if u have herpes...an ur on the medication.....an once the sores heal again..are u able to have oral sex an sex again...aas long as the sores arnt there? an then when/if they came back....should u just stop again until the sores heal???

ok....no responses..... ????????
thanks for the help!!!!!

Hey ktbaby1,

As far as I know you can give herpes and contract herpes regardless of whether or not you are showing sores or not. So even if you don't have sores you can still give it to someone.

Susan will post when she gets back.

If anyone else knows for sure post it up!

- Mike

Sorry to take so long to get you a good, verifiable answer. I could have answered off the top of my head, but I wanted to be sure to give you up-to-date info.

Whenever sores are visible you are definitely contageous. There is nothing you can do to prevent contageon - condoms / dental dams my help lessen the risk, but do not eliminate it.

About 3 days a month your body may go through a viral shedding process. This happens most the first year you have herpes and after an outbreak. While your body is doing this you are contageous. The trouble is there is no way for you or anyone to know you are in the process of viral shedding. (Some people get a fever or chills these days - others have no symptoms what-so-ever.)

So can you ever be considered 100% safe again to have sex with? No.

Personally, I think your days of having casual sex (any kind - oral/anal/vaginal) are over. I do not think it is fair to risk that anyone gets herpes without full understanding of the risk. No one I know who is sexually active is going to deliberately risk herpes for casual sex.

What could happen is that when you are in a serious relationship with someone the risk you present to their health could be worth it to them. They could figure that since the number of days you are at high risk without knowing are low - hopefully by chance they will miss those days. Or they could figure that being in a relationship with you they will get it eventually - so why not now?

There are two kinds of herpes - 1 and 2 - either one you can get in your mouth and either one you can get on your genitals. You can have both 1 and 2. Having one does not protect you from the other. You pass on herpes without even knowing you have it yet. You can have a very mild case or a severe case - the difference is in how you feel not in how contageous you are.

There is no cure for herpes. There are medications to help it so when you do have an outbreak it is not as bad - but no cure.

Taking better care of yourself is essential if you want to reduce the number of times you have a herpes outbreak. Stress, exhaustion, poor nutrition, menstruation, sexual intercourse, and illness of any kind seems to be triggers for a herpes outbreak. So if those things are part of your life - be extra careful afterwards.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

Susan

thanks for ur help susan.........but i have another question.
wat are sum of the symptoms for the males...if they dont have any outbreak on them then does that mean they dont have it?!

Once a person has herpes they always have herpes - it never goes away.

Some people get herpes blisters, but not everyone. They open up and scab over.

Others just have a patch of red sore skin. Or a large number of tiny pimples. There can be a cut in the skin where the skin has just decided to breakdown. It can cause pain when you pee because you can have sores up inside your urethra.

You can have a fever, swollen glads, fatigue, headaches, sensitivy to light, or sore throats.

Or you can have absolutely no symptoms at all and still have it.

if someone has been told they have genital herpes.... how likely is it that the guy they were with has genital herpes??


i had an outbreak, an i went to the doctors an the test came back positive,ani still dont understand complelty how i got it...im still a virgin an the guy i was with is still a virgin..but we did oter things together.....like he fingered me an i gave him a handjob an he went down on me an i gave him head b4....can u gtet genital herpes from doing any of that stuff? an do u think i got it from my bf...but he hasnt had any outbreaks....so does that mean he doesnt have genital herpes??



sorrry to have so many questions...im jus scared.

Sadly yes - you can both be virgins and get herpes.

Yes, you can get herpes from being fingered, from giving a handjob, from oral sex - you get herpes from any skin to skin contact. You do not have to have an active lesion/ sore to be contageous.

You can not have any outbreaks yet and still have herpes.

You or he could have had an outbreak before and not known what it was.

Most likely one of you has been involved with someone before - even though you are both virgins - one of you has most likely done similar things with someone else before.

It is possible for a person who has a cold sore on their mouth to pass on herpes to the genitals of another person.

There is really no way to know who gave it to who if you both have it. You should not have sex with your boyfriend until he is tested. If he doesn't have it he should take more precautions when you two have sex - oral sex - fingering - any kind of sex from now on.

