I am a virgin and am 26 years old. I currently have a gorgeous girlfriend who I care deeply about (and who doesn't know I'm a virgin). We have attempted sex twice and it has ended in failure both times. The first time, we started making out, went through a lot of foreplay, I ate her out, and when we were about to go all the way, the phone rang. This made me lose my erection. We went back to foreplay, then when I went to get a condom, I accidentally stepped on my glasses which I had set in the floor before. These interruptions just made me lose it. I tried to masturbate myself into getting hard while putting on the condom, but I guess I just got too nervous. So, we ended up not doing it.

A few nights ago, we tried again. I had tried to make sure I was calm and not thinking about it too much, and I got hard. I got the condom on and went to put it in, and found out just how inexperienced I am despite how much I've tried to prepare myself for this event by reading about it. She was laying down and I was on top. I tried to insert my penis into her, but it didn't go in. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to spread her apart before inserting or if it would just go in. Well, it didn't go in, and I went soft after the failed entry attempt. So, again, we ended up not doing it.

We've talked about it, and she is being very understanding. She says she really likes me and that I shouldn't let this be a blow to my ego or anything. But, it's very hard not to. And the thing is that she doesn't know that I'm a virgin. She is a few years younger than me, and is sexually experienced. I don't know if telling her would be a good thing or not. It's just kind of weird to be a 26 year old virgin, and I don't know how she would react. Not just to me being a virgin, but to the fact that we've been together for a while now and I have been keeping it from her.

So, I guess I have a few problems that I need help with. I can get an erection with her, but it seems like the smallest thing can make me lose it. During our second attempt, I was at one point about to attempt to put it in, but she asked me to turn the TV off, and I lost it during the 10 seconds it took to do that. And she's asked me a few times if it's her. I think she's feeling like I'm not attracted to her enough to keep it up. I keep telling her it has nothing to do with that and that I think she is extremely sexy and I am very attracted to her. And another problem is that I apparently don't even know what to do with an erection when I get one. I want to explore her when I'm eating her out to see more how it works, but I find myself afraid to try to finger her or spread her apart. I mean, I know all the parts and I know where they are and all, but it's like it's just theory at this point. I know how everything down there is supposed to work, I just don't have the experience or confidence and I'm afraid I'll do something uncomfortable or something that will make her wonder what the hell I'm doing and suspect that I'm a virgin. And that brings me to the biggest problem, that I'm a 26 year old virgin dating a beautiful, sexually experienced 22 year old. I don't know if I should just tell her, and if I do, I have no idea how to go about telling her something so embarrassing.

I have read some of your responses to other people on here, and advice on similar forums that say sometimes when having problems like this, it is good to go a time or two seeing the person and not attempting sex so there is no pressure. I will do this until I hear a responses from you. Thank you for any help you can give.

Your losing your erections has to do with more than one thing. If you get distracted when you are erect that will often kill an erection. It you are nervous that will kill an erection. If you are worried about being discovered to be inexperienced that will kill an erection. If you don't know what you are doing and you don't aim well - that can kill an erection.

The solution to your problem is actually pretty simple. You are lucky you have an experienced woman who can show you the way. Tell her you are a virgin, She'll be thrilled. Women love to show men what to do their way.

Susan

Also....as a precaution, do not masturbate for some time before your date.
First thing, you need to be where it is very quiet...where there will not be any interuptions from doorbell, cellphone, kids, animals, etc and behind a locked door.
Make out a while till you are rock hard. Roll on the condom , quickly put on some lube, give her a tissue, and then like Susan says, have her quide you in.(Many of us guys need to be guided in.)
If at this point, you keep losing your erection,do not give up... there is help. Try Libido-Max available over the counter at Walgreens. (here he goes again, but this stuff is pretty good) Take it one hour before you start,( and it is stomach friendly) BUT do not make this a HABIT. It will ensure that you have a stronger erection, help stay focused, get you thru this shaky period and insure you have a strong orgasm or two. In succeeding times, you probably won't need it; not at your age. Libido-max is 100% natural chinese herbs,was designed for guys, works somewhat similar to Viagra,(is a little less powerful,) but has hardly any side effects, and is discretely packaged so you don't blush as you cash out..
For that one very special moment,trust me.... you will be up!

You should never be embarassed to be a virgin! This girl will probably lose her doubts as to whether you are attracted to her or not, AND be thrilled that you've chosen her to be the one!
About the spreading thing- go for it! Really. If she is experienced, she probably already has an idea that you're not very. She may be embarassed herself, desperately wanting to help and participate, yet afraid to hurt your ego.
Enjoy yourselves! "Sex" dosen't have to be so goal oriented every time, DO explore, and let her explore you. Experience or not, every body is unique, there isn't too much you can really do "wrong", she will likely tell you if something dosen't feel good to HER though.
Use lube, and let her guide you in, and you'll be glad you did!

Hey, just thought I would give an update as to my situation. It's been almost a month since I came here with my problem. I did end up explaining to her about being a virgin and all. She was very understanding about it and said that it didn't change anything. It did kinda make things a little weird though, for a little while. She had bad experiences the first few times she had sex, and was worried about whether it would end up being bad for me or not. We talked about it a lot, and decided that it was what we both wanted to do. But, it was difficult because we weren't able to get much privacy what with her roommate who never wanted to leave the apartment. But, the roommate has since been kicked out. Then she started her period, so we had to wait until that was over.

So, anyway, I stayed the night with her yesterday, and thanks to your help and her understanding, I am no longer a virgin. It's very good to know that it was all just nerves and that there's nothing wrong with my penis. She was very helpful and got on top for me and put it in. I knew I wasn't going to last long with it being my first time. I lasted around 5 or 6 minutes. She said that it lasted longer than she expected with it being my first time and the 5 orgasms I gave her while going down didn't hurt anything. Sorry if I'm making this sound like a letter to Hustler, but I'm just very happy that we were able to do this and can now have a healthy, happy sexual relationship. Thank you very much for your help!

Well old ex virgin - thank so much for the update!!! I am so glad things worked as well as I thought they could. Sex is amazing isn't it? Come on back whenever you have a question - or to be one who answers a question for the younger still virgins.