I didn't think that Lolita was about love. I thought it was about focusing your attention on an object of desire, and obsessing over it to the point of being out of control. He spoke beautifully about his feelings for her, but I can't believe they were really about her as much as she was the chosen object of affection -- one that he needed in order to fulfill his goal -- which was only to find a young body that could tease his imagination.
There was nothing loving about this man, in my mind, and his willingness to kill for her was not a response to being in love, as much as being obsessive, and possessive.
It is a fantastic book in that it is exquisitely thought out, and thought provoking, but like Werther he was beautifully obsessed to the point of destruction, and incapable of channelling his feeling into a constructive formula, but unlike Werther I think his interest in Lolita was dishonorable, and purely sexual.