Thought this was too valuable not to share! Love & Light!
There comes a time in your life when you finally “get it”. When, in the midst of all your fears, you stop dead in your tracks & somewhere, somehow, that voice inside your head cries out “Enough!”. Enough fighting & crying & struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears & through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective. This is your awakening….
You realise that it is time to stop hoping & waiting for something, or someone, to change, or for happiness, safety & security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren’t always fairytale endings (or beginnings, for that matter) & that any guarantee of ‘happily ever after’ must begin with YOU.
Then, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
So you begin making your way through the ‘reality of today’ rather than holding out for the ‘promise of tomorrow’. You realise that much of you who are & the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you have received over the course of a lifetime, & you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about:
- how you should look & how much you should weigh
- what you should wear & where you should shop
- where you should live or what type of car you should drive
- who you should hang out with & how you should behave
- who you should marry & why you should stay
- the importance of bearing children or what you owe your family
Slowly, you begin to open up to new worlds & different points of view. You begin reassessing & redefining who you are & what you really believe in. You begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.
You accept the fact that you are not perfect & that not everyone will love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are … & that’s okay… they are entitled to their own views & opinions. You come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 8 or a perfect human being for that matter… & you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. You take a long look at yourself in the mirror & you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love & support you give so freely to others.
Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop manoeuvring through life merely as a ‘consumer’ – hungry for your next fix – a new dress, a better car, or looks of approval & admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover that “it is truly in giving that we receive” & that the joy & abundance you seek grows out of the giving. You recognise the importance of ‘creating’ & ‘contributing’ rather than ‘obtaining’ & ‘accumulating’.
You give thanks for the simple things you have been blessed with, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about – a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, the freedom of choice & the opportunity to pursue your own dreams.
You begin to love & to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviours, including participating in dysfunctional relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, & exercising. And because you’ve learned that fatigue drains the spirit & creates doubt & fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit & so you make it a point to create time for play.
Then you begin to really understand about love & relationships – how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving & when to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly loves & respects you to glorify you with his/her touch. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean, or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally, & that not everyone will always come through, &, interestingly enough, it’s not always about YOU.
So, you stop lashing out & pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren’t done for you. And you learn to keep your ego in check & to acknowledge & redirect the destructive emotions it spawns; anger, jealousy & resentment.
You learn how to say “I was wrong” & to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls & about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. At the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift & edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over & setting your needs aside.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly okay & that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence & grace. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry & that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt & responsibility, & the importance of setting boundaries & learning to say ‘no’. You learn that you don’t know or have all the answers, & it’s not your job to save the world & that sometimes you just need to ‘let go’.
You learn to look at people as they really are & not as you would want them to be & you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man/woman on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow & change, so it is with love & relationships & that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realise that it is wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet YOUR standards & expectations.
You learn that the only love worth giving & receiving is the love that is given freely, without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it really means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations & outcomes. You learn that ‘alone’ does not mean ‘lonely’ & you begin to discover the joy of spending time ‘with yourself’. Then you discover the greatest & most fulfilling love you will ever know… self love. And so it comes to pass that, through understanding, your heart heals, & all new things are possible.
It's all about looking forward, concentrating on what good you do have and thinking positive. Be thankful for what you do have... and not what you don't. I'm thankful for my Mom and loving family.
Hi Oz!
I don't know where you get your insight from but it sure does come across in more than a positive way. These really are the rules for us to follow in life. It's a shame we have to bend or break them instead of follow them. If this was from another author, credit them. If this was from your own experience, take a bow and accept the credit that is due. You deserve a hug for passing along such a heart felt piece. It did strike a nerve and it really did sting. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Hi AH! Wish I did write it. I don't know the author, but as I said, too good not to pass along! Sometimes we need to hear some truths even when we don't want to. This is a gentle (or not so...) way to give us a kick in the pants! Love & Light!
Totally agree and would add say goodbye to who you were and celebrate who you are as you are. It is a wonderful thing to figure out that you don't have to be Einstien or look like a Barbie doll someone will love you. I remember my neice loved my mothers hands...they were not pretty but wrinkled and gnarled but the neice thought they were beautiful and wanted hands just like them...I think it is because those are the hands that loved her
That was a long one. Had to read it in 2 parts, lol. My mentality is not what it used to be and it was so beautiful I wanted to absorb it like a sponge.
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