spoons????
Venus was in her kitchen in her pajamas early in the morning. She yawned as she opened the cupboard door to get her usually breakfast cereal, Captain Crunch,(don't laugh!) then she got her milk out plus the bowl. She set those things on the table, poured the milk and cereal and turned on the tv.
"Ahhhh!! I forgot the spoon!!! I'm so lame!” Venus said as she went over to a drawer and got a spoon. Then she went back to her seat at the table and started eating as she watched her favorite cartoons. Then Ryo came in and sat next to her.
"Hey, Venus, ummm how are you eating you cereal without a spoon??????” Ryo asked as he watched her eat imaginary food with an imaginary spoon.
Venus stopped "eating” and looked at Ryo then at her "spoon” and back to Ryo.
"Oops. I think I forgot to get a spoon.”
"Oops is right."
Venus got up and went over to the drawer and got another spoon and sat back down to watch her cartoons.
"V, your doing it again!"
"Doing what?!” asked Venus.
"YOU DON'T HAVE A SPOON THAT'S WHAT!!!!” yelled Ryo.
Trunks came in with his hands covering his ears. "Geez, Ryo, don't need to yell so loud."
"Sorry, but it's just that V is eating without a spoon. She's done that twice!"
Trunks took a look at Venus. "Are you sure she's just not playing dumb?"
Venus looked at Trunks at the corner of her eyes. "I'm not playing dumb!! Why would I do that?"
"I dunno, why?"
Venus shook her head. "Fine I'll go get a spoon!"
She got up again and headed for the drawer and opened it up. She looked inside and. . . .
"WHERE'S ALL THE SPOONS???????” she yelled, bringing down the entire posse.
Chibi Goku tugged on her pajama sleeve. "Mommy, thief took 'um! Did did! Me wanna help!!!!!"
"Awww it's ok. Come 'ere!” Venus picked up Chibi Goku and carried him back to her seat and sat him on her lap.
"Sooo. . . .. umm Chibi Goku, you better go somewhere else right now. . . ”she told her chibi.
Chibi Goku got off her lap and walked a little ways and shut his eyes and covered his ears.
Venus continued, "Okay I'm gonna ask you guys this once and only once. WHO STOLL THE SPOONS????????????????? I CAN'T EAT MY CEREAL WITH OUT 'UM!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"V calm down! We did-"
Venus cut Ryo off, "IT WAS MY ALTER EGO, CHRYSTAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO WAIT! SHE'S. . . ” Venus took a breath and shuddered "nomal. But who stole the spoons. Maybe other people are missing spoons too. I wonder if there's somebody as original and creative as that"
"V are you all right? You complimenting a criminal that stole you spoons and you want them back so you can eat your cereal. That's just not normal,” said Trunks, putting his hand on her forehead.
"Trunks, guess what? I'M NOT CHRYSTAL!!! SO THEREFORE I AM NOT. . . ”Venus closed her eyes and whispered, "normal!"
"Well maybe we should wait and see if they show up ok? Then you can eat your cereal. Meanwhile lets just wait and see if other people are missing spoons as well” said Ryo.
"You know what? The problem with you, Ryo is that you talk to much. Much more then me. Not good.” said Venus.
Venus Suteki, the crazy one.
The Spoon Quest begins
"Well, where should we start?” Dove asked.
"Can we go visit some other scary people?”Chibi-Janus asked. Dove shot him a "take-that-back-or-be-fried” look.
"Scary? Mr. 'black wind begins to howl' is calling
us scary? But actually that doesn't sound like a bad suggestion in essence. Let's try Rainbow's,” Dove suggested. She snapped and another Gate appeared in front of them. "I reallly do spend too much time replaying Chrono Trigger, don't I?"
dove
Oh where, oh where have our little spoons gone?
Anoma sat on her desk, chewing on the end of her braid furiously. Pathos, part-time Muse and full-time gambler, entered the room.
