Im am having some problems, and it seems to be ruining any relationship!
During foreplay i get a rock hard erection, but then as soon as it comes to intercourse, it all goes wrong for me! I either loose my erection totally or i only last for a couple of minutes. It ruined my last relationship, she just got so frustrated with me that she just stopped talkin to me or anything!
since then i have found one of the most amazin girls! The first night together was amazin, i thought i lasted pretty well, bit short maybe, but not bothered! Since then its just been crap and im scared shes going to do the same thing! Last night was the worst, she didnt want any foreplay so i found it hard to get an erection to start with, then asoon as i took my boxer shorts off, bye bye erection! all she did was say night, turned over and went to sleep. before i woke up she had gone, and all ive heard is that she went shoppin and is now home.
i think it is probably just nerves but does anyone have any tips to get rid of it???

Hey man,

You've answered your own question. I'd attribute almost all of it to nerves. It's a vicious cycle b/c once it happens you start worrying about it for the next time, and then you get nervous b/c you're thinking of it so then you can't perform and then that just compounds the nervousness for the time after that etc etc etc...

You've just got to try and relax, don't think about it.

You also might want to try not masterbating for a few days before your encounters. It might make you come sooner, but you shouldn't have a problem getting it up at least.

How old are you? Depending on your age you could also try viagra or cialis or one of those ones, but I'd definitly use that as a last resort b/c it definitly seems like it's just nerves.

You definitly should talk to your girl about the problem. Talking to her about it will make you feel more comfortable around her and probably alleviate the problem itself. It will also make her aware about how her actions are affecting you and she'll put in an effort to help you out (if she actually cares about you, which she shoule).

Quick question, when you're going from foreplay to sex, are you putting on a condom? If so, are you used to having sex with a condom?


Hope some of this helps,

- Mike

im nearly 19. Iv always had sex with a condom so it doesnt feel too wierd. i even tried masturbating with one a few time to get use to it! Also, speaking to my friend he said i might have a sensitive head and could try some creams.
Iv just spoked to her about is and she was really apologetic about last night and seems to understanding my situation!

I'm thinking that you might have some issues that need to be addressed first. Do you smoke, drink or use drugs? Are you under or overweight or extremely self conscious? Have you had a recent physical to address any health issues? Like Diabetes, high blood pressure, high tryglycerides, etc? Do you worry a lot about money? Birth control? Do you masturbate often? These can all be erection killers? It may be time to be honest with yourself.

An inexpensive and "TEMPORARY" way to overcome these is grab an over the counter sex enhancer to help build you confidence back up, but like Susan says you really need to determine and correct the cause. I think "Power V" and "Libido-Max" from Walgreens are 2 VERY GOOD "natural" enhancers for low cost compared to the "Big Three" drugs. For instance, SAW PALMETTO helps nurish the prostate. Tribulis testeris (sp?) helps replace testosterone that may be low. Maca, L Arginine and Horny goat weed will help your body build Nitric Acid, needed for erections.. And much more. Do not buy these separately, nature food stores have these herbs in a BLEND that you take daily similar to a vitamin. And these work NATURALLY and are "body-friendly." Read the label and know what is in each. Beware that they are very POWERFUL, but if they do not work for you, refer back to paragraph one!


Gregorio

One of the things you guys who get erections have to realize is that the fact you get erections ANYTIME means you have no problem with your penis. You do not have ED/ erectile dysfunction - you have an emotional problem that is preventing you from enjoying sex.

Rock hard erections do not disappear for no reason, but it is not a physical reason.

On the other hand if you never get a hard erection - it is just a soft erection or no erection at all - that is ED/ erectile dysfunction.

Doctors love to give out free samples of Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra. They get tons of samples from these companies. The companies want you to get dependent on taking a $10.00 pill to have great sex rather than figure out what is going on in your head. The free samples essential hook you via a free ride.


If you have had a good/great sex life and it is going downhill because your penis is not as responsive as it used to be - Viagra etc. is probably the right thing to try. But if you are just starting out having sex - you got to learn to train your brain and your penis to have good sex.

Susan

I dont smoke or take drugs, occasionally masturbate and alcohol (student!!) Im very healthy, i race cycles and kitesurf so im in good shape! I havnt had any need for a physical! IM going to give it a few more tries before i start any medication. My girlfriend has said she would go onto as it would relax me more, seems a good idea! Thanks for all your help, its eased my mind alot!

