Sitting in Bradys old loft with Shawn by my side holding a pregnancy test was surreal. I hadnt ever thought that this would be a moment I would share with him, at least not since long gone silly teenage girl dreams, and those didnt include pregnancy tests just dreams about future babies and what not.
Lacking for something to say, I asked a really stupid question I had had since wed left the drug store down the corner. Howd you know which test to buy so fast? I then immediately put my hand over my mouth. It was true that Shawn had seemed to know exactly what to grab as I stared, overwhelmed, at my choices on the shelf. But, I did not have to blurt out what I had just said. Thats too personal. Im sorry. And then my mind wandered to Shawn and some other woman waiting on the same results. Did he have kids?
Shawn looked at me stunned. I, uh, I dont know if she wants me to tell you this.
My heart dropped at that answer, and I wasnt entirely sure I wanted him to finish. Im sorry thats way too personal. You dont have to answer. Id just like to know if this baby would have siblings. But if you
Shawn shook his head. No siblings. Shawn paused before he spoke again. Chelsea. She was still in high school when she had her first child Richie. She was scared and afraid to tell anyone, including RJ. I found her at the drug store one day. Im pretty sure I hadnt been home that long. It may have been the first time I saw Chelsea since Id been home. But she was outside the drug store when I found her and she had everything bottled up in her that when she saw me, she just fell apart. It took me a few minutes to figure out what she was crying about. She thought she was pregnant. I bought her a pregnancy test and stayed with her until she got the results. By coincidence Ive been with her when shes bought the other two, but she waited for results with her husband. The test works.
I smiled at him. Shes lucky she has you for a brother. Youre still her go to person when her worlds falling apart.
Shawn shook his head. No Im not. She has RJ and he does a pretty good job taking care of her.
Im sure he does, but youre still swooping in and saving the day. Look at how youve managed everything since Michael got sick. Youve got the best doctors out here. Youre helping Chelsea and RJ make decisions. Youve got Billie contained in the waiting room. Im sure there is more.
Shawn got up and wandered to the kitchen. I followed him. Im just doing what I can to keep from going crazy. I cant let her lose Michael. Itd be like JT all over again. The look in his eyes was devastation and I knew what he was thinking about.
It wont be JT. I said as I wrapped my arms around him Leo is the best doctor I know out there for Michael.
Shawn tucked my head under his chin and held me close. I know. I did my research and Im aware of his work. I requested the hospital go after you because I wanted you here with us. I know its selfish
I shook my head and looked into his eyes. I would want to be here regardless of whether or not Im involved in the surgery. You need a friend to take care of you just like you take care of everyone else.
Shawn looked away from and glanced around the rather empty kitchen. This place is pretty bare. Shawn said. Does Brady even live here?
No. I said, barely acknowledging Shawns attempt at a subject change while I checked my watch. Its been more than enough time. We should check the test. Shawn followed me out of the kitchen back to the couch.
We both leaned over to look at the test as we sat down on the couch. I picked it up to be sure of the results. It was positive. We both looked wide-eyed at each other. Its true. I whispered.
Shawn looked down at my stomach and back up at my eyes again. So a baby?
Yeah a baby.
Wow, he said. Then a smile crept across his face and I felt relief flood my body. I grinned too as I nodded in agreement.
Then I started to panic. I had always planned everything in my life. While I had planned on having kids, I didnt have a specific plan for them. At least not yet. Id always thought I would be married first and then whoever my husband at the time was and I would decide together when we would have kids. A non-planned pregnancy was nowhere in my sights. Not that I didnt want this baby. I did.
I trembled as I thought about everything going on in my head. Shawns face looked just as panic stricken as he watched me. Are you okay?
I nodded and felt my eyes widen even more than they probably were, if that was even possible. A baby. Inever thought. Wow. A mom. I dont know how to be a mom. What am I going to do with a baby? I Words kept tumbling out of my mouth. All the while, Shawn sat quietly on my couch. I didnt know if that was supposed to be a good or bad sign.
At some point I got up and started pacing in front of the couch. I was rambling on about learning how to knit booties when Shawn reached out and stopped my pacing. Itll be okay. He pulled me back down on the couch with him, held me close, and placed our hands together on my stomach. Well get through this together. You, me, and the baby. We dont have to figure everything out right now.
Like the complication of us, I thought. But I didnt want to dwell on that serious subject right now. You mean its okay if I dont know how to knit booties yet? I laughed, trying to keep the mood lighthearted.