“Hey Anoma, what's wrong?” he asked, with true concern and a touch of fear. The last time he'd found her like that she'd somehow managed to banish all her anime charaters to an unknown region of Limbo. He was willing to bet she'd done something like that once again. Anoma did not answer though, unless you counted her mumbled singing. He sighed and magicked her headphones away. She scowled at him. He gave her a friendly smile.
"Anoma, you looked upset when I came in. Wanna talk about it?”he asked.
She stared blankly at him for a moment. Then in a voice filled with sorrow and grave seriousness she said dismally, “Spoons."
He blinked. For once in his life, Pathos the quick-talking gambling deity, was at a loss for words.
"The spoons are missing," Anoma continued, “All of them. Everyone's, gone! All gone! All is lost!"
Pathos resisted the urge to roll his eyes at Anoma's melodramatic speech. She was serious, in her way.
Anoma continued to babble morosely, “All gone. And no one knows where they've gone to," she looking sadly at him, "Do you think. . . maybe. . . could have been..” she whispered the next bit so softly he could barely hear it, ". . . my fault?"
"No!” he said. “Of course not! After all, you may have made the majority of your bishies disappear beyond your power to bring them back, but at least you were aware that you did it!"
"Well, yeah. . . "
"So. . . you obviously didn't do this!"
"Okay. . . ” Anoma's eyes lit up with hope. “So, it's not my fault?"
"Mmmhmm."
"Well, then! What are you waiting for?"
Pathos gave her a blank look.
"Bring me my headphones, Muse!"
"Nani?"
"Look, if I didn't do anything wrong, I want to relax, kick back, hang out, get it? And I need my headphones to do that."
"Ah. . . ” said the Muse. Disappointment crossed his features. She should help her friends look for the spoons at least. But he sighed and reached with his mind for the headphones. A look of embarrassment and shock registered on his face.
"Well?” Anoma snapped impatiently.
"They're umm. . . ” he started, “They're gone."
"Gone?"
"Yeah, through the same pyschic anomaly that snatched your bishounen I'd wager."
"Oh, damn. Now I'll have to fanfic in a new set!” She snapped her fingers and as the new headphones settled over her ears she sank into a more relaxed posture and began to sing along with the music. Pathos sighed and left the room, shaking his head with bewilderment. He'd never understand humans.
(The author sighs. It seems she as plenty of time to type this off-line while waiting to get back on. She is not happy, but she is bored.)
Anomaly watched out of the corner of her eye as Pathos left the room. She knew that he thought her to be insensitive. Silly Muse, of course she would help in the search. With headphones still in her ears, she crossed the room to stand near the bookcase. She had recently discovered a secret passage here that led to a spot in Limbo where powers met and crossed. Perhaps she could use it to help hunt for spoons. She slipped into that place and closed her eyes. She could feel the power, like a steady but unfathomable beat, like four-dimensional music. She drew the power into herself and carefully formed her request.
//I want something to find the missing spoons.//
The tempo of the music altered for a moment and she could feel a presence, no several, in the room with her. She opened her eyes and screamed.
Slimy, wriggling, eyeless monstrosities squirmed on the ground and in the air all around her.
"What the--?!”she shouted.
||S'mthinng!|| a voice oozed in her mind.
It, like its owner, was repulsive.
"Oh. . . ”said Anoma, understanding now. She really should remember to speak clearly when doing magic. It was little slip-ups like this that had caused her to lose her bishies. “Could you, please, help me find the missing spoons?"
||Y'z|| Anoma recoiled from the voice in her head. It felt dirty, wrong in some way. But she was unsure of how to get rid of the things. The creatures, whatever they were, melted away, beginning to search for spoons. She sighed with partial relief. At least the things were out of her sight now. Out of sight, and hopefully out of her mind.
(The author looks darn peeved. She certainly does not want to write a novel about The Search For Spoons. An odd thought crosses her mind and she giggles madly for a moment, entertained by her twisted thoughts. Oh! She hopes there's no sequel planned or she'll totally lose it. Especially if the sequel is called The Search For Spork. If you get it, the author pities you for having the same kind of warped background. Ooh. . . fic idea. . . Oh, have you noticed I've been babbling within the parentheses. If I leave them I'll have to write more Spoonfic and if I stop writing, I'll be bored. *sigh*)
Anoma left the secret room a bit shakily. Perhaps, by now, she should know better than to mess with things she didn't fully understand. But her curiousity about such things often overuled her caution. With one last shudder, she turned the volume up on her headset and sang with it as she walked to Limbo's kitchen.
"Macavity's a mystery cat! He's called the hidden paw. For he's the master criminal who can defy the law, “she sang, “He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's dispair. For when a crime's discovered. . . Macavity's not there!"
The Muses and original characters lounging in the kitchen rolled their eyes. Anoma poured herself some coffee, humming as she drank. Suddenly she stopped. She stared into space as if some great cosmic truth had just been revealed to her.
"Hey!”she said to the room in general, “Maybe it was Macavity who stole the spoons!"
Smothered laughter and looks of utter disbelief answered her.
"It was just a thought!”she said grumpily as she stalked out of the room.
(I'm writing a frickin' novel here! Egads! I'm going to stop now! I am! I'm going to get people off the phone line and post this sucker before I drive us all utterly out of our minds!!!)
Anoma, who unfortunately has
too much time on her hands
Spoo-oon!
Here spoon spoon spoon.
Sona grabbed the carton of Triple C Dough Ben and Jerry's. "Mmmmmmmm uncooked and cold. . . "
She skipped over to the kitchen drawer and pulled it open. "What the? OK, who used all the spoons and didn't wash them?!” No answer.
Sona kicked open the gate to the dragon realm. Pyro! Did you use the spoons?!"
A large red dragon looked up from where he had been sleeping. "What would i need with spoons?"
"Gods only know. Daren?"
The blue watch wher gave her a you-are-insane look and stalked away.
"Mirada! Creel!” A gold and a bronze firelizard appeared in front of her. "Where did you put the shiny objects?"
The two disappeared, then reappeared holding a handkerchief wrapped around miscellaneous pieces of metallic objects. No spoons.
Sona ran over to the living room. "Ok where are all the spoons?"
Kento looked up from his top ramen. "Try chopsticks."
"Not for ice cream!"
Quatre and Wufei looked up from their card game. "Maybe you left them in the dishwasher?” Wufei asked.
"Nope, it's empty."
Mosqui looked over from the couch where he and Averil, a large red war boar, were watching TV.
"Maybe you-"
"I didn't do anything with them!"
"Well someone sure is cranky,” Til said, walking in."
"I need ice cream! I have ice cream,” she waved the now partially melted carton of B&J, "but no spoon with witch to eat it! HAS ANYONE SEEN THE SPOONS!?"
"NO!” echoed from all corners of the gates.
"It's a conspiracy! I will hunt down my spoons dangit! White Blaze! Anubis!” The large white tiger and reddish cheetah (long story) slowly stood, casting 'help us' looks to the rest of the group.
"To the Bat Tank!"
Anubis: "Growl.” Translation: The wha?
White Blaze: "Snarl” Translation: She just finised watching Tank Girl.
Sona: "Ryo-Ohki! Lets go!” She grabbed the cabbit, who tried to make a run for it, and threw her into the air. The crazy girl and two big cats jumped on board.
"We are off to locate some spoons!"
Sona *my posse in tow*
::ala the Tick:: SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
"Okay. . . no spoons. That's. . . odd to say the least. Have you guys checked all the drawers?” Rain asked.
Vincent nodded, choosing to answer since Duo was in a state of near hysteria, being unable to defend his title of 'God of Spoons' without spoons to use in said spoonfight.
"The dishwasher?"
"Yes."
"Luceid's lab?"
"Yes."
"Trent's room?"
"Yes."
"Behind the T.V?"
"There too."
"Did you ask the Chibis?"
"Of course."
"How about the gremlins?"
"Them too."
"Did you check all my dimensional rips?"
"Every one. Like I said, there aren't
any spoons to be found here."
Rain sighed, placing a hand to her forehead. She was already on her way to a spectacular migraine and it hadn't even been 10 minutes since she heard that all the spoons were gone. "Okay. . . first off, calm down Duo. I'm
sure we'll find some spoons somewhere and until then, why don't you and Evil Wu use sporks or something?” she said.
The vampiric boy sniffled. "It's just not the same. . . "
The door swung open once more and Luceid stormed in her traditional shredded black JnCo's with 50 inch wide legs that had red paint splattered on them to look like blood, black Marylin Manson tee and white labcoat. She was also holding a bowl of chocolate Frosted Flakes and a ladle, looking a wee bit peeved. "Where the 'ell are all the bloody SPOONS?! I can't very well eat m' Frost'd Flakes wi'a bloody LADLE!” she growled, brandishing the ladle for emphasis. It was apparent that the Guardian of Insanity was in a foul mood due to the lack of spoonage.
Rain sighed, for about the fourth time that day. "There are no spoons Luceid, and no, we don't know why. Could you do me a favor and round up as many of the rest of my horde as you can? I have a feeling we might need them with this..” she said.
"Yeah, yeah. . . I'll be right back. Cripes. . . no spoons. . . bloody stupid if y' ask me..,” she muttered, wandering back out of the library. Within a half-hour she'd retrieved Trent, Schuldich, Evil Wufei, Aya, Dilandau, Zero, Rowen, Irvine, Zelgadis, Chichiri, Xelloss, Cale, Chibi-Asuka, Chibi-Shinji, Chibi-Van, Chibi-Ken, Chibi Seph-Neko, Chibi-Tenchi, Nikki, Eikichi, Sephiroth, Magus and Omi. "That's all of 'em I could find. . . the others're probably hidin',” Luceid reported.
"Doesn't matter. . . I think that's most of them. Anyway guys, I'm sure you're all aware of the lack of spoons..” Rain began, getting nods and one 'No sh*t, Sherlock', as a means of confirmation. After she'd fried Trent with a Bolt 4 spell, she continued. "We can't allow this to go on, since we can't use sporks for everything, and ladles are right out as well. Therefore, we're gonna find the spoon-stealing wacko and kick his ass six ways from Sunday.”
Rainbow Fright, who's listening to Limp Bizkit again.
Spoons? Spoons gone?
All gone? Nuuuuuuuu!!
In a previously abandoned corner of the FicVerse, which was turned into a Vale (hot springs & all >
):
Lyric had just made herself a big bowl of Campbell's Chunky Sirloin Burger & Veggie Soup, one of her favorites, and was searching the ekele (multi-story tree house around a huge, magically-grown tree) for a spoon, all of which seemed to have disappeared.
"Rrysa, where're the spoons?"
: Didn't you put them up? I thought you did the dishes this week.:
"Nope, I had laundry. You didn't do anything with them?"
Rrysa shot her a disgusted look. :Yes, I stole them all. You know how much I need spoons, Lyr.:
"Har dee har har, Rrys. D'you think the guys would know where they are?"
Rrysa snorts. :Like I'm supposed to know?:
Lyric set her soup down on the table. "Well, you
can read minds, after all."
:That happens to be very rude, in case you didn't hear Keighvin when he explained that. Besides, I'm your mindmate. I don't just talk to everybody.:
"Okay, I'm gonna go ask 'em. Look around for the spoons, will ya? I'm kinda hungry.” Lyric headed for the stairs.
: I don't think you need to worry about your dinner,: Rrysa chuckled.
Lyric whirled about and looked at the table. "Kento Kitten!!” she yelped. Kento Kitten looked up and licked his whiskers. "Mrrrow?"
: I told you all those kittens would be trouble. . . : said Rrysa, a canine smirk on her face.
"Shut up, Rrysa.” Lyric growled and stormed down the stairs to find the guys.
Lyric "Schpoooooooonnn!!!”Wildsong