No, the Captain ISN'T pregnant, Squeaky. How did you ever get that idea? Everyone knows he's too old. And, no, you aren't having morning sickness--you aren't pregnant either. You're too old too. (And I think there's something else, but I can't remember what exactly.)
One cracker with Marmite on it isn't going to do that to you, you know. You'd have to have had at least seven or eight.
I think you're just trying to avoid clean-up duty after the Opera Director's wonderful party. My oh my, there is a BIG mess to clean up. I'm going to ask Carnaby to read to you so you will feel better soon.
