while they are waiting... I hope TLC is up soon.
Here is some Kulty-Reading to ease your pain...
The Exterminator
By: Laughing Chance
First Draft Plus: September 9th, 2004
I got a call to head out to the old Brownfield place to take
care of a Hornets nest. It seems that them Hornets had taken up
a nest under old man Brownfields front porch. I run the
local hardware store and do a little exterminatin’ on the side.
Well it ain't much but it's a few dollars here and there. So
I took the job.
Now, I know the old man some 25 years or more and he ain’t
one to ask help often. I’ve known him to handle these things on
his own then to be calling in an exterminator. Many of the older
country folk are like that ‘round here. So I figured it must be
a good size colony for him to be needin’ me to head on over
there like this.
I packed up my pick-up with the necessary equipment and
drove on out there. I didn’t care much for that part of the
county. For one reason… most of them old places was
depressin’ being all boarded up and all. Wells gone dry,
failed crops and several missing children over the years.
Them peoples were dirt poor 'fore all this happened too.
I guess the old man is determined to die in that old house.
He ain’t ever lived no where else to my reckoning. Seein’
how the misses up and died there 2 years ago we all pretty
much figured he wouldn't be far behind her. They ain’t never
had no children ‘nether. He's all alone out there.
I got out there about 2 o’clock and was headed up the
drive and I could hear them buzzin’ already. There was
so many of them there hornets flying around it cast a
shadow over the house. I stopped my truck, tossed’er in
reverse so I could get out and put on my gear. You know,
at a safe distance...
I got on the suit and started to walk up to the door. Them
Hornets was all over the porch, like a giant mound of ‘em maybe
3 foot high. If I'm lyin' I'm dying man.
I ain’t quite seen nothing like it. They was all over me and
I had to wipe them off the mask visor so I could see. I
Was tensing up… even in the suit I still get a little nervous
‘round these darn blasted things.
But this here was real freaky. But I did my best to relax some.
As I got nearer I could make out a hand sticking out through
the huge mound of Hornets. It was lifeless and I thanked God
for that. I don’t know what I’d done if he was still alive. I
could see the hornets was all agitated. It’s my guess the old
man got impatient and tried to bust up the nest some as there
was an old broken broom stick next to him there on the porch.
I rolled him over and wiped off them hornets from his horrified face.
It was him for sure and he looked real awful. They was even in
his mouth… I felt sick and hurried away back toward my truck.
As I neared, that’s when I saw something by the brush. Near the
woods… at the edge of the old mans property. I couldn’t
be sure but it looked vaguely like a man in shadow or some-
body.
I waived my arms to him… “Go and get outta here! These
Here hornets are all riled up…” I walked a little closer. “Hello?”
I said over and over. Just as I thought it was my imagination
a swarm of Wasps come at me.
The way the came at me was like a spear! Man I tell ya'
I was really startled and stumbled backwards.
I fell on my ass and they was all over me. I got
several stings as the suit pulled tight. When you wear the suit
you got to be relaxed and gangly-like or they can get ya…
and brother they did.” I got up and ran toward my truck. They was all
over and I couldn’t see. The sky looked like night and the damn
buzzin’ was deafening… I eventually stumbled into my truck
and rolled up the window. I swatted all them little fuckers
as fast as I could. Man, I was scared shit-less…”
Eventually I started her up and headed back to town and
told the sheriff. Hell, I ain’t ever been on another job since.
That whole area is taken over with ‘em now as I understand it.
Sometimes I think about the old man. He musn't had many friends.
It never even made the local papers. I mean a thing like that!
It makes me wonder if that's what happened to them there kids...
It ain't like I ain't got my own problems... damn spiders
'round here ev'rywhere lately...