Windstorm Chapter 14.June 17 2006 at 3:35 PM
|Rikkilynn (no login)|
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That was the end of my summer romance with Shawn and even though Shawn attended my father’s funeral I never said a word to him. I felt someway responsible for his death I was the person responsible for my mother becoming a widow. If I hadn’t insisted on continuing to see Shawn perhaps he wouldn’t have left the house so suddenly and perhaps he wouldn’t have been in the accident. Maybe his thoughts that I would become like Brady plagued him so that he wasn’t focusing on the road. I didn’t know.
There wasn’t an answer. I could never take my words back or never tell my father how much I loved him. I wanted to tell him that I was still his little girl. I would always be.
I felt as though I was being punished for being sinful for almost giving into my wants for being tempted by Shawn’s kisses. For wanting more of him.
I ignored Shawn’s advances after the funeral and every day since. I debated if I was going to go to college after all. I didn’t want to leave Mama all alone. She assured me that it was best that I go. That Brady, Chloe and their three year old son Teddy would be moving in soon that she wouldn’t be alone for long. Brady was going to take over the Black empire now that daddy was gone.
I know that mama was so distraught over daddy’s death that she didn’t even notice that I had ended things with Shawn. I was suffering from a broken heart and filled with guilt.
Mimi tried her best to cheer me up but I even shut her out somewhat. Telling her I was busy or I needed to help mama or I was studying or that I wasn’t feeling well.
I only saw Shawn once before I left to go to New York. It was at Mimi’s wedding. The wedding was beautiful. Mimi wore a simple white lace gown and pillbox hat with veil and Rex looked as handsome as I ever had seen him. Dressed in a charcoal gray suite and hat. Daisies adorned the church. Of course it was in the church that my father’s funeral was held in and it was the same church I attended every Sunday since I was born.
I wore a soft yellow dress made of rayon it had capped sleeves and a white ribbon sash. I wore my hair down my natural waves cascaded to the middle of my back. With just a simple daisy tucked between my hair and my ear.
Shawn stood directly across from me. I focused my attention on them rather than taking any side glances at Shawn. I could feel his eyes on me but I refused to look at him. During the ceremony I couldn’t help picturing Shawn and I exchanging our own vows but my Wishful thoughts were stopped when I thought about Daddy not being there to walk me down the aisle. And the bad thoughts replaced the good ones. I wanted to prove to daddy that I would do what I promised him.
As soon as Mimi and Rex were pronounced husband and wife they ran outside the church and I followed behind her
All the women gathered to catch the bouquet I tried to leave the crowd of women swarming around Mimi for it. “ Belle, Catch” Mimi said and instinctively as it was headed towards my face I grabbed it.
Mimi ushered to the car that waited to take them on their honeymoon.
I kissed her and Rex good-bye
“ Have a wonderful honeymoon” I whispered in her ear. As I kissed her cheek. She pulled a part from me and stared at me with a devilish grin.
“ I’ve been waiting for this day for two years, I certainly intend on making wonderful. She winked at me. “ I’ll miss you Belle, try and work things out with Shawn. You love eachother.” Mimi said as she entered the car.
Same ol’ Meems I thought to myself. I looked at Rex“ Take care of her”
“ Belle, that’s one thing that you won’t have to worry about” Rex said giving me a hug.
The car pulled away from the church there were dozens of well wishers
To see them off and I thought that I could make my exit smoothly. I was a block away before I felt a tugging on the back of my elbow. I turned back to see Shawn I met his intense gaze.
“ Stop avoiding me damn, it” Shawns grasp tightened his eyes pleading.
I tugged at my arm that was in his masculine clutches. “ Let me go” I yelled.
“ Not, until you talk to me” Shawn’s voice hardening.
“ Shawn, I don’t have anything to say to you.” I said avoiding his eyes.
“Yes, you do.
“ What Shawn? What do you want to hear? I said trying to still escape his now forceful grip.
“ You know what I want you to say,
“ It’s over Shawn” I stopped fighting his clutches and stared at him with pure determination to make him understand that what was had was gone.
How can you say that? I know that’s not how you feel. He grabbed my hand and put it on his heart. I poured my heart out to you, that’s something I have never done and now your dismissing me like I’m some type of nobody. Like I meant nothing to you. Like you don’t love me. When I know that you do.
No, Shawn I don’t love you. I thought that I did but I was just being a stupid girl.
Shawn pulled me into his body and pressed his demanding mouth on mine. Crashing onto my lips I was stunned and for a moment I almost kissed him back. I broke free from his grip once more and stared icily into his brown provocative eyes. I raised my hand and slapped him across his face.
Tell me that you love me and I will give you the world. Deny me of it and I will never forgive you.
The words escaped my mouth. I knew what he was giving me in this moment was an ultimatum.
“It’s over” I gained my composure and walked away from him heading towards my house when I realized he wasn’t trailing me I began to sob uncontrollably.
He exited my life just the way he entered without warning like a Windstorm that was fast furious and totally unexpected the only thing left behind was the debris from my broken heart. .
- Great :) - Sara on Jun 17, 2006, 3:43 PM
- I hope... - Kerry on Jun 17, 2006, 4:23 PM
- Awww.... - Jo on Jun 17, 2006, 9:01 PM
- awww - naoual on Jun 18, 2006, 7:26 AM
- Great Chapter. - Jennifer'S on Jun 18, 2006, 10:13 PM