My boyfriend and I have been having sex for a while, but I can't cum. I know most women need clitoral stimulation and not just penetration to climax, but my problem is that I don't like clitoral stimulation. Sometimes it hurts or tickles too much for me to enjoy it, sometimes I just don't get anything out of it at all. Masturbation and vibrators don't do anything either. The only thing that feels good to me is vaginal penetration, but I never get to orgasm. I'm afraid there is something wrong with me. Is there anything I can do? I need help!

How old are you? If you are very young your body might just not be responding to sexual touch to orgasm yet. Your body has to have it hormones working and your body mature and everything working together.

Most young women can't orgasm from vaginal penetration. Lots of older women can't either. And those that do- usually only do so after a clitoral orgasm.

Are you using a lubricant? If the friction is too much for you lubricant helps.

I think you need to practice with masturbation more. I am nearly positive you can find a way to make clitoral stimuation feel good you just haven't tried the right combination of touches. Lots of women need a very slow, light touch - others want something harder or faster.

If you can't figure out alone how to make yourself feel good- you will never be able to tell a partner how to make you feel good.

Thanks for your help. I am 18, so I guess that is pretty young, but not too young. Yes, we use lubrinant, so that isn't the problem. I think the basic thing is that people keep telling me to try masturbation, but I just don't like it. I hate touching myself, so matter what I do, I can't stand it unless someone else is doing it to me. I've asked a lot of people about it and I always get the same thing, they just say I need to get comfortable with my body. Does anybody have any advice other than telling me to touch myself more? It's just so frusterating to not like things that most women love.

Ashley,

You may want to consider counseling with a sexual therapist. or if that is out of the question buy - "Sex for One" by Betty Dodson, or "For Yourself" by Lonnie Barbach. You will never be completely comfortable with your body being touched by someone else (and probably part of the reason you don't orgasm) until you feel comfortable yourself. You don't have to do it everyday - you just need to be able to experiment with different things to find out what it is you really like. Right know you are limited by the imagination and previous experiences of your boyfriend. He's a guy- he really doesn't know what it feels like to you.

Susan

Ashley,
Don't worry about what other women like. It makes you feel too obligated and that's not the route you want to go. Have you tried a vibrator? Either vaginally or on your clitoris? I personally love the vibrator on my clitoris but like you I too can't climax through sex. Do you feel comfortable with him during sex? I mean, some women can't actually climax during sex with their partner because they are shy or embarassed to. I know that sounds funny but some women are like that. I have a friend who has a hard time climaxing with her partner because she feels too shy. I told her to just let herself go and to remember that it's natural, normal, and he does it! LOL If that's not the problem, sit down some day and really think about EVERY little detail as to why you may not be able to climax. Hope I helped.
Kittara