Hey,

Best of luck to you! Let us know how it turns out!

- Mike

Generally speaking, I understand your thoughts.. you feel that a perfectly healthy, young man can overcome small emotional hangups by changing how he thinks to improve his performance. This is true and I agree with this..

However, my feeling is that these sex enhancers are available to ANY man who wants to enhance his sex life, not only those with ED. A woman can put away a man any time she wants...sex enhancers help level the playing field. I realize that doctors are anxious to prescribe the big three to any man who is healthy and still breathing, and they are huge money-makers.. While a man shouldn't be entirely dependent on them, occasionally he can use a little help in satisfying his partner. For instance, he may begin to lose his erection on the third time around. If he can slip on a cock ring on the third penetration to make it happen, why not? Why suffer from the thoughts of failing...a severe blow to his ego and rather embarassing? The woman's first thoughts are that she is not attractive and that she doesn't excite him anymore..
Or if he is planning a lot of sex on a Saturday night, why not take some natural herbs an hour before hand and make it happen?
I prefer natural herbs because not only are they cheaper, they provide nourishment where the big three don't. And, with much fewer side effects. Nobody want prostate troubles.
I have never got a complaint about performance with or without, but performance is WAY better with. I finish and ten minutes later I'm ready to go again if necessary. These herbs produce desire, also. In her mind, she sees a bigger, harder erection with longer staying power, not only as my physical attraction to her, but better for an even more satisfying sex life..
it's what works for each of us that's important.

I ment go on top...not "onto"! i really dont want to have to rely on these kinda methods, but if it helps my confidence to start with, why the hell not!
Anyway, thanks again for all you advice!!!
Will

Hey Will...here is my plan.
Do not drink ANY alcohol for a solid week...soft drinks only and water. Get plenty of sleep, eat right and slow down on masturbation for this test. Take one or two "Power V" capsules about an hour or so before your date,do a little bit of foreplay and when you are rock hard, try it missionary style. Use lube. When you are getting that special feeling, get up on your hands, arch your back so only your penis contacts her and pump away. Watch it come alive. We are rootin for you. Betcha that works better. Next time, you probably won't need the pills. Good luck! C'mon back!

Uncle Gregorio

Hey Gregario,

I'd let him have a month or so to work out the problems naturally (by himself) before he even starts trying to use drugs (natural or not) to help him out. Sure the natural enhancers might help right away, but it doesn't address the immediate problem of what seems to be just nerves. Not to mention EVERY drug has side effects and can also form the psychological effect in his mind that "without this Power V how the hell am i supposed to stay hard?"

You don't want to have this notion in your head. Trying to figure out your own body is far better than utilizing artificial means (yes i realize their natural herbs but that doesn't change the fact that they're a drug that has side effects). These methods should only be used after adequate time and effort has been given for his own body to solve the problems.

lol gregario, i sometimes think you're a spokesperson for those "natural" enhancers =Þ


- Mike

Hey Mike--- it's simply that I'm an old fart ( can I say fart on here?) and occasionally these enhancers have become my "life raft" away from a "slowly sinking ship". Lets just say that I can't shift the "4 speed" as fast as I used to. Sometimes, I go for months without them, but occasionally I need them. I think that the big three are way too expensive. I still have an unfilled prescription for Viagra...but $10 a whack is way too much in my book......so given that choice...I go for the natural stuff. More like Vitamins than enhancers. One Viagra tablet $10....one bottle of Power V, 30 tablets...$14.
I've tried a few others with no results...these work for me, gently. So call me cheap.

One other factor all us guys deal with is....dreaded HEAT. When moving from masturbation to intercourse, you suddenly are dealing with the HEAT of a woman which can put away an erection. Maybe not the first time, but second or third. If she is on the bottom , the heat rises up. The old "johnson" can only handle so much heat.If she is always cold and keeps herself well covered with blankets, the heat can't escape...and there you are trying to mount and orgasm into a "nuclear furnace". You'd have a better chance of putting a girdle on an elephant.lol I find it best to let her cool down first and even cool yourself down. Just a few degrees really help.
Uncle Gregorio

I have my girlfriend stayin over again tonight so ill see what happens! im just gunna be confident! Ill let u know how it goes!
Just out of interest, is Power V on sale in the uk?

