"Jimmy would you put up a sign please indicating the direction and distance to the loo, we've got some new contractors coming on site and it'll save them having to ask.
"Right-oh guv"
Later that day Arthur, (the above mention guv) sees the sign Jimmy has put up.
"JIMMY! COME ERE!!"
"What us up gov?"
"Thats whats up" said Arthur pointing to the sign. "You'll get us the sack for using language like that!"
The sign read: BOGS 30 METRES.
"Oh sorry guv, I didn't think, Ill fix it right away"
Which he duly does. Later Arthur sees the ammended sign which read:
GENTLEMEN'S TOILET 30 METRES
"No No No!" Arthur exclaims. "JIMMY COME ERE!"
"Whats wrong guv don't you like it?"
"No! Ok I guess you haven't heard, the boss gets letters if he puts metres on signs" explained Arthur. "It's yards mate from now on".
Actually, pip, you've given ARM a great strap-line for our future leaflets:
"It's yards, mate, from now on".
P.S. How are your enquiries about the cause of that crash, if there was a crash, if there was a bridge, if it ever really happened etc. getting on? Perhaps by now you could share with us the knowledge you have accumulated to date on the subject?
Re: Builders Tale
May 1 2003, 11:22 AM
The lorry driver did a runner.
Apparently his load was a thousand 'one gallon' tanks and he didn't want to be accused of the worse crime of aiding and abetting imperial measurements.
But at least the government is looking into putting automatic stop devices in all vans (particularly white ones) that switch on if the van comes within half a mile (blah blah kilometres) of a parked lorry.
Tony Bennett
That lorry driver
May 1 2003, 5:44 PM
No wonder he did a runner.
He'd have had to confess to the Metric Enforcement Department that he'd just pumped up his tyres to the correct number of lbs./sq. inch.
Er, did I say Metric Enforcement Department? So sorry, the words I meant to use were 'Trading Standards Department'. They used to check the accuracy of scales but have been so busy with other things of late that instances of false weights have risen fivefold in the last three years
Pip
Re: Builders Tale
May 1 2003, 8:28 PM
I posted the message above for a bit of a laugh that I hoped would be enjoyed by everyone.
Re the other matter:
I fully intend to keep my word. Let me re-assure you that it was prompted by something that I really did hear about.
I think I should say at this point that I am not interested in trying to get anyone into trouble, but I am interested in the safety issues surrounding the deployment of Metric and/or Imperial height/width limit signs.
I won't be posting again for a while, I intend to devote more time to researching the said matter.
Ta Ta for now.
Re: Builders Tale
May 2 2003, 11:25 AM
....could be a while then....
Pip
Re: Builders Tale
May 3 2003, 6:45 PM
.... you hope ....
Tony Bennett
"I May be Gone For Some Time"
May 4 2003, 12:49 PM
I am reminded of the famous last words of Scott of the Antarctic.
pip, to paraphrase:
"I am going away now to research a story I heard about a missing metric sign, or may be an amended metric sign, leading to the death of a van driver who crashed into the back of a stationary lorry whose driver had failed to understand that the bridge was too low for his lorry and as a consequence got his lorry stuck under the bridge. I may be gone for some time..."
I do sincerely hope that this message is not some sort of omen