You now need to use condoms for oral sex. A condom on his penis - get unlubricated ones. And you also need to cut them along one side so they are flat to make dental dams or buy dental dams. Dental dams are put over your vagina for oral sex. For fingering and hand jobs you need to get latex gloves if you have any cuts or rough finger nails or hang nails.

You also need to use lubrication. Lubrication helps so there is not so much friction. Friction can make things worse.

You are going to need to learn about herpes. You need to understand how bad stress is for your body and learn to take care of yourself. The better you take care of yourself the less frequent you will have outbreaks.

You need to know how you can try to prevent passing it on to anyone else. You need to learn how to not be afraid to tell people you want to be in a relationship with that you have herpes - anyone you have a relationship with has the right to know.

You need to tell any doctor you have that you have herpes and you need to be sure to see the gynecologist every year for a pap smear - because you are now at higher risk for cervical cancer.

When you decide to get pregnant someday you will have to be extra careful - depending on how active your herpes is you may not be able to have a baby be delivered through your vagina and have to have a c-section. You may also not be able to nurse your baby.

I am so sorry this has happened to you. It is never fair to get a disease like this, but it is especially sad when someone as young as you get it. I can understand being scared - herpes is a scary thing to have. But lots of people have it and they find people to love and they have good lives. Herpes is not the end of the world.

Just be sure to do everything your doctor tells you to do. And be honest with your boyfriend.

hi susan
i have a quick question...
if u have genital herpes....an a guy fingers u an u give him hand jobs an blow jobs...is it possible for him to get genital herpes?!?!

If a guy fingers you and makes contact with the virsus (when the virus is live) and doesn't wash his hands well or he has a hangnail and then touches his own genitals or his mouth - yes then he can get herpes. And remember - especially the first year you really don't know when the virus is live.

As long as you do not have herpes in your mouth - you can't pass it on that way. And your hand does not carry the herpes virus. Has your boyfriend been tested yet???

no he hasnt gotten tested yet....
bc sum1 told him that u cant get tested unless u have an outbreak..wich he hasnt..is that true?

Whoever told him that is wrong. You get a blood test. The blood test tells you whether you have the Herpes virus 1 and/ or 2. If the virus is in your system and you have never had an outbreak the blood test will be positive.

He should not have sex with anyone or you with him until he gets tested. If you have it and he doesn't - then you need to think about where you may have gotten it from and tell the people who need to know. If he also has it - he could have been the one to give it to you. Then you both need to tell people who need to know.

It is extremely irresponsible to have herpes and to not tell the people who you have had unprotected sexual contact with. They could be passing it onto to other people and not know they have the virus. The only way to stop the virus from spreading like wildfire is to be an adult and face up to the consequences of having sex.

He could have never had a visible outbreak and still be the one who gave it to you. He could have herpes inside the urethra of his penis or inside his anus and not know they were there. Some people get very mild reactions.

heyy susan
i had a quick question again...since i have genital herpes...does that mean in the future when i decide to get married an get pregnant....does that mean my baby will get genital herpes?


thanks
kt!

Because you have genital herpes you will PROBABLY have to have a c-section. A c-section is when you have to have a baby surgically and not vaginally.

If your herpes is not active the doctor MIGHT let you have a baby vaginally, but then you do risk passing it onto your baby.

Susan

if u have genital herpes.. ..an u have a reacurrance...or watever its called....does that mean u could have a reacurance an not get any sores...but have the same symptoms for it...like a tingling feeling....iching an it kinda hurts when i pee...not bad but an uncomfortable feeling????



cuz i got sum medicine from my dr...for me to take 48 hrs within an outbreak....but im not even sure iif this is a reacurance or when im suppose to take the medicine an stuff like that...


im srry to ask all these questions...its jus the dr didnt give me any information on this stuff...

First, you need to make an appointment with your doctor with a parent so you can get allm the information about this you need. It is not good that a doctor does not explain this to youe well.

Different medications have different risks. And you may have reasons to want to take it more or less often than someoen else.

But in general, the medicine is to reduce your symptoms. So if your symptoms aren't bad - no reason to use it. THe medicine is not a cure.

Susan