I just read How to Play With Your Food (and pulled a few gags on my co-workers, but zoo keepers are notoriously hard to gross out or even to surprise). I love the milkshake story, but I'm wondering whether it's true.

Anybody know? Like, say, Penn?

Easily my favorite Penn story and one of my earliest Penn and Teller memories (a friend had this book and I read this story and fell in love with the guys). I was hoping he would tell it on the radio.

Cheers

Jamie

"These two months at Plymouth
were the most miserable which
I ever spent" - Charles Darwin

Hi Jamie,

I checked with Penn to see if it really happened, and he said:


"Yup, the milkshake story is, sadly, true."

Boy, would I loved to have been there to see it. Makes me laugh just thinking about it. Not a bad strategy to avoid getting hit.

Sincerely,
Audrey



Webmistress:
The Web Home of Penn & Teller
Pennandteller.com

Libbie's topic.

Cheers

Jamie

"These two months at Plymouth
were the most miserable which
I ever spent" - Charles Darwin

Man.

That is the BEST STORY EVER.

I am unaware of this story, but with you guys hyping it, I need to hear it now. Can anyone give a summary?

The story is called "A Milkshake as Self-defense"

Obviously I won't tell it as good as Penn but here goes.

It's a story about the days when Penn hitchhiked across America in the early 70's (I see it says here, 1973) making money here and there as a street juggler. For a while he had been living on milkshakes (he quips that somehow he kept thin and he should have invented slim fast). One night he walks into a diner and orders a vanilla milkshake while waiting for his order, 2 truckers come in and order coffees. They make comments about Penn's appearance which didn't bother Penn. One of them said to the waitress 'what's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this' which made Penn smile. One of the truckers caught Penn smiling and said 'what are you laughing at faggot?' The waitress perks up and says 'he was laughing at what assholes you are'. Penn tried to reassure them that he was doing no such thing, to which they replied 'are you calling this pretty lady a liar?' [as you know Penn is a big guy but so gentle, so conflicts like this aren't his forte] the altercation takes a turn for the worst when the truckers ask/tell Penn to step outside. Penn tells them that he knows that if he steps outside they will beat him until they get tired and please just accept his apology, all he wants is his milkshake which the waitress just brought to the counter. The truckers tell him that they will beat him up inside the dinner or outside and pulled Penn to his feet by his shirt. And now I'll quote from the book if that's alright.

"I picked up the vanilla milkshake in its frosty-cold canister, looked Mr. Truck Driver in the eye, smiled like an idiot, and poured the milkshake over my head. Globs flowed down my hair, over my face and my glasses. It was all over my clothes. It was cold sticky and no fun. He was disgusted and disappointed 'This faggot is retarded. He's crazy. I aint hitting no crazy, retarded faggot'"

They paid for their coffees and left. The chef from that diner made Penn a hamburger and a new milkshake and allowed him to wash up in the sink.

The punchline to the story is that even truck drivers who are full of hate don't want to get sticky.

Cheers

Jamie

"These two months at Plymouth
were the most miserable which
I ever spent" - Charles Darwin

ROFL, thanks a lot!

My personal favorite part of the story is that once he realizes he can't escape a beating, he says to the truckers, "Okay, wait!" and then goes and grabs the milkshake. As if he's consenting to the beating, but first he must put on his frosty, vanilla-y beating suit.

Also, after the truckers leave he bitches out the girl, who deserved it. And the cook takes the cost of Penn's burger and fries out of her paycheck. lolz.

hahaah, thats great! Penn is so awesome.