your boyfriend will just have to deal with it. Many men don't enjoy anal sex or anal play, so why should you have to?

If you do decide that you'd like to try it again, here are some tips:
1. Use a condom
2. Use lots of lubrication (You can buy some at the pharmacy, grocery store, online, whatever)
3. Have him rub the anus area first with his fingers. It should feel pleasant and it'll help relax you.
4. Start with him putting one finger in you, very slowly and gently. Keep at this until you are comfortable. One of you may also stimulate your clitoris or vagina to further relax you and add to pleasurable sensations.
5. When this feels okay, have him work his penis inside of you. If it hurts, say so! You can stop and try again later, don't worry. If it only hurts a bit, you may want to grin and bear it for a second until he gets a few thrusts in. It should start to feel more comfortable at that point.
6. For beginners, you might want to try him lying behind you as you lie on your side (spooning). It seems to be less painful that way.

For cleanliness, all you really need to do is take a shower beforehand and use a condom.

Hi Susan,

Okay, so I think I'm in the same situation as Dee except I've never done anal before. But I'd like to try it. However, I am self-conscience about cleaniness etc. and I don't really know the right way to do it. Other than a shower and a condom, don't I have to clean the inside or anything? I'm really confused.

Also it would be my boyfriend and my first time doing anal. So I would like to know everything and anything having to do with anal sex. (Other than what you've already written down for Dee's previous post about anal).

Thank you so much!
Christina

I didn't write the previous post. But I can add the following.....

The anus is a very clean part of your body for the most part. The area where you have sex is usually pretty clean inside and unless you have an enema not much more you can do to clean it.

Depending upon your anal health you may ooze out if you are loose, and you may get constipated if you are very hard and he goes in deep.

Anal sex can be very messy or not much different than other sex - no way to really know until you try it. And if you are worried about see fecal matter on his condomn- then you might as well forget doing it because that possibility exists.

People who love anal sex have gotten over the embarrassment of what might happen.

Well let me add my 2 cents into anal sex....

I enjoy anal sex very much... When I first start out with a female friend that hasnt done it before, I start very slow... first with fingers while having regular sex until she gets to know the feelings and pleasure of having her anus invaded, then proceed after a few times to lube her anus with lots of lube while i gentle put my cock head in her anus. I not try to put it all in until she is very comfortable with it and wanting more of me. It takes time, but well worth it in the long run. I dont use a condom, dont like them, after were done I either take a shower, or have a wash rag to clean myself.. and take a good piss to flush out any bactera that may be present. I have been doing this for many years, and the woman in my life get to enjoy anal sex just as much as I do,, maybe more...

I WAS WONDERING DO YOU COME INSIDE HER WHILE DOING THE ANAL SEX, AND IF SO, HOW DOES THIS AFFECT ON HER HEALTH

Ejaculation causes no harm to health what-so-ever in the anus.

Yes....... I always cum inside her Anus..... and why not ??? Its just frigging wondeful. That is one method to use for couples who dont use Birh Control. Absolutly nothing happens to her when you CUM inside her Anus...The Anus is self cleansing, true there may be specs of fecus when I pull out, but to me its well worth the pleasure we give each other. If you cant handle that thought, then Anal sex may not be your cup of tea.


One Important thing that Susan always says.. use LOTS OF LUBE. Plus prepare her anus before thinking of putting it in there. Once she is broken in, "HAS DONE IT OFTEN" it becomes a lot easier.


Plus when using lots of lube, and pull out, nothing really sticks to you. Just use some normal sanitary method to wash / clean your self... AND ALWAYS TAKE A PISS AFTERWARD. Good advice for woman also...after any type sexuall activity.

THANKS FOR INFORMATION AND TELL ME THE NAME OF THE LUBRICANTE AND HOW YOU PREVENT FROM EJACULATING FAST AND MAKE IT LAST LONGER CAUSE ONCE I PUT IT INSIDE HER ASS I JUST COME FASTER THAN THE VAGAINA, SO GIVE ME A WAY TO MAKE LAST LONGER AND FOR BOTH TO ENJOY. AND I HEARED THAT THERE IS KING=D OF A SORAY FOR PRE-LONG AND OTHER FOR SENSETIVE HEAD.

THANKS

You will always ejaculate faster with anal sex. It is much tighter and that causes you to ejaculate faster. What a desensitizing cream does is to numb your penis so you do not feel as much - so you last longer but you don't feel it very well. So do you want to last longer and feel less pleasure?

The best lubrication is called Eros Body Glide - there are others. Silicone lubrication is the best for anal sex. Thicker lubrication is better for anal sex.

You are right XXX... Putting it in her butt does make you CUM much faster... So what I do, once I am in is dont pump away, Just stay still, relax and enjoy the feel of her tightness, the feel of her muscles rippling up and down your cock. Play with her pussy and clit, hold her breasts. When you cant stand the pressure any more, then pump her good and hard. """ENJOY"""


Silicone lubrication is the best for anal sex. Thicker is better for anal sex. What I have done many, many a times is to use Vasaline. Its slippery and most important, does ***NOT DRY UP*** Just remember, it not good if your wearing protection.