It says in your advertisement that your product produces "substantial growth in both length and girth." I just measured and there isn't any difference but my voice is much higher.
I do not want to sing the role of Juliet, you know --- Mrs. Grundy is reserving that role for herself, and it doesn't do to cross her.
I demand a prompt refund and reimbursement for dry cleaning also. The creatures filling out my costume have objected strongly to this role and have had their revenge.
