Hi susan,
I had a question. Me and my boyfriend have been having anal sex more frequently than in the past. I'm a little concerned b/c he doesn't even get off about vaginal sex anymore. If I enjoyed anal, it wouldn't be a problem but I HATE anal sex! Any way, my question is this: after anal sex sometimes I get pretty bad stomach pains. One time it lasted all the way to the next morning! He doesn't penetrate hard or anything so is this abnormal? Thank you for your time!

Your stomach pains could be from excess air being forced in due to anal sex.

What you are getting is one of two things, my best guess is the first-

1. He is pushing into you and compacting everything tightly causing you to be constipated and to have a stomachache. This probably just lasts a day, but it could last two.

2. He is actually bruising the wall of your stomach (actually probably your intestine.) This might last longer - perhaps as lomng as 4 days.

Once in awhie either of these things is OK- but on a regular basis you could cause your body to start working improperly when you have a bowel movement.

If you don't like anal sex - then don't do it. It is your body and you are in control(or should be) of what happens to it. If you want to do it once in a while to please him - go for it - but if you really don't want to do it - say so- and then stop doing it.

If he has lost interest in vaginal sex with you - then perhaps it is time for you to lose interest in him.

AND I'm not sure who posted the other answer - because it wasn't me- but yes air is another possibility - but usually a big fart would take care of that and you would do that prety soon after whether you wanted to or not.

He says he doesn't want to loose interest but I notice that he has a hard time cumming when we do it vaginally. He says it's b/c the anal is new and so he has alot of interest that way and vaginally he can't feel me that much. This really hurts me self esteem. Should it? We did just have 2 kids. Thanks again!

You've had two kids - so your vagina is going to be looser than it was. You need to do kegel exercises to tighten up. And your boyfriend needs to grow up a bit and understand that as men and women age their bodies change.

Sex is about the enjoyment of two people not one. If you do not enjoy anal sex - don't do it. If he says he has lost interest in vaginal sex - then find some sex you do enjoy---oral sex? mutual masturbation? massage?

Sex isn't just about getting him off. Maybe if he concentrated more on hoew mch he cares about you he'd find the sex is better.

I agree with Susan about 2 enjoying sex and not doing anything you don't feel comfortable with.
Personally, I believe, as time goes by in a marriage, that it becomes slightly more difficult for a man to perform for a number of various reasons.
So, in line with what Susan mentioned about Kegals, try doing more foreplay on him before vaginal sex. He will be bigger at that time and fit tighter and find it works much better. Don't forget a quality lube which will help take up some space also. There is also a Viagra type enhancer which will definitely make him bigger. This equals more enjoyment for both.
Gregorio

In my oppinion, the anus was created to remove wastes from the body. Not for the penetration of anything. It took the creativity/boredom of humans to start experimenting with anal sex.

www.hemorrhoid.net/analsex.php

Belinda....you wrote: It took the creativity/boredom of humans to start experimenting with anal sex.

I agree with you, but....

Male/female anal sex is also just another way people can enjoy sex while falsely thinking they will not conceive, while being somewhat risky as sperm could possibly migrate to the vagina, fecal bacteria could enter the penis and STD's could be passed.
A condom, lubrication and cleanliness is extremely paramount before ALL anal penetration, but I'm sure this is often overlooked as not everyone who ventures there, thinks this way.