Okay, so i lost my virginity last night, =\ if thats what you would call it. I ate her out for a good 20 minutes ( i love doing that ), but i couldnt get my dick hard. so i kept eating her out while i tried to jerk my cock up, but to no avail. I said screw it and tried to throw the condom on (after i had to find it..........PARTY FOUL), =\ they dont go good on half hard, so then i ate her out again while i tried to get my dick up again! by now i was so embarassed i didnt know what to say, so then i go get her last condom out of her purse cuz im a bit harder and i get the condom on, its pretty hard to get inside her cuz im not hard, but im screwing her and I keep slipping out. Im thinking in my head how this couldnt get any worse. Then she jumps on top and starts to ride me, but i am just NOT GETTING HARD, ITS KILLING ME. i think she came because alot of juices started spillin out on me while she was on top, but after that my dick slipped out again, floppy as hell, so i said my bad, i have no idea what is going on. Then she started saying that she thought it was her fault and i felt horrible cuz i knew it wasnt and i kept tellin her that. I really like this girl, she is really nice, and she was way nicer about the situation that she had to be. She said she would give me another chance and that she doesnt look at my any different. But obviously she will, how can she not, and i feel she is just trying to not hurt my feelings. So anyways, now i dunno what to do next, im going to find it very hard and awkward to talk to her or anything, so im thinking im doomed. My pride is hurt and i feel like a failure. I still have one more chance, and now im even more nervous than last night because if i fail to get it up again she will think somethin is wrong and im sure i will be the talk of the school. If my post is too long ill shorten up my next ones susan. So any advice on how to talk to her, and most importantly i cant have a repeat, i just cant.

Let's go over details. Were you drinking or smoking? Had drugs? Taking any meds? Are you nervous? Are you conscientious about yourself? Impatient? Health issues? If it's none of these, come back here. Chances are it's one of these.

All can be erection KILLERS. And worse yet, the fear in itself that it will happen again next time.
So you got to ask yourself...what can I do to get it right? You should not be attempting sex while soft...so wait until your hard.

well, i feel i can trust you not to be too judgemental on me, but I had 2 beers or so (i wasnt feeling anything from them), i was smoking cigarettes, =\ marijuana, and i was so damn nervous she wouldnt be pleased with my size, then on top of that my nerves started getting worse as i realized ol' Slanky wasnt gonna stand at attention for me. can you possible understand how horrible i felt??? A great deal of men's pride and ego centers around pleasing women, it was like a bomb was dropped on me and i wanted to slap myself for ever trying. She loved the oral tho =)...

Donny, It is no wonder you could not get hard. 2 beers is enough to not get you hard (it doesn't matter if you feel it or not) and smoking weed isn't going to help either. Do them both and it is a miracle you could get even a tiny bit hard. Drink water and skip the weed and you might have better luck.
Susan

Hey Susan, thank you for the advice! Now i was wondering if you had any communication tips. You see, I met this girl a few weeks ago and she is really cool. I was eyeing her all night but she never gave any hints that she was into me. My friends told me that she was talking about me the whole ride home(i wasnt there with them). So they hooked us up. I am not the best talker and all, but we met for the second time last night and she was pretty straightforward about being sexually attracted to me. Okay well fast forward (cant get hard...blah blah blah...oh and btw i was pretty intimidated by how hot she was). I didnt say much to her taking her home other than asking her not to tell anyone. We kissed goodnight and she told me she wont think of me any different, and that she'll give me another chance, "next time". So now i have NO CLUE what to talk to her about. The whole time i will be chilling with her, at school or whatever, ill be thinking of my embarassing performance. Any suggestions on how to get a conversation rolling? and also, what should i tell her happened last time??? I dont want her thinking i have ED or some shit. Thanks Susan you are a Huge Help!

We certainly are not here to JUDGE you....we are here to help. However, you pretty much answered your own question. And you now know what NOT to do. So let us know how you do next time.

Donny,

First off ED is for the most part something old guys get. Young guys have what you have - first time jitters, stupid choices about drinking & smoking, and inexperience. This is no big deal unless you make it a big deal.

So what do you talk to her about? What would you have talked to her about before. Same stuff. Nothing has changed. Just because you have sex doesn't mean what you talk about changes.

Plus you had oral sex and she appeared to love that. That IS what girls love. She might not even care that you didn't get hard.

Susan

Personally, you are putting the cart in front of the horse. You meet a girl, have a sexual experience, and yet you don't really know her or much about her, but any girl who said to me,"I'll give you another chance!" probably isn't worth chasing. You got nothing to hold you together while your apart. And she probably does the same to every Tom, Dick and Harry. 'Next!"
How about, "You might give her another chance....maybe."....if everything is right.
Maybe not. Men are the agressors and belong in the drivers seat. Grow a backbone.
If not, she could be leading you around by your penis the rest of your life, a torture I do not wish on any man.

My advice: Get to know a girl well before you get serious. And sex is very serious and involves responsibility....not just a couple hours of fun. Right girl, right time, right place....the most wonderful thing in the world. Sex is the icing on the cake. Take the time to make a cake first. Thank me later.
Gregorio

Are we in a snit or what?? Those were some bold statements there...but actually I have to agree.
Donny, just because you had a sexual experience with this girl DOES NOT mean you have to again. It's a little backward- but NOW is the time to get the conversations rolling, far away from the bedroom! Talk about what she likes, her "world veiws", preferred music, and share yours. You may find you have nothing in common at all, except this one evening. Or you may find out you have alot of similar intrests- which make the posibility of a relationship much more exciting!

Perfectly said there Gregorio!

Hey mate, I understand. My first time I was so nervous I had trouble myself. (Guess it comes with the territory of lossing your virginity to a 21 year old when you're 14) She was exceptionally nice about it and the second time I did fine...Haven't had any complaints yet, and I've never left the bed without pleasing my partner. The problem the first time was anxiety. I was nervous, and when I had trouble it got worse, the more I worried, the worse the situation got. Dont worry too much man, just go with the flow next time. Maybe try a 69 next time, and dont worry about it.

Alcohol causes your muscles to relax as does weed. Erections are caused by teh tightening of the arterial muscle of the arteries leaving the penis. In other words more blood goes in than comes out causing a collection of it in the 'tanks' of the penis. this causes a erection.