MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 28 YEARS AND OUR SEX LIFE IS LITTLE TO NONE. WE HAVE SEX ONCE EVERY 4 TO 6 MONTHS AND I THINK THAT IS A BIT UNUSAL. EVERY TIME I QUESTION HIM ABOUT IT HE SAYS HE DONT THINK ABOUT SEX, AFTER WORKING 10 HOURS A DAY THAT IS THE LAST THINK ON HIS MIND. HE HAVEN'T INITIATED SEX IN ABOUT 4YEARS,I AM ALWAYS THE ONE TO INITIATE SEX. I DECIDED THAT I WAS GOING TO STOP INITIATING SEX AND SEE HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE BEFORE HE INITIATES SEX, IT TOOK 6 MONTHS BEFORE WE HAD SEX. I AM BEGINNING TO THINK THAT MY HUSBAND IS HAVING AFFAIR OR IS HAVING PROBLEMS PERFORMING. I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS? PLEASE HELP.

We, of course, cannot say if he is having an affair. However, working a lot of hours can make someone tired and not interested in sex.Then not having it becomes a habit.

Maybe talking it out is the best thing you can do. Go over your marriage vows. See if he realizes that you NEED and DESERVE a quality sex life. Initiate it if thats the only way it's going to happen..and initiate (I would guess) it at least once a week. Better at bedtime...then he can recoup in his sleep. Some men do not like to initiate sex...for whatever reason...it might be beneath them.

If he is having a problem with erectile deficiency,and he could be, there is plenty of help out there to turn it around and it requires one or two visits to a good doctor.. There are herbs that can even help stimulate desire as well as ability. Viagra can supercharge his sexual ability. Cialis can give him 36 hour ability. Levitra works too.
There is also a nearly painless needle (hardly noticeable) to give him a three hour erection in just ten minutes, if necessary. It's a matter of personal preference. Come back and let us know...we are here to help. Gregorio

I can't add more than that...great answer Gregorio!

There us was a song called "boys want sex in the morning", male hormones are at their highest then so I am told. I think it's more to do with two folks bodies
getting into homonal synch.Can he work less? can you go away together for a week end,with no agenda but each other?
Lastly I participated in an exercise with my wife once,
the gist of it is " one person is blindfolded totally
for a 24 hr day, and is totally dependant on the mate for every thing. We learned so much about each other then. I strongly suggest that you ,Consult a perfessional for details on this ,or read up on it first.
Sex needs communication they IMO are two horns on the same Goat.

Thank you Susan...I guess it's always a good idea to get someone elses opinion on any subject. Many times, they see a problem from another viewpoint....in a way just not commonly thought. However,if I keep answering questions, sooner or later, I'm going to STEP IN IT and get in trouble.
If so, please don't HURT ME !

A good Spanking by XuXan is one the reasons I come here........ Kiss me spank me make me listen to gaelic whaling songs......

Sorry, although I think I understand the dynamics behind S&M - pain and sex are never two things that belong together in my mind/body.

I was thinking[tic,of a verbal spanking]I get enough physical pain from
putting on socks.