My Dear Danish Chef: Your charges are outrageous! If I must pay for consolation for my purple hair, why, then I want a "Black Forest Gateau" instead (Authentic Recipe). Use butter, not margarine. And 6-7 cups, not tablespoons kirsch! Do not lick the spatula, either.

PS. How much is Ducky paying for her bourbon soufflé?

Snicker, snicker. The Captain's beautiful red hair is not natural! He uses a washing lotion to color it. I heard it from the Danish chef. (I never knew he was so vain.) Since he's been so stingy with his red bubbly I'm going to broadcast it all over the ship.

Those who know me are well aware that the Magnicent GREY locks that adorn this Captainly head have never known the taint of false coloring !
You may have noticed, thoug, that I at no time have made comment here aboutthe person aboard who uses a girdle to keep his shape trim.

A girdle !!! A girdle !!! I do NOT wear a girdle. I was simply trying a costume piece on for Ducky. Mrs. Gundy's not very obliging and Ducky uses me for a model since she and I are the same size. The same size across, that is. I am a foot taller, of course.

If I were a man given to violence I would flatten you for your statement, my dear Captain. I wouldn't need the Danish chef's frying pan to do it either.

Ok, Mme Ovalpuss - Black Forest Gateau it will be !
Ducky paid nothing for the Souffle, as the Opera Director told me, never to charge Ducky for anything.
Also I need Ducky now, to find out, where the captain hid the Kirsch bottle.

Do I know where the Captain hid the Kirsch bottle? I've looked under his bed, I've looked in his trunk, and I've looked in the mini bar. I thought I knew all his hiding places, but I can't find the bottle.

Let me think. Oh, here it is. He didn't hide it after all. Fifi is pouring drinks from it for Fang and Casey. They look a little wobbly. I hope they're not drunk. And I hope there's enough for the Danish Chef to make Madam Ovalpuss's Black Forest Gateau. She will be cross if there isn't.