Shawn nodded. Perfectly alright.
I dont want tell anyone yet, After Shawn gave me a confused look, I explained, At least not until my first doctors appointment and we make sure everything is okay.
Belle, I want you to know right now that no matter what happens between us I will always support you and our baby.
I dont need your money. I
Thats not what I meant. I mean, yes, I will be there financially in any way that I can, but I know that youre pretty well off financially. What I meant was that I will be here physically and emotionally. I want experience all of this with you.
Thank you, I said as I laid my head against his shoulder. We stayed like that on the couch for several minutes without saying anything.
Have you had dinner yet? Shawn asked me.
I thought back to the last time I had ate. It had been on the plane. I shook my head. No.
Do you want to grab something at the Pub?
Yes, then maybe afterwards Leo will be in town and I can talk to him about tomorrow.
Shawn grabbed our helmets and handed me mine. I wish we had a car instead of my motorcycle.
I much prefer your motorcycle.
I know. But in your condition
In my condition I can still ride a motorcycle if I want to. Especially since I havent started to show yet.
We were walking out to the motorcycle now. Shawn gave me a look like we would discuss this issue later, but I didnt care. I wanted to ride the motorcycle. I put my helmet on and Shawn made sure that I had it tightened correctly before he we hopped on and drove off. As he did on the way to the apartment, Shawn made sure I was holding on tightly and that he wasnt speeding as we drove to the pub.
Dinner was awkward. The conversation flowed, but we talked about everything else but what we should have talked about the baby and us. Shawn took me back to the hospital after dinner and waited with me while I inquired about whether or not Leo had arrived from New York.
I hadnt been standing near the nurses desk that long when I heard, Pixie Girl! I turned around and there was Leo, one of my closest friends from med school, and the doctor I was hoping could save Michaels life. I rushed into his waiting arms and he picked me up and spun me around.
Leo, put me down. I said as I braced myself for a wave a nausea.
Whats wrong Belle? Leo asked after he heard the tone of my voice.
Just a touch of the flu, I lied. I glanced at Shawn, who looked rather concerned and jealous. He had no reason to, but I wasnt going to let him know that yet. Leo, this is Shawn Brady, the uncle of the patient.
Hello, Mr. Brady, Leo said as he held out his hand.
Shawn shook his hand. Shawn please, Dr. Julian. You went to school with Belle?
Yes, Pixie Girl here was my partner in crime many a night of late night studying.
Pixie Girl? Shawn asked.
Leo nodded and I blushed with embarrassment. Belle consumed nothing but pixie stix when she was studying. Especially blue ones.
Really? Shawn said. Blue ones? He raised an eyebrow. He knew that blue had been his favorite flavor, not mine. I would have thought purple would have been Belles color, he said, his eyes on me as he cited my favorite pixie stix.
I dont know what Leos talking about. I liked all the flavors. Still do.
I was counting on that, Leo said as he pulled a bunch of pixie stix out of his lab jacket. I squealed as he handed them to me. These are from Amita and I.
Thank you! Did Amita come too? I asked. Amita is Leos wife. She was our other partner in crime during late night studying. I told Shawn and the look on his face was pure relief.
Im afraid not. Too short of notice. Shes on the surgical roster tomorrow. She sends her love.
After we did a little bit more of small talk, I led Leo to Michael while we discussed his case and what Leo was going to do in the morning. I had said goodbye to Shawn earlier when Leo and I went off on our medical discussions, but Shaw was waiting for me later when I was done.
Ill see you tomorrow, Leo. I said as I bid him goodbye and went to see Shawn. You didnt have to stay.
Yeah, I did, Shawn said. I wanted to make sure you were alright and that everything was going to be okay with Michael and Dr. Julian.
Michael and Dr. Julian are fine. So am I.
Im just a little tired. Im going back to Bradys loft and going to sleep.
Do you need a ride home?
I shook my head then realized that I didnt have a car here. Phil and Chloe had dropped me off. I had been planning on using a taxi to get Bradys and then using one of his cars. I dont have a car here.
I do. Come on. He draped his arm around my shoulder as we started towards the hospital parking lot.
What happened to the motorcycle?
I went home and got my car while you were with Dr. Julian. I was pretty sure you didnt have a car here.
I could have gone home with Leo. He would have been happy to take me home. But I would much rather go home with you. I laid my head on his shoulder as we continued walking. He pulled me closer to him.
I would rather go home with you too.
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