So sad, My sweet Kalani is gone now....

As some of you may remember, she's been with me for almost 11 years. She has been such an important part of this family, I don't know how to stop crying. A couple of years ago she battled cancer, was a vital part of a cancer research program that developed a new treatment for breast cancer. She was such a good patient that they never had to tranquilizer for any of the procedures. She even was videotaped to show others how the procedure is done. She ended up getting her leg amputated and went on to live another 2 wonderful years as a 3 legger. She was my sweetheart, one of my kids, my friend - my best buddie. Yesterday we awoke to what must've been a horrible night for her. She had uncontrollable urination and vomiting. She hadn't eaten much for the last day and all of a sudden looked so frail. She kept drinking water and then throwing up to the point of dry heaving. We took her in to the emergancy room and they said that they could feel tumors surrounding her lungs and that was why she was having trouble breathing. They said that it was a miracle she lived this long, that she should've died a year ago. That there wouldn't have been any cure. I was shocked. This wasn't her regular doctor as it was Thanksgiving and they were closed. A few months ago she had oral surgery and they didn't say anything to me about any problems, they took blood tests before the surgery. She was so healthy looking and so happy and strong. Maybe it's better I didn't know for I would've worn myself out looking to the end of the earth for something to cure her. Right before they put her to sleep she sat up and looked normal again. I so wanted to just take her home but they said she would die a horribly painful death as the tumors got bigger and suffucated her. I held her to the end. She was the good patient as always - so trusting, so loving. At the every last second she knew something was wrong and I had to hold her tight and just kept telling her in her ear that she was going to be alright. That God would love her just as much as I did. That I would be looking for her up there someday. Then she was gone. A cremation service picked her up and the will take a paw print and put it on top of a small boxed shaped urn. I don't know if I should bury that up to the top leaving the paw print to show and put her next to my precious Kiki ( our 15yr old chihuahua who Kalani thought was her mommy), or if I should keep that in the house? How long will I feel like this? I keep looking at the empty space where her bed use to be. Everytime I peel an apple I expect her to come hopping around the corner with that beautiful face of hers all lit up cause she loved apples. How long before I can think of her and not cry?