| Original Message |
Jim (no login)
Posted Dec 29, 2008 1:18 PM
The new year is merely a few days away, and like that great fraud... I mean "prophet" Nostradamus, I have consulted with the mystic powers to divine what will await us in 2009. Behold the future!
- I predict that liberals across America will be very angry and bitter when Barack Obama doesn't instantly improve everything and fails to transform the country into the happy hippie wonderland they desire.
- I predict that Hillary Clinton will be the Dick Cheney of the Obama administration.
- I predict that after a disastrous presidency, George W. Bush will go into hiding and will not be seen again for at least 10 years. Dick Cheney will return to his coffin until the Dark Lord summons him to bring about Armageddon.
- I predict that in the wake of Proposition 8, bullshitting busybodied bureaucrats will enact more laws and proposals to restrict the freedoms of the American people.
- I predict that under Barack Obama's presidency, the government will become much larger and more intrusive.
- I predict that Sarah Palin will get her own talk show. Still hazy as to whether or not it will be just as dumb as the other daytime talk shows, or even more stupid.
- I predict that there will be violence between Israelis and Palestinians (okay, that one's kind of a given).
- I predict that the film "Watchmen" will kick major ass.
- I predict the release of a new Sonic the Hedgehog game that won't suck.
- I predict that while Conan O'Brien will prosper when he takes over "The Tonight Show", Jimmy Fallon will fail miserably when he takes over Conan's spot.
- I predict that Castro, Ahmadinejad, Kim Jong-Il and Hugo Chavez will become even more insane (another given).
- I predict that in spite of repeated promises that our troops will be withdrawn from Iraq as soon as possible, someone will pull from their ass a foolish reason as to why they need to stay longer.
- I predict that liberals and conservatives will continue to respond to one another with hatred and harsh criticism instead of trying to find common ground (that one is a definite given).
- I predict that "The Simpsons" will become funny again (I know it's a longshot, but that's what the stars told me.)
- I predict that no matter what comes our way in 2009, we will all try to make the best of it and live our lives as well as we can, helping others and trying to make things better.
Happy new year.
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