Hello, I've been on this site before but haven't posted in quite a long time, been busy with school and work. I have a question, more of an opinion than a question. I turned 21 in Dec. I recently started to masturbate way more than usual. I'd say for about 6 months now. I do it atleast 3 times a week and it last for what seems forever because I really enjoy it and I don't want to quit; therefore, I carry on for sometimes 2 hours straight! :0 Then after I am done or sometimes while I am doing that I feel this huge amount of guilt and disgust because of pleasuring myself like this. I feel perverted. I am a virgin and have passed so many chances of having sex because I have respect for myself and am very picky. I had to dumb my ex b/c he was a nympho really. Basically, I don't want a loser guy or to date anyone just to date like many people do. I want to have a b/f that I can see myself being with in the long haul, someone I am compatable with and see a future together. Not a wham bam thank you ma'am type of relationship. I rather stay single than to date someone I don't want and am not completely happy with. So I'll stick to saying "Sorry, I have a b/f" for now until the right man comes along. (Ok, TMI, enough about my preference in men lol). Anyway, back to my situation. I really feel awful after masturbating. I feel as if I am a horny, filthy girl. Especially when I am going at it hard. Like really into it, using objects like my battery operated tooth brush. I use the spinning little metal head on my clit for hours. Also, I have an identical twin sister and she's a virgin also and she does not masturbate at all. I feel so sneaky. I know I'm being hard on myself sometimes but I want to quit masturbating but then I get this urge to do it again after I have promised myself I wouldn't. I should have been studying for a big exam but instead I got on my bed and masturbated until I got sleepy so there was no studying. I don't know I feel weird. Sometimes I think why not just have sex if I'm doing it this constantly and so rough. I also feel bad b/c of religious reasons. No reason in particular but I feel like I shouldn't be. 've become so much hornier prior to 6 months ago and I've even had phone sex with a friend. I initiated it. He's been bugging me to date. So much is going through my mind it's rediculous. I will try to quit masturbating completely. Any advice? Inputs? would be much appreciated. Thanks for reading my silly, disturbing long post.

You have absolutely no reason to feel perverted. Masturbation is a healthy sexual outlet. People who are married and having sex with their partner do it. People who are single and want to stay single do it so they can feel their sexual feelings without having sex with another person.

You are staying a virgin because you want to find the right guy. This is a good thing. A really good thing. More people should wait like you are. Too many people start to have sex when they are very young with just anyone and then when the sex is boring they think it is because sex is boring - when the reality is that they just don't know what is involved in a good adult sexual relationship.

Masturbation and staying a virgin are unrelated. One is sex alone - one is sex with another person - obviously. You have decided you don't want to have sex with just anybody. Masturbation helps you explore the ABSOLUTELY normal sexual urges you have.Please don't think if you do one you might as well do the other - they have NOTHING to do with each other.

Two hours 3 times a week isn't very often. And the fact you do it when you are under stress is very common.

Stop feeling guilty for something that is an absolutely normal thing to do. The only thing you need to do is to work at not using masturbation as a way to avoid things you need to do - like study. That can be a problem. SO mastruabte when you want to and you have the time and stop feeling perverted- because to want or need to masturbate is not perverted - it is NORMAL.


Susan

Thank you so much for responding, I feel much better. I read my post over and I find it really silly now but that's how I've been feeling for quite a long time now so it's good I put it out in the open for advice. I have been doing it more often because I've been really stressed out, the end of last year was awful, found out my dad has cancer and the beg. of this year is stressful. I must do really good in the most 2 important classes I'm taking now to get into the nursing program in school. So I've been panicing. That I won't do anymore. I'm going to go study now Thanks a lot.

Masturbation is a way to take care of yourself. With your Dad you must be feeling really helpless. There isn't much you can do for him - so what will help him is if you can hold things together and take care of yourself.

Starting school is really stressful. There is so much you must do. So much you must keep organized and concentrate on. Masturbation is a safe way to let go.

As long as you keep your nose in your books when you need to - masturbate your heart out.

Susan

Almost all girls and boys, men and women (like 90% or more) masturbate at one time or another...and it is normal as Susan says. It is also the safest form of sex you can do, especially today. What your mind is missing is the love and caring of a person to enjoy sex with together. This brings on the guilty feeling. Suggestion...do it, enjoy it, forget it. Don't dwell on it.
But my feeling, as a guy, it will be worth the wait for just the right guy. You are right to be selective because it is a lifelong commitment if serious....casual date until you are ready.
So, unless it interferes with normal stuff you should be doing, get comfortable, relax and enjoy. Be proud of yourself...you are the one exception to why there are so many divorces or breakups. The only thing you need to do is recognize when love is right,then you need to take action so you don't miss that possible once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Hopefully the guy you meet will be caring enough to give you hours of pleasure also.
Respectfully,
Gregorio

After many years of life, I have realized that there are so many problems in life that will come along and I just cannot change them....I have got to look each one in the face and deal with it as it happens. It is all part of growing older and knowing that it always can't be a sunny day. Sometimes, all we need is a good cry to make some of it feel better.

Sex is a simple body function and doesn't have a lot to do with religion. We, most of us adults, have a need for sex and there are no real rules to guide us.
We certainly don't want to use antiquated rules written years ago by superstitious people tending sheep, and rewritten many times....it makes no sense for them to tell you whats right or wrong...they didn't know. Religion can make you feel guilty for no reason at all. Today, if you use common sense for a guide, you will do just fine.

However, know that you can always come here to this very special place and that we will listen and try to help you.

Thanks again, I appreciate the advice.