I didn't think that Lolita was about love. I thought it was about focusing your attention on an object of desire, and obsessing over it to the point of being out of control. He spoke beautifully about his feelings for her, but I can't believe they were really about her as much as she was the chosen object of affection -- one that he needed in order to fulfill his goal -- which was only to find a young body that could tease his imagination.

There was nothing loving about this man, in my mind, and his willingness to kill for her was not a response to being in love, as much as being obsessive, and possessive.

It is a fantastic book in that it is exquisitely thought out, and thought provoking, but like Werther he was beautifully obsessed to the point of destruction, and incapable of channelling his feeling into a constructive formula, but unlike Werther I think his interest in Lolita was dishonorable, and purely sexual.

I began to wonder if I may have miffed Ruby by stating that Humbert wasn't a loving man. If I did, I would like to apologize. Having been in relationships where an obsessive, jealous mentality was wrongly construed as loving, I have learned the hard way that love is about being loving, even if it means letting someone be or do something that works in another direction. Needing to feel loved, and wanting affection often confuses us into thinking irrational feelings are good - because they seem passionate, but I think now that those feelings are more about the person who is having those feelings than the person who they believe they think they are having the feelings for.

My sister never read "The sorrows of young werther" because she said it was too depressing. Funnily, it was my favorite book of all time. I occasionally like to be depressed, and enjoy a good cry. Werther was very selfish too, though. I felt sorry for him, and wanted him to find happiness, and could empathize with his desires, but he was very hurtful at the end, and that was not loving, and that is not proof of love but proof of immaturity. We all face rejection and we must be able to handle it with grace, and be loving to the other in spite of what happens no matter how difficult.