Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get married.
They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis ?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."
The Lawyer and the Blonde
A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game.
The blonde Is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists, that the game is a lot of fun. "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the blonde's attention: and to keep him quiet, she agrees to Play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth To the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill With three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop, Searches all references. He uses the Airphone; he searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he finally gives up.
He Wakes up the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde takes the $500 and goes back> to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes her up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"
The blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.
E-Mail from God
One day, God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior
that was going on. So God called one of the angels and sent the angel to
earth.
When she returned, she told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are
misbehaving and only 5% are not."
God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second
angel to get another opinion."
So God called another angel and sent him to earth for a time too.
When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it is true, earth is
in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good."
God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% who were being good,
because he wanted to encourage them...give them a little something to help
them keep going.
Do you know what the e-mail said?
Okay, just wondering; ...I didn't get one either.
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