i started watching porn when i was 15 and now i've tried to take it out of my sex life with myself and with my boyfriend. now i find it impossible to cum without picturing some type of scene in my head!!! how can i learn to cum without needing to do this? also, some of the things that i picture that turn me on, are very disturbing. Is something wrong with me? i would never ever do anything but it makes me feel horrible and embarrassing!

I'm going to respond to you in two conflicting ways....

First - the emotional side. This is what I don't like about porn. Children (at a 15 you really are a child)have access to what you really don't understand. You are first learning about sex and you learn about it in away that just isn't the way most people have sex. And this is what happens - it saddens me.

BUT...lots of people use scenes in their head to get off. Just because you do doesn't mean you would ever do any of this in reality. I have a few very straight and narrow friends very much into sado-masichism who would never do it- but fantasize about it.

Since you are disturbed by what you are experiencing, I think you need to find a counselor willing to help you with this. I also think you need to try to practice scenes in your head that you are not disturbed by - write it out - and practice it in your head when you are alone - then when a distrubing scene comes into your head - "change the channel". At first you might find sex not to be quite as pleasurable- but over time this should help.