Hey Susan, I used to post on these boards and you have helped me out in a lot of my questions regarding relationships / sex and I appreciated it.

This question is a lot more serious then any personal problems I could have.

My girlfriend (who lives in another state) visited for Fall Break. We had sex numerous times over the period, and a few times it was unprotected. I know that that was a very dumb thing to do, but in the few times that we had sex without a condom I NEVER came in her, and pulled out atleast 5 seconds prior. I understand that the precum CAN get a girl pregnant.

She said that she was supposed to get her period on Sunday/Monday at the latest, and it is Wednesday night now and still no period.

Can a girl miss her period, or have her period be delayed for multiple days for other reasons besides being pregnant? What are the chanceS?

Also, I suggested that in a couple days if she is still not on her period, to get a test. Is this a good idea?

Any advice / information on the subject would be great.

Thanks Susan.

-Nathan

Nathan,

Precum not only can, but will get a girl pregnant - and get her pregnant easily. 5 seconds before is not soon enough. Consider yourself to have had unprotected sex.

There are hundreds of reasons a girl's period can be late a few days. BUT pregnancy when you have had unprotected sex is a very BIG one. You guys have taken a very big, very stupid, very unnecessry risk.

So now the best thing to do is to wait. Wait until it is 10 days past the day you had sex atleast - and then maybe take it a second time 10 days after her period. It you take it in less than 10 days it will tell her if she is pregnant, but not if she is not.

Day 1 - after sex. The test won't be able to tell you anything.

Day 2. The test can tell you if you got pregnant immediately, but it can't tell you if you aren't pregnant. If you take the test and it says you are not pregnant - it could be a false-negative.

Day 3-7. The test can tell you if your sperm were good swimmers and it took longer to get pregnant and you are pregnant. But just like day 2, you could get pregnant day 3, or 4 , or 5 or 6 or 7.

Day 8-9 - These two days the test will probably be true, but there good be a really good strong swimmer that could still last and then be so tired that it takes a little longer to implant. So although you could take the test - it is best to wait until day 10.

Day 10 - If you take the test this day and it says you are pregnant you are almost most definitely pregnant. If you take it and it is negative you are probably most likely not. If it says you are - it is best to go see a doctor and get retested to be sure and to start getting the help you need to deal with the pregnancy as early as possible.

If it is negative - and you skipped a period. Wait until the next period is 10 days late and then take the test again.

TESTS ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT!!!!!!!

Ok, well here is the time frame.

Saturday 10/21 - Sunday 10/29

We probably had unprotected sex where I pulled out around 5 times once on Saturday, a few times in between, and once on Sunday.

When should she take a pregnancy test?

She said she should of got her period on Sunday 10/29, it is now Thursday 11/2.

The confusion comes in because you said wait 10 days after sex, well 10 days after the 21st (we had unprotected sex) has just past, but its only been about 4 days since we last had unprotected sex.

Thanks for the help.

Also, is missing a period or having a delay like this common?

If she is pregnant, are their earlier forms of abortion before full out abortion in this stage? I don't know much on the subject.

I appreciate all your help, either way, never having sex without protection again.

This is the problem with having unprotected sex. She could have gotten pregnant the first or the last time you had unprotected sex. If you take the test 10 days after the first time - it tells you nothing about the other times. So she probably needs to take more than a few tests to be sure. Ten days after the last time you had unprotected sex is the only sure time.

There are ways to take care of these issues right after you have had sex - but those opportunities are long gone.

The earlier you have an abortion if that is what she wants the better. The earlier she has prenatal care the better.

Abortions are not good for young bodies. Pregnancy is not good for young bodies.

If she is pregnant you have a choice between bad choices. Some women have abortions and move on with their lives and are OK. Others feel guilt and sadness for the rest of their lives. Some women have their babies and raise them and do well. Others - most others - have to make so many compromises that their life is never anything like what they had hoped for. Some women give birth and offer their child for adoption straight away and move on - others wait - try to be parents - and then decide they can't. This is not a simple thing to decide what to do with an unwanted pregnancy.

Some women miss periods a lot - others don't. Teenage bodies are less regular so it is harder to know if this is just late or she is pregnant.

Having sex seems like it is just a fun thing to do. And condoms seem like such a little thing and are such a pain, so why not go without? Nathan this is a hard lesson to learn and is much of the reason I keep this site going. I hope for the best for you.

Thank you, but for clarification.

Should she take a test soon like tommorrow? It has been over 10 days since the first unprotected sex. If it shows positive, does that mean that she is most likely pregnant, or could confusion come up because of the latter days of sex?

The main question im asking is, when should she take a test? Its been just over 10 days since the first time, and 4 since the last time.

Obviously, we would want to know if she is pregnant as early as possible, but I'm not sure when she should take the test(s).

Furthermore, does the abortion process take a lot of time or cost a lot of money? I hope to god she is not pregnant, but as she lives in Arizona and I live in Colorado, both minors, it would be the only real solution if she was indeed pregnant. Can recieving an abortion early (once we find out) make it quicker and less complicated? Sorry, I don't know very much at all about the issue. .

Thanks for your information and advice.

Nathan,

I hate to say this, but your questions and situation make it clear you aren't ready yet to have sex - protected or unprotected.

Having the test now accomplishes very little. Yes, if she is pregnant you know, but if she is not yet, but will be it just gives you a false sense of relief. 6 days does not matter when it comes to having an abortion. So wait until it has been 10 days after the last time.

If she is pregnant she needs to talk to her parents. If talking to her parents presents a REAL danger to her - she needs to talk to other adults. As a minor she can have an abortion and her parents do not need to know - but an abortion is not anything any woman should do alone.

Having an abortion is a medical procedure. There are risks to any medical procedure. There are different kinds of abortions. Different abortions take from a few minutes to a few hours. Most require that you visit once to decide - and a second time with an appointment to have it done. ( And if they don't require two visits - I am not sure I would use that facility as I would question their professionalism.)

The risks to having an abortion are low, but she can become sterile because the procedure does not go well or she can have a lot of bleeding or a lot of cramping & pain. She is not going to be able to go to school right afterwards or maybe for a few days. Having an abortion is not something she should try to hide or do alone.

This is very serious business Nathan. Your girlfriend really needs to have a serious conversation with her parents about birth control no matter whether she is pregnant or not. What you two are going thru now is totally unnecessary.

Susan

Thank you for the response. I think you misjudge me though, as I know how serious and important this is, I couldn't even sit in class today because of the feeling I got thinking about it. I will tell her what you said about taking the test 10 days after the last time.
If she is not pregnant, I know to always use protection. If she is, then I will let her decide what she wants to do, talk with her, and ask her to talk to her father (she lives with her dad).

I appreciate your help, Susan, I know that every day your's or another's advice helps young people. What you are doing is great for the community.

Thanks Nathan.

I am not thinking you are not taking this seriously. I am thinking that there is so much you don't know that you first need to learn what happens when you have sex and what abortion is, and what pregnancy is - and just understand what you are risking.

Using protection is good, don't get me wrong, but it is not perfect. You still risk pregnancy so you still need to understand all this. Sex is risky business. You need to fully understand the risks so you can make the best choices for you and whoever you are with.

I pray for the best of you and your girlfriend! Good Luck

<3 catlin

So Nathan - what is happening?????