Sorry have no idea.

I can't help you there....however, remember foreplay, keeping yourself cool, using plenty of lube, etc. Lube up and have her build you up until you are ready to explode. Stop. Have her do it again....penetrate referring to my former post about having just your penis touching...this allows excess heat to escape and makes your penis bigger. Beyond all...relax your pelvic muscles and don't tense up...you will be fine. Cool it off with cold water and try it again. Did I say use lube?
Have fun ....Gregorio.

You need to go into a nature food store in your town and look for a similar type product. This is what is in Power V.
Yohimbe,Ginseng, Ginkgo biloba, Saw palmeto, Oats Extract, Orchic Substance,Niacin,Taurine,
Raw testicular extract, Guana extract, and Eleuthero siberian root.

mmmmmmmmmm....raw testicular extract...

lol

well i guess if it works for you and others then kudos to that! but my first advice would always be to address the problem first rather than using a supliment or pill to try and fix the problem.

I totally agree with the heat thing though...i sometimes actually just stop and blow air over myself to help cool off. My gf finds it funny but she knows why i do it so it's all good!

Cheers Uncle G,

- Mike

Things never go my way! Was a crap night out in the end, club sucked so we came back but her friend tagged along and just went to sleep on my bed.....great! by the time she left at about 330 am, my gf was out for the count! no action for me! ah well, i will just have to wait!

Will...lots of alcohol and sex don't work good. A tiny bit okay.


Mike...raw testicular extract....or testosterone. Us older guys need it.
Gregorio

I know alcohol isnt good, ive already experienced that! i dont have more then 1 drink if i go out now, saves the money aswell!
Could other factors in my life be affecting my performance, for instance, i have a lot of university work on at the moment so could the stress be adding to the situation?

Stress, alcohol, marijuana, little sleep, poor nutrition, too much or too little weight, too much exercise - can all have an impact of men or women's sexual performance.

Susan is absolutely right on that last post, as is Mike. I'm going to assume that you are relatively young, in which case, Viagra/herbal supplements et al shouldnt be necessary. I'm not meaning to step on anyones toes here, but what you have is almost certainly a case of the nerves, and maybe alcohol. Talk it over with your partner, if she's cool, she will understand. Yeah, heat can be a problem, and condoms can cause a problem, but just keep at it, remember, losing the condom can gain you a kid, and I bet that isn't what you want at this point in life. I commend you for having stuck to being safe so far.

Just keep on trying, and try not to worry too much. I know easier said than done ^_^. If you decide it's necessary, see a doc about the viagra/whatever, but only if you decide it's necessary. Every person is different, don't forget that. And while I don't want to drive the point into the ground, alcohol prevents most males from maintaining an erection, period. Be careful with it.

Either way, we all wish you the best of luck, and let us know how it turns out. Or if you have anymore questions.

Ok, i thought everything was alright with my girlfriend, obviously not! Since that night, she stayed once but refused to do anything! Now she hasnt spoken to me in 3days...very strange for her considering she would moan at me for not replying within 10minutes or answering a call. I think that night put her off me. I miss read her totally! im getting good at that!

Then you don't need her. She isn't worth the worry.

I'm not sure if you are young enough to be still in school, but if she starts rumors, I personally would tell anyone talking about you that you pounded her so hard she walked like she had a corn cob up her butt... hahaha. Or one guy I know used to rebut rumors by saying, 'She sucked the poop dick!' meaning he had done anal with her, then took it out and she starting sucking it... (for safety's sake let me say don't ever do this, it is very dangerous). He was lying, but it sure stopped the rumors fast!!

Okay, maybe my advice isn't the most holy advice, but take it or leave it hehe

Will....sorry it didn't work out. However, it is FAR BETTER to know about it now than later when you have a house of your own mortgaged from here to Sunday and 2 little rugrats hanging on your ankles. Like I keep saying to everyone here,( and especially in today's world) you should know someone very well before you have sex for anything that will last. If you are hanging on a cliff and the connection is not there, you cannot expect to change that with great sex. When 2 people truly love each other, it is a wonderful feeling. But it all takes time.