Hi Susan

the first time i had sex my bf was rather small, it did not hurt and sex never hurt with him. but when i have sex with guys that are larger, it hurts. not only does it hurt at penetration, i feel the pain almost at the pit of my stomach during thrusting. what worries me is the pain when the penetration is deep..isn't that supposed to feel good? i feel this pain during positions when the guy can really go deep. it's so sharp and even happens if they guy goes slow.

i read some of your comments and you talk about tearing when tense. i think that is what happened because the next day i was in so much pain. i was also wiping away light pink fluid. i might have been tense but i find it happens often and sometimes because i know the above pain is going to happen!!

what is causing all this?? it has happened more than once with more than one guy.

thanks!!!

Hey SB,

Sounds to me like the guys are thrusting too deep and causing tears in your vaginal cavity wall.

Generally speaking the vagina is 4 inches deep but can stretch a bit during sex to accomodate larger men. If you're having sex with a guy that is longer then your body can handle then when he thrusts in very deep he is putting a ton of pressure on the back wall of your vagina (the pain during sex) and causing tears in the wall as well (the blood that you're wiping away).

If you're feeling pain during sex, tell the guy not to thrust so deeply.

Sex should never be painful. Also, always make sure you're using lots of lube!

Hope this helps!

- Mike

Mike is right on. Sex should never hurt. And thrusting too deep is a big problem for some men - sometimes because they are long, but sometimes because they think that shoving it in as deep and as hard as possible is good.

You are going to have to teach guys that when they have sex with you - you want it gentle and shallow and if they can't mangae that you can't manage them.