Specific documentation

If she is dead set on divorce, then you will immediately need to start thinking about custody arrangements. Here is the deal with that. It is a well-documented and researched fact that borderline women raise borderline children. Kids are little parrots and imitate everything they see. That is part of the way the human brain intakes information and how a person learns to act. Daughers mimick their moms and gain important social, emotional and behavioral cues that way. You do not want your daughter learning how to manipulate, blame and act out emotionally as your wife does. Bernie, you are going to need to fight for as much custody time with your daughter as you possibly can. She is going to need you deeply in the future if she is going to have a fighting chance at being emotionally healthy and stable as an adult.

I would really recommend that you begin to research father's rights in your state and see what way the courts are deciding (either in favor of father's or not). In Missouri when 2 deemed sane parents are battling for custody, the mother gains sole legal custody 90 percent of the time. In Illinois the mother gains custody at a rate of 60 percent. In California it is a 50/50 split. If your state gives dads a fair shake then that will give you a clue as to what type of attorney to hire. If dads get a raw deal, then you will need an attorney who is very savvy with father's rights. Missouri is horrible in regards to father's rights. My eyes have been opened to this fact in dealing with some of my clients as well as in my husband's case. We called around and got referrals on lawyers and ended up hiring the best of the best and so far, so good.

Here is a list of some of the documentation that you will need to gather now. You are trying to prove that you are a fit father and will be a better caretaker for your daughter.
1. financial records/bank statements (if your wife makes more $, then ask for child support...don't be prideful about it)
2. documentation of her mental issues (receipts from counseling sessions, prescription bottles of anti-depressants or other, prescription receipts)
3. photographic evidence of damage to the house along with dates of any incidents (marked walls, door frames, busted windows) goes a long in proving that she is unsafe to caretake a child.
4. child's health records
5. receipts from things that you have bought or done to care for your child
6. notes, cards or letters to you which show mood swings or unstable emotional health
7. photos of you only with your daughter to put into a collage or album to show the relationship that you have with her
8. credit card bills, phone bills, or any other documentation which show any out of control spending on her part
9. any evidece which points to her out of control behavior
10. keep a notebook of incidents which show any poor parenting choices on her part. Handwrite the incidents and mark them with time and date.

This is more than enough to get you started. You really need to get an attorney right away if divorce is the avenue that she is pursuing. Bernie, again I am truly sorry. Just know that even in the midst of your pain this is a critical window of time here wherein you can gather this information to have on hand when you will go to battle for your daughter.