Prompted by the latest revelation that German speaking foreigners (possibly from Austria, Luxembourg or Prussia, God forbid) have been stealing summit registers in the Idaho mountains, I solicited input from WWE wrestling superstars Kane and Undertaker. As some of you may recall, the "Brothers of Destruction" took up the cause a few years ago when other miscreants began the epidemic of register thefts in our fair state. A phone call to their agent last Wednesday, was promptly returned and it was agreed to meet last week on the summit of Lorenzo Peak near Sun Valley.
As you can imagine, it is quite intimidating to interview living legends like Kane and Undertaker, so I cautiously attempted to break the ice with manly wrestling conversation. "I was thrilled to see you fellows fighting one another in Wrestlemania XIV this past winter. I hope there are no hard feelings between you two", I meekly commented.
"Listen, Amigo, we've come here to discuss peak bagging and register thievery, not wrestling" responded the Undertaker. "Our manager would have a hissy fit if he knew we were discussing wrestling without compensation."
"Kane and I thought we had put this issue to rest a few years ago when we promised to crush the register thief's skull if we ever caught him" noted the older of the "Brothers of Destruction".
"I am truly dismayed that the thief is still out there" added 7 foot younger brother, Kane.
"I have an idea who may be behind this skullduggery" stated Kane. "The Iron Sheik sometimes speaks German when no one is listening."
"Now that you mention it, Little Bro, last time I saw the Sheik, I swear he had several film canisters in his wrestling trunks" commented Undertaker.
"Good observation, Big Bro. However, recall that last time we saw the Sheik, he was assisting the Divas with some new wrestling holds."
"Correct as usual, partner. Those may not have been film canisters after all."
Undertaker turned to me. "We will keep an eye out for the missing summit registers. And our promise still stands, if we catch that register stealing Kraut, we will break his face."
"Thanks a lot" I responded.
At this, the Brothers ended the interview and abruptly turned to scree ski down the West Face, leaving me in disbelief and awe.
"Good luck at RAW!" I shouted.
The auto-timer caught Kane and Undertaker with me on the summit of Lorenzo Peak. Kane was wearing his attractive new mask for